How to kick start my relationship with my wife?

[CptCaveman]

Help mumsneters I'm a married man of over 10 years with two young boys and my relationship with my wife has evapourated! I think I switched off after the 2nd child as we both put so much into our children.

I need to put more energy into our relationship and less so into the children.

My wife says that she needs to be cherished, loved and nurchured.

What are you top 5 ways of feeling cherished, loved and nurchured?

The things that my husband do that makes me feel loved:

He gets up in the morning and makes breakfast, eggs and smoked salmon, and natural youghurt with fruit for me, and then toast with egg that the kids like, every day. Meanwhile, he empties the dishwasher. (I help the kids go through homework, and ensure their bags are packed, teeth brushed etc, before I take them to school)

He clears the table after dinner every day.

He offers me massages.
He will find something good to watch on iplayer or ilovefilm, make me a cup of green tea, bring the body lotion and give my back a lovely 30-40 minute massage. Or, he will just gently pull up my trousers and give me a foot rub while watching.

He will hug me and kiss me spontaneously.

He says "hey gorgeous" and smiles at regular basis.

He sometimes pinches my bottom then pull me in for a hug (I dont mind the politically incorrect bottom pinch ) (He never "oinks" my breasts)

He chases me out of the door to go the Zumba because he knows I want it.

He is a hands on dad, and he is not scared of housework.

CptCaveman would you mind trying the feathery stroking and let us know how it goes please? We have invested time in this now you know .

No, do the rogering thing

fairenuff i don't know if I'm brave enough!!! I'm not sure on the right technique. Is it like Bloefeld the evil mastermind from James Bond stroking his pussy cat???

I like you style AnyFucker but I'm pretty sure that may be jumping the gun! (shooting too early)

eh ?

Sorry i'm watching football at the moment!

gah

DH and I have been together for nearly thirty years and I love him deeply and without reservation because:

He is utterly unselfish in everything he does.

He is kind, affectionate, thoughtful and warm; he tells me he loves me every day

He makes me laugh

He doesn't appear to notice all my hideous bits

He has always taken an equal role in all things domestic (well, he's done more than his share to be honest )

He works so hard, but rarely complains

He is an amazing dad

He is spontaneous and always thinks about what would make me happy

He is not reluctant to apologise when we have squabbled

He is always clean, gorgeous-smelling and well-dressed

Of course, give and take is one of the most important elements - if someone does all of this for his/her partner and it is not reciprocated, then the relationship will probably falter.

Best of luck, CptCaveman. I hope to see you promoted in due course to Commodore Caveman, or Major Caveman - depending on which branch of the Armed Cave Forces you are attached to

Stay123 - menhaters? Really?!

just ignore it, biwi

some posters appear to be all over every thread looking for evidence of men hating these days

it's all in their tiny minds

There do appear to be an awful lot of them, suddenly. Do you think it is something in the water?

Perhaps they are all the same person < sharp intake of breath >

Well if so, you have to admire them. Sterling work across all those threads. They must be committing themselves 100% to MN. Such dedication!

WE are truly honoured...

AF you are too much. That post on Monday, "eh?" had me laughing out loud for 10 minutes, because it was you who wrote it.

Good for you, too, Abitwobbly.

two little letters can cause so much hilarity ?

eh ?

well, I thought we were about to be treated to the details about OP's trigger-happy willy problems for a moment, just then...

except he was distracted by the football instead

I know, I saw that. You were really trying to be helpful and sympathetic (!) , and to a man too, and then you thought he had blown it. Im still laughing, right now. Btw, I do know you are not a man hater.

It sort of reminded me of nanna being read that story in the Royle family, expect she was confused about the story in a different way.

Too funny.

Just an update AF,Fairenuff etc so went home bouyed by all the advice and gave her a big hug and kiss and said i missed her and the boys and sked her how her day was! There no problems I can do it.. and that kick started a good evening. She kind of looked at me a bit bemused but pleased. Did the washing up and put the boys to bed after doing homework etc( which I normally if I'm home early) .So generally a better atmosphere all round. No chance to try any feathery stroking Fairenuff as the footy was on and she was busy as she put it "Phaffing" upstairs!
and so a short Cuddle in bed ( I did offer a massage but was declined) before sleep.

hiya Cpt, glad you came back !

that sounds nice ...you don't want to freak her out by pinning her down and subjecting her to strange stroking practices, do you ?

< shudder >

keep it up

AF who knows everyone is different!

Doesn't sound like she wants that rogering yet does it

go easy on the rogering too

you could work up to that