how could he :(

[chocoraisin]

I've just come 'home' after staying with my parents for a month, having found out about the OW the week after NY. I'm 17 weeks pg, with an 18mo DS.

So I'm back at the place I have shared with H for nearly 4 years, and our neighbours (who are lovely and devastated on mine and DS's behalf) brought me pizza for tea to be supportive. I stupidly asked them if she had been seen here. H has sworn blind he wouldn't do anything in our home. I know I shouldn't have asked, think I was stupid enough to be looking for reassurance.

Apparently they regularly see her leaving in the morning in the month I've been away. AND heard them having sex. My neighbour could have sugar coated it, but to be fair, I asked and she was so embarrassed and upset for me I know it was one of those 'oh god she put me on the spot, crap I'll just blurt it out' moments, not said to hurt me.

We share a one bed flat. He has had sex with her in our bed. Next to our sons cot. Below our wedding photo on the wall. And she knows I'm pregnant.

How could he? Never mind what kind of a skank she must be to be ok with that. He has been texting/calling this month acting like we can be instant best friends... and perfect 'coparents'... but my trust in him is shattered. I hate the thought of being near him. I literally feel sick about having no option but to sleep in that bed tonight.

I don't know what to do :( I just need some hand holding tonight please.

To top it off, DS is exhausted but after a month away won't settle in his cot and just shrieks when I put him down so I'm looking at another long, broken night. 'Daddy' is due to visit tomorrow for his contact time.

I can't believe what's happened to my life :(

it's a bonny blue baby! [grins]

back later with a better update... DS needs some attention!

Ahhhhh. :-)

And healthy, I presume.

Huge congratulations Choco You must be thrilled and little DS will be so chuffed! makes it cheap too, as you can re-use all his old clothes [cheapskate emoticon]

Yay! Many congratulations to you - aww a little brother for your DS!
:)

Congratulations choco :)

Two the same is wonderful (I have 2 DDs 22 months apart).

Being able to pass on clothes is great [cheapskate].

Awww two little boys - how lovely.

Aw, great.

congratulations, another boy is a wonderful addition to your new little family x

Great news - I adore little boys

yes totally healthy (as far as it is possible to tell anyway) which is of course more important... but I have to admit I am really happy to know, and I knew it was a boy. Although I knew DS was a girl haha until proven completely wrong!!

thanks everyone! I'm feeling really happy, and drawing up my names shortlist as we speak

Aw congrats! My sister has two boys two years apart and they're so cute together.

Hi Choco, I can't believe how well you are doing and how sensible you are being in the face of all this non-sense (in it's proper terms)!

I don't know if this would help at all but I was crippled with PGP during my pregnancy. They said I needed crutches which would have meant I would have been unable to work. They offered me acupuncture ( with a physio) which I had once a week. It was miraculous! Didn't stop it completely but I could walk and cuddle my toddler and just function. Just a thought as it may see you through the next 20 weeks! Best of luck.

Another boy! How lovely! Congrats Choco

Congrats, choco ! a whole new life has begun for you

Congrats Choco! Two wee boys to cuddle and wrestle, brilliant fun. Glad the bean is doing well and lurking daily to see how you are doing and cheering you on.

Congratulations Choco, you and your duo of boys are going to have so much fun together.

Congratulations - you are a clever Mummy!!

thank you, thank you all! I do feel particularly close to bump right now :) and more than a little smug that I called the gender right and H didn't. HA. Stupid I know, but still!!

Now I can crack on with decorating a lovely Breton themed nursery for them both, red white and blue bunting, sail boats etc. Fun, fun, fun! Right - any boy names please? Cast your vote now, I'll get through at least 20 before I pick one for keeps :)

CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!!!!!

Hello ChocoBabyBoy :) x

Hi Choco glad to hear all is well from your scan and you having a bonny boy on the way

You sound on great form today x

Elouan?

(It's Breton, to go with the nursery :o)

Been lurking and watching this thread - sorry I haven't posted earlier, but choco you are truly an amazing woman. I have gone all teary reading the last couple of pages . I wish you, your DS and your little baby boy bump all the best.

Choco, you have inspired me. I am 2 weeks into a break up of 15 years. He went to work saying he loved me and never came home. He denies having an OW but it is more and more obvious that this is the case.

He has gone from a loving caring dp to someone who has totally switched off and is so uncaring it takes my breath away with each new act of cruelty.

I had a very bad day today and lost it with him I am so ashamed that I didn't keep my cool with him as it got me nowhere. Someone said to read your thread and you are amazing I have to see him tomorrow and I will be thinking of all your wise words during that time.

I am still in a lot of pain it feels like a physical pain, the week before he went was my gran's funeral and he told me that was when he realised he didn't want to be with me anymore, while I was sat holding his hand and sobbing at a funeral! These kind of men must be wired up wrong or something :(.

Thankyou so much for helping me to be strong.

I am sorry about your gran, comew

and the fact that your H is an arsehole of the highest order

good luck tomorrow x

Thankyou AF.

Yann is a good Breton name too... :) seriously, we need a theme here.

comewhinewithme I just saw your post.... There are no words. I am so sorry.