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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Big fight with DP, still a little shaken

345 replies

SoggyGingerBiscuit · 16/01/2012 11:30

I'll try and shorten a long story but basically saturday night DP and I ended up arguining as I'd arranged to go out with friends and he was looking forward to spending the child-free evening with me. I didn't realise he was looking forward to it or I wouldn't have booked it but by then it was too late to cancel my plans so we argued over it before finally he stormed out and went to the gym.

He came back around 6pm and the children had gone by this time (to their dad) and he asked if I'd reconsidered the evening. I said I hadn't and was still going and it erupted into another argument where he said I was selfish and never think about him and he's always bottom of my list of priorities (untrue) so anyway he walked over to me and shouted in my face "Do you the fuck you want, you always do anyway". So I told him I wasn't discussing it further with him until he'd calmed down. He then grabbed me by the arm and dragged me from the kitchen into the living room saying "go on then, fuck off, go and get ready, less I see of you right now the better anyway" etc. and he was really hurting my arm and in panic I lashed out and hit him in the face.

We both stopped, I was mortified and gobsmacked and he just looked at me. I said I was sorry and hadn't mean to actually hit him and he stormed up to me forcing me to back into the wall (although he didn't actually touch me) and snarled at me "don't ever hit me again". I've never seen him so angry and close to losing control and was actually quite frightened, he's a big bloke (6ft 4) and it was intimidating. he said then "do you understand?" I nodded and he said "get out of my fucking sight" so I went upstairs. Had a good cry, came down about 20 minutes later to apologise again and explained that I hadn't meant to hit him, it was a reflect and he said "well lets hope I don't start getting mad reflexes then". I got a bit cross because the fact that he'd dragged me around by arm before this seemed to have been forgotten so I said "you're not 100% innocent in this either" and he absolutely lost it and started saying stuff like "so I take it it's ok for us to hit each other when we're pissed off then?" he then grabbed me, knocked me onto the sofa and pinned me down and raised his fist as if he was going to punch me in the face. I screamed and begged him to stop. He got off me and I ran upstairs. He came up a few minutes later and I screamed at him to leave me alone and he said he was so sorry and had gone too far and that he'd never hurt me.

Anyway long story short I was just so glad it had all stopped I let him hug me and we 'kissed and made up' but I cant let it go. I was so frightened when he did that and its made me wonder how far hed go. I admit I should never have hit him, I know that so I kind of feel that I can't play little miss innocent on it all either. Is it just a 50/50 thing that I should accept and move on from?

OP posts:
BearWith · 16/01/2012 12:20

Get out. He's dangerous.

AnyFucker · 16/01/2012 12:21

You are making excuses for a violent man

A man not averse to dragging you around the house and pinning you against the wall to make a point

He has crossed a line

An apology is not enough, they all apologise afterwards

You would be well-advised to leave this relationship right now

I don't think you will though, not yet

It will probably take 9 more incidences of violence before you accept you are in an abusive relationship (or whatever the average numbr of incidents is, these days)

You should think very carefully about whether you want to lead that sort of life

AnyFucker · 16/01/2012 12:22

...and be that sort of miserable statistic Sad

He is responsible for the behaviour he has displayed. Your job now is to listen to that.

OrmIrian · 16/01/2012 12:24

That sounds dreadful.

No excuse for hitting of course. None. But it sounds to me as if he was the threatening one.

I would be wary of staying with anyone who could lose it that badly.

BTW I find people whingeing that they are bottom of the food chain when it comes to attention just a bit pathetic. He's a grown man not a baby.

singingprincess · 16/01/2012 12:24

And another statistic for you.....two women every week are killed by men like this.

Two women every week are killed by men like this.

There is always a history of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse first.

That's two women EVERY week!

CailinDana · 16/01/2012 12:25

You seem to think you deserved it OP, at least that's the feeling I'm getting from your posts. You never ever deserve to be pulled around the place by another person, never. I think slapping someone who is pulling you by the arm is quite a normal reaction - what else were you supposed to do? Then, after you hit him, you apologised and instead of saying "Oh I'm so sorry too, what twats we are" he intimidated you, threatened you (which is what the "do you understand" was -a threat), made you cry and told you to fuck off. Then you came back down 20 minutes later, so plenty of time for him to cool off, to apologise AGAIN, and yet again, instead of saying sorry he threatened you, and physically assaulted you.

This was not a one-off blow up, not by a long shot. He assaulted you three separate times in the space of an hour and threatened you more than once. He understands his physical power over you and is quite willing to use it if it suits him. If you stay with him, he will definitely do this again, I would put money on it.

Genuinely caring partners never ever hurt each other, not even with words. In ten years I've never called my DH a single name, or ever told him to fuck off - I love him and that would upset him so why would I do it? He has never even got cross with me. You should never ever feel afraid of your partner.

wannaBe · 16/01/2012 12:27

I don't think it's as black and white as "he's an abusive arsehole, get out now," tbh. And as much as I realize that is going to make me unpopular, ...

Firstly, violence is wrong - that is not in dispute here. Equally wanting to go out with your friends is not wrong. But let's look at everything separately...

You said that he'd said he wanted to spend a child-free evening with you and that he was going to cook/buy wine etc. That's not wrong, is it? If you'd not wanted to do so you could have surely said no then and that you wanted to go out this time. Except you didn't say no, you led him to believe you would rearrange the night out, and led him to believe that you were going to spend an evening with him - even to the point he had bought the wine, and then told him at the last minute that you didn't want to spend it with him and were going out with your friends. There's nothing controlling about a man wanting to spend time with his partner of an evening - especially if child-free time is rare and you are essentially still in the beginning stages of living together/him being a stepfather.

Can you imagine the response on here if someone posted "I'm really upset, we had a child-free evening this weekend and I was planning to buy some nice wine and cook a nice meal. DP said he was thinking about going out and I asked him to stay in because I wanted to spend the evening together, just the two of us. He said he would rearrange the night out, then this afternoon he suddenly said that he was still going out. I got annoyed because he always seems to put his friends first, and he knew I wanted us to spend some child-free time together. We had a big argument and I called him a fucking selfish prick." (let's remove what happened after out of the equasion and just look at that part), what do you think the response would be? "He has a right to go out with his friends, you sound very controlling."? or, "He is a wanker. He knew that you wanted to have an evening in and had said he would rearrange, and he never did. Clearly he doesn't put you first, is he always like this? What redeeming qualities does he have? He is a selfish arse."?

The argument clearly got out of hand - that is not in question. But actually, your dp wasn't in the wrong to be annoyed at you going out, and if this is the way you normally are, i.e. making commitments to him and then dropping him at the last minute, then perhaps he has good cause to feel that you never put him first and perhaps he snapped.

And you say you're the one that always pushes and pushes and pushes in an argument and he is the one that walks away. Why? Why do you push it? Why do you treat him like this?

Grabbing your arm was wrong, but equally it could be an impulse reaction if he's lost it. He shouldn't have lost it and he shouldn't have grabbed you, but eqally people do things they shouldn't in the heat of the moment. And you shouldn't have hit him - reflex reaction or not.

I don't think this is a case of him being a controlling abuser tbh. There are wrongs on both sides here and IMO you need to sit down and talk about what happened but also the context in which it happened.

bejeezus · 16/01/2012 12:27

SOGGY it doesnt matter if the arguement was your fault. It doesnt matter if he was 100% correct and you were 100% wrong on the matter of you going out with your friends vs staying home together. He can be as angry/upset as he likes about it, but it is NOT ok to behave like this

izzywhizzyswinterwarmer · 16/01/2012 12:27

Usually he's the first to walk out to go and calm down, it's me that keeps pestering him to carry on argung

From what you've written, it sounds as if you argue frequently.

Why would you want to stay in relationship that isn't harmonious?

catherinea1971 · 16/01/2012 12:28

Op, I hope you are still reading your thread. I can very much understand that you can't take it all in that maybe you don't want to believe what I and others have said, it's tough to get your head around I know.

When you went our with your friends did you tell them what had happened? My guess is you didn't as you knew that they would all have said what we have said.
So sorry it is truly a shitty situation you are in. Hope you are ok. :)

AnyFucker · 16/01/2012 12:29

Wannabe that is a brilliant example of victim-blaming you posted there

CailinDana · 16/01/2012 12:30

WannaBe - the OP's partner assaulted her three times - that's not a one-off "snapping" incident, that's prolonged rage. He pulled her by the arm, and when she apologised for slapping him he backed her against the wall. When she came down later to apologise again he pushed her onto the couch and put his fist in her face. Can you imagine watching all of that? It would make me feel sick.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 16/01/2012 12:32

The only acceptable level of violence within a relationship is NONE.

There was and remains no justification for his actions and he chose to act as he did deliberately.

This is all about power and control. Abuse is about power and control.

MistletoeAndFlump · 16/01/2012 12:32

what AF said

StickAForkInMeImDone · 16/01/2012 12:35

Princess that figure is shocking. I am sure that statistic doesn't include the women who are driven to suicide by their abusive partners either.
WannaBe ~None of what you have said gave him the right to terrorise her and threaten her.
As I said in my earlier post, if he really admits he is 100% to blame then he will definitely want to do all he can to make sure he never behaves like that again, and he will go looking for all the help possible to ensure that.

Ephiny · 16/01/2012 12:36

I agree with izzy - you've only been together 18 months, and you've already had enough heated arguments that you're able to talk about what 'usually' happens.

This really doesn't sound like a great relationship, it doesn't seem like you get on or like each other much. Yes most couples have their occasional disagreements, but not like this.

StickAForkInMeImDone · 16/01/2012 12:37

Pressed post too soon.
I have yet to know of a man who has been abusive and has admitted it, to look for help himself, to find out why he behaved the way he did and to do everything in his power to change. It just doesn't happen.
OP ask him to move out whilst you think about what to do. Again, his behaviour will tell you all you need to know.

wannaBe · 16/01/2012 12:41

he didn't back her into a wall - she said in her op that he didn't touch her. Presumably he got in her face which meant she backed into the wall but that is different.

No-one is saying what he did was right. And if it were my dh I think it would be a dealbreaker for me. but op has said that in the past she is the one that wants to keep arguing and arguing and arguing and she pushes and pushes and pushes to the point that he walks out to calm down. That doesn't sound like the behavior of a habitually violent and controlling man.

AnyFucker · 16/01/2012 12:44

there is no "in the past" in an 18month relationship

this is what it is...a relationship where he has used his greater physical strength to intimidate and threaten

CailinDana · 16/01/2012 12:44

WannaBe - I can't really believe we're nitpicking over details but the OP said "he stormed into me forcing me to back into the wall." What difference does it make if he touched her? He was still incredibly threatening and aggressive.

singingprincess · 16/01/2012 12:47

Wannabe...it sounds exactly like a violent and controlling man.

ArtexMonkey · 16/01/2012 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PattiMayor · 16/01/2012 12:49

I actually don't care what the OP did. Using violence and intimidation is never acceptable, never.

Get you and your children out, soggy. Because next time (and there will be a next time), he will hurt you

MistletoeAndFlump · 16/01/2012 12:52

Wannabe if that behaviour would be a deal breaker for you, why are you trying to persuade the OP that she shouldn't neccessarily walk away?

There are always backround arguments, circumstances and little details that some people will use to try and justify domestic violence. How proud you must be to be one of those people.

MistletoeAndFlump · 16/01/2012 12:53

And PS OP I really hope you're ok. Are you still on the thread?