The honing of the twat radars - dating chat thread number 9

[lubeybooby]

Thread got too big so here's a new one :o

All dating, online or otherwise in here please

Chit chat to serious stuff - off we go!

Well on the upside i have nev er said i would go and then changed my mind. Just always made an excuse as to why i am busy so therefore cant go. once i have my own home, i may well start going then. Life is starting to feel good again!

Think i may hold out until i get my place for this one fella to ask and if he hasnt by then, i will start meeting other people. And see where it leads from there really.

snape - how did the date go?

Im going to be a bit grumpy and sorry for myself, just humour me... meh

The teacher vanished into thin air thursday. Wed he said he was really looking forward to friday, and thur he just went poof into thin air. No reply to texts, i called, no answer. His profile has been closed down, and a new one, with the exact same details, same written bits, but new name, has been set up. I feel l ike a tit. Actually i feel worse than a tit. I would be lying if i said i wasnt hurt.

I went on a coffee date yesterday morning, which was also awful.

I consolded myself be eating my own weight in cheese.

The one from oct sent me a very very presumptions message, and ive told him hes a cock for messing around behind his gfs back ( and after some fb digging it seems its more serious, at least on her side than he said. So - im no longer seeing him either.

I am feeling totally fed up.Probably because im pmsing, but fgs, is it too much to ask for me to have, even some kind of casual, fun, lighthearted relationship?
It seems so.

Watch, what a horrible hurtful cowardly thing for the teacher to do, fucking hell anyone would be hurt!
Same sort of thing happens to me all the time, you'd think an FWB thing could work but in my experience the men try to get the upper hand and keep you on the back foot.

He's a fucker, he better hope you're not vindictive

Watch, that is really crap. I would be hurt too. I reckon when some people have been on these sites for a while they forget they're dealing with actual people with real feelings. But that behaviour takes a particular type of specimen. You haven't contacted him on his new profile have you?

Hello Ladies, would you be kind enough to let me join you all. I started using dating sites a couple of months ago, went on a date with what I thought was a lovely man (physically not my type AT ALL) we spent about 8 weeks chatting constantly on whatsapp and skpye , went on three dates,on the last one he told me he loved me and got a 'phone call' saying he had been burgled and buggered off and left me and I have not seen him since, my radar must be seriously down :-( Anyway I brushed myself off joined OKC and chatted with a few blokes on there, one seemed particularly lovely until he told me he liked wearing tights WTF Yesterday had a date with a short man who showed me pictures of his cat so I ended up making a sharp exit. I feel a bit like despairing as we all do.

Three dates with the same man now.

I don't want to see him again.

He doesn't drive, I have to collect him from station and take him back to station.

He turns up without shaving then shaves at my house.

When we kiss my toes don't curl in fact its horrible.

I find fault in his dress sense, he calls me baby and sweetie all the time and its annoying.

re the teacher (and men generally) I suspect the fact that he's pulled gives him that 'I'm gods gift to women' feeling and he thinks he can do it some more.
He'll get his..
(doesnt he live with his mum?)

and welcome aboard Phoenixx :)

i have not contacted him on his new profile. Bearing in mind he was sending me valentines messages and shit. Its just annoying because i had been out and got food in, cleaned, tidyed up, arranged for DD to be picked up earlier by her dad because he said he wanted to come over early. So, i go to all that trouble, an he literally just vanished.
Yep - lives with his parents, i have heard them calling up the stairs telling him its time for dinner.
nice.

shocking and incredibly selfish way to behave watch, I'd be gutted.
I know people live with their folkes for longer these days, but I dont think it's a good thing.
There's going to be a big gap in maturity and coping with life skills between someone who lives at home and someone who's independent and has a child.
He's just a dick, probably deserves pity because when he has to stand on his own feet in the big real grown ups world he wont be able to cope when shit happens
You know you're tough and you can deal with life :)

its just odd though. He wasn the one i tried to cancel several times. Who called and persuaded me to change my mind. So - he put in all this effort before hand.

I mean, why?

either it was all about the chase, or he was just getting back at me?

Clearly he is a knob. but im still hurt.

I've had the same sort of thing happen, they put in a massive effort to get you to meet them, anytime, any place, just say the word and he'll be there and then it all changes, he becomes uber elusive
it feels like payback and I have wondered if it was the thrill of the chase, he just wants you to submit, once you do it's job done as far as he's concerned.

What is the solution?
Get in first and play the player?

You know, im sure its something like that. I mean, he was calling loads etc... He was all like ' we can just be friends, i like you, we could just hang out, no pressure' blah, blah blah.

I dont know what the solution is. I cant be arsed to play games with stupid men.

I dont know, the whole thing is making me feel alittle bit sad at the momment. I mean, ive been single forever, what the fuck is wrong with me?

nothing wrong with you
really I much prefer being single
(being celibate isnt so great)
but relationships, I find, are more trouble than they are worth

single is fine. celibate is not.
I really do love sex. Out of everything, thats the most awful thing to do without ( and im speaking frankly here)
To go from wanting sex 5 times a day, to having to go months inbetween one night of sex ( if you are lucky) for three whole years. is shit.

Id just like to find someone i want to hang out with, who i can have lots of sex with. I dont care for meals out, or meeting their friends and family.
Who would have thought this would be so fucking difficult?

Id like to join. Split up recently from ex. He dumped me. Tried to be a fwb with him but it didnt work as we slipped into our old routine of talking and then he would get upset. And he would ask me if I could handle the situation! So, I'm back on the dating roller coaster. I'm on pof and it's erm interesting. I've specified what Id like in terms of a regular one to one sessions. Self esteem is a bit hammered but I'm generally ok and think I can take the hits! This thread is great.

the problem with having a need (ie for sex) it gives the other person the power to control you.
It's hard not to be overwhelmed when sex is especially good, particularly when you've gone without for some time.
I guess men can see this quite easily.

I try really hard to be cool and not show how much it meant to me.
Of course I'd prefer to be real and genuine with someone

yeah, this is the problem i feel. I get all ' wooohhoooo i got laid' and then tripple that 'woohoo' if it was actaully any good.
So then, naturally i want it again.

Fabby, dump, he sounds like a drag.

Men love the chase, once the've got you it's often game over. A FWB situation is OK but you have to work on the friends bit. Otherwise it's just casual sex and lot's of them won't show the respect we deserve in these curcumstances.

Snape, how did it go?

'circumstances'

possible solution is to have as much very good sex with as many men as possible, that way amazing sex is just a normal thing and you can be all 'whatever' about it afterwards

tricky-ish to achieve I'll admit, but it is easier for women to get casual sex from men than vice versa

the only problem is you dont know if its going to be ' good sex' until you are in the middle of it.
Also going about it that way, id be racking up numbers like noones business, which i dont want to do.

Watch. That is horrible. It has happened to me before. The awful thing is that at no point can we predict the behaviour of these men.

yeah..I know, bloke can usually be satisfied enough with a quick shag, she's left thinking, wtf?? did I shave my legs for that

love - YES!!! you are left there like - ' what, i shaved my legs AND fucking hoovered, FOR THAT!

and you literally have no idea how its going to go until that point, you know. Its not like you can, at that point say ' please take your cock out of me, this just isnt working for me' is it.