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The honing of the twat radars - dating chat thread number 9

999 replies

lubeybooby · 08/02/2012 20:24

Thread got too big so here's a new one :o

All dating, online or otherwise in here please

Chit chat to serious stuff - off we go!

OP posts:
PoppaRob · 20/02/2012 13:19

Cool. Just thought I'd float the idea. I do honestly hope it all works out and he's your "One".

watchoutforthatsnail · 20/02/2012 13:45

and i want to say thanks to you all for being all supportive when i was having a bit of a wobble.
I feel tons better now ( as predicted, never lasts for long)

The long term dude messaged me to see how my day was, and ive been nattering to a few people, one of which is going to call me later today. Also spoke to my lovely friend who is also single, who told me to stop being an idiot and get back out there, and that i wouldnt have given a shit had the teacher not been so gushy towards me and reminded me that i didnt want to date him ( which i didnt) so i was being a bit pathetic. This is true :)

and i cant even remember the one from saturdays name, so i cant be upset about that either.

so - its normal service resumed.
and, thanks all round.

lovesadirtylie · 20/02/2012 14:00

thats the thing, I find that even if I do feel a bit smitten with someone it fades fairly quickly and the more short term 'flings' I have the easier it is to get over them and shake of those inconvenient emotional attachments.

I not to let things get too intense and then to end things quietly, just let it slide so that I'm just left with nice memories

Snapespeare · 20/02/2012 14:05

'the deed' does not have a scheduled day/time as yet. I've suggested that he cook me dinner for the next date. he's agreed. I'm leaving it all a bit 'unfirm' at the mo.

it has, after all, been a while.

Snapespeare · 20/02/2012 14:05

watch glad you're feeling a bit perkier! :)

adamschic · 20/02/2012 14:38

Yes, onwards and upwards and the good thing is that you are finding out who the t--ts are before you get emotionally involved with them.

awaywego1 · 20/02/2012 17:06

Long term lurker on this thread coming out of the woodwork for advice/reassurance Blush
Have been online dating on and off for sometime with some limited successes I guess. Anyway last week I messaged a guy on GS who I have met previously in real life-totally giddy about the whole thing as I had a massive crush on him when I met him a while back but our paths had never crossed again. Anyway, met him yesterday he was lovely we spent about 4 hours together. Seems we want v similar things etc. He says he definately wants to meet up again etc and I do too. He was totally up front in saying that he had a previously arranged date on tuesday with another person he had also met online but had also met in real life iyswim and felt that he should/wanted to honour it. Now I know this is perfectly fine and the done thing and said I understood etc, which I do but I also feel a bit upset and insecure-and am now thinking 'if he liked me that much he would cancel it' I really hate the inital dating nerves and insecurity-I know it is my stuff not his but just wondered if anyone felt the same and had any tips for managing it without feeling like a bunny boiler and being more relaxed about the whole thing. Tell me I'm being ridiculous!

Snapespeare · 20/02/2012 18:16

You're being ridiculous! :) he's been honest with you that he's doing it, you have no reason to suspect this other date is preferable to you & you might be investing a teeny weeny little bit too much in a very fledgling 'relationship' that doesn't merit this amount of stressing out... :)

awaywego1 · 20/02/2012 19:11

Thanks! I know I need to settle down. Has made me realise how much of an impact my fuckwitted ex has had on my self esteem-and I need to try and sort that out Smile

Phoenixx · 20/02/2012 23:12

Excitement Alert Been chatting to a very lovely man on POF seems normal, funny, intelligent a little older than me at 46 (I am 37) somehow he is retired, how could that be, I am guessing he either has health problems or he is very financially secure, weird. Anyway as yet my radar is not flashing at me and I am looking forward to meeting him, hopefully at the weekend. Ideas for first date wear and locations would be much appreciated ladies :o

awaywego1 · 21/02/2012 08:58

Ooh like the excitement. Grin I tend to go for a coffee or drink on first date as I've made the mistake before of meals which can become tricky of you realise after the first 5 mins that there's no spark/it's really awkward etc. Tend to go quite casual-skinny jeans/boots/nice top. When are you meeting?

watchoutforthatsnail · 21/02/2012 09:17

definatley a coffee first, or some kind of activity - like beach, park and ice cream. Something cheap, casual, in public and that only takes about 90 mins. You need to be able to get out quick if you need to, without it costing alot.
Never do evening drinks unless you really fancy them, are almost 100% sure you will get on ( regardless of any spark) and think they will be a laugh. Drink makes people horney and more confident, there is more of a chance you will end up in bed - of course, if this is your aim, go ahead.

Dont dress up too much, dont buy anything new. Chanves are sparks wont fly and if you keep buying new things it will work out very expensive. Jean/ boots/ casual top. is always a good choice. Dont go showing too much boob as if you dont fancy them its all kinds of awkward.

away - what snape said.

so, the guy called last night. Hes from essex, he sounds like ollie murs. Im not sure if this is a good thing or not. He sounds nice, little awkward, he was like ' im rubbish at his, not women, i know how to treat women, im just rubbish at chatting women up and dating' which was quite sweet, and he laughed when i took the piss :) i think we would get on ok, date is pencilled in for the 10th march.

The other one, messaged me to see how my day was, and then again later on, date pencilled in for 3rd march. Bass player in a band, bit scruff ( face like a potato though)

I may, or may not go on any of these dates, ill talk to them more and see what i think.

oh and the twat on fb has sent me another sleezy message....! fgs!

awaywego1 · 21/02/2012 09:29

What watch said and also wear something you feel comfy and confident in, there's nothing worse than nerves being heightened by having the urge to hoik and pull at your outfit all night. Sober first dates are a good idea-tho more anxiety provoking, my last date was multiple coffees and a stroll round the park-and then we ended up going for a drink but I could have left after 'a' coffee iyswim.

awaywego1 · 21/02/2012 09:34

Watch-I like a scruff- not sure about the potato face though Grin sounds like some good potential though, hopefully you'll get a bit more sense of them if you chat a bit longer.

watchoutforthatsnail · 21/02/2012 09:46

away - yeah, if its going well, you can go on from te coffee and do other things, and itf its not you can just go and everyones pride is intact. Ive had ' walk' dates that have then gone to a pub, then dinner, then drinks.... and ive had coffee dates that have lasted 30 mins :)

I like a scruff too. hes messaged me this morning too. Bit too keen????? I dont like his face though, its all smushed u and there looks like there might be some teeth issues. I shall try and get some more pics.
The essex one is really cute, but hes short, like 5ft6. Im 5ft 2.5, so its not that much of an issue... ish. He just seems like he is alot of fun, i enjoyed talking to him.

Anyway - in the interests of sharing the knowledge - because i had messaged him, he said he was really taken back, as girls dont tend to message first ( and he had never had a first message from a girl) so he thought it was really brave, and cool and his ego was flattered, esp when i sent him my pics. So - to all those that are never sure if they should message first, id say, from that male reaction, go for it. ( i did explain it was only an email ,and what was the worse that cold happen, but i did leave off the part telling him i messaged a few people - haha )

Snapespeare · 21/02/2012 10:39

Grin at 'smushed up face' poor soul! for GODSAKE sort out the teeth issues! I speak from experience!

first date = something you feel comfy in. not low cut, jeans and boots, casual top and cardy for this weather. minimal jewellry, light make up, casual hair. absolutely killer underwear, because only you will know about that and it will give you a bit of naughty-confidence knowing that you're wearing lovely undies. Wink

Got a lovely message on OKC over the weekend from a guy that just isn't my type. must send nice response back.

watchoutforthatsnail · 21/02/2012 10:42

it is smushed up. let me send you his profile, and the essex one. have a look for me.

i dont think i can go on a date with the smushed up face one. shallow?, yes, probably.

awaywego1 · 21/02/2012 10:54

One woman's 'smushed up' face is another's 'delightfully interesting'..err here's hoping for his sake Grin
I don't think you can help but be shallow in this situation unless someone bowls you over with the most amazing MSG (and then I think they are just trying too hard) can't win Wink

Flanelle · 21/02/2012 10:55

Oh. Dear. God.

Have lunch date with hot prospect, so of COURSE I woke up with a spot on my top lip, which I then prodeeded to try and squeeze, with predictably disastrous results... so I've tried to cover it up with powder, and I've tried to distract attention upwards with more eye makeup than usual, and now I look SO TERRIFYING that I'm not sure I can leave the house. I have 20 minutes! What the bloody buggery hell do I do??!!

Snapespeare · 21/02/2012 11:04

it's smushed up. I can confirm it is smushed up and watch is giving him all of his christmases in one handy container by dropping her standards low enough to talk to him.

flanelle it's too late. draw a large circle around teh spot with eyeliner and an arrow. then write 'look at my lovely spot' on your cheek. Wink

:) dust face powder over the eye-make up, so make it a bit less joan collins. hold ice in kitchen roll on the spot for five mins to kill-down any red. tiny bit of concelaer. neutral lipstick or light gloss.

Flanelle · 21/02/2012 11:08

Ha! It's just too late full stop. I'm telling myself that it makes me look more ordinary and approachable and less of an unattainable goddess.

weeps

Snapespeare · 21/02/2012 11:09

:) it's one of these things that we think is horrifically disfiguring, but blokes don't register because they are too busy looking at your tits. (disclaimer: Not my lovely intelligent sensitive male friends, oh no!)

watchoutforthatsnail · 21/02/2012 12:39

Flan, he won't notice. Sure of it, or make a joke of it yourself? Good luck.

Yep, its a smushed face. Thinking About it, snape is probably right, I.sent him pics ( no pic on profile) and he asked me out the next message. This was like the second or third message. , so, yeah.

Phoenixx · 21/02/2012 13:14

Thanks ladies I will keep it pretty casual then, it is so difficult when I get excited I get carried away, my first online date went really well, we ended up having 3 dates but I think he just too busy for little ole me, the one I had this weekend was horrendous I was ashamed to be seen in public with him and almost ran off haha We have not set a date yet but more than likely it will be the weekend, and not drinking is a great idea, I go with good intentions but if there is some chemistry going on I will want to shag him, which is not really ideal for me on a first date. I seem to be getting some nice men messaging me, a lawyer, a pilot, a policeman and Mr 'Retired' I would like to meet them all :)

Phoenixx · 21/02/2012 13:17

Good Luck Flanelle He wont notice, full report wanted on your return please :o