Close Encounters of The Intimate Kind! Dating thread No:8

[TimeForSomeAction]

Continued from Makes post and in reply of:

Make just ask him. Why not? And of course you are going to be a bit of a mystery woman, he's only just blooming met you! Send him a message saying if he fancies unravelling a bit of the mystery then to get in touch because you would like to see him again. Be playful, be teasing, be fun, make him want you Make

I'm pleased you are having fun but I do have to ask, is all this dating costing you loads of money?? New outfits etc

i had hair extensions when i had my ' dreads' put in. they were those little plaity ones, you know the style.

Anyway, a summer of festivals, working holidays ( ridiclous concept) and camping, led me to belive it was an excellent idea. I also had short hair ( never a good idea when you have a nose the size of mine).

So, instant long hair.

One fell out at a party, in my drunken state i thought it was a snake, on my stairs, i was bloody hysterical, screaming and everything... yeah :) good times.

Ive had those clippy hair extensions to boost my own hair ( not the lenght of it, just the volume) before, and as much as i hate to say it, they are quite good.

Well I need to dye them and my own hair as they are a bit darker, then I need to layer the front two extensions as my hair is fairly short and layered so the extensions will hopefully blend better. according to my housemate I look very young with long hair! project for me to do tonight!

stay - how are they this morning?

Time 0 whats it like having your pfoprofile back up?

My sister called last night, dd is off to hers friday night. So the teacher is coming over :)

Hi watch well I unleashed the IE profile and immediately started receiving cock pics, I'm not in the mood for cock pics at the moment so hid that one again and unhid the regular one. Had a few nice messages and have been contacted by the guy I told you about, the one I really like but keeps taking his picture off. Been talking to him lot's, feeling very attracted to him then last night he admitted he is married the shit. Says his wife is emotionally abusive, he can't bear to touch her blah blah blah, and as slagging off the wife is a red flag as much as being married on a dating site is, I really need to block. Feel quite sad about it for some reason.

Good news re the teacher, you can't beat a good workout on a Friday, gives your limbs the whole weekend to recover

Hi to everyone else

Watch - the dye didnt really work! I think if I wanted them to blend better, I will have to make my own hair darker. I dont think I will be wearing them though other than for a laugh now and again, as I dont think long hair suits me at all! Was fun experimenting though! I shall stick a pic on my profile shortly if you want a laugh!

Time - What a sod :( Do you think you are feeling sad because it was a guy you thought you might have genuinely got along with? It doesnt matter what the wife is like, if he is so unhappy he should leave, not try to justify his own behaviour. You are right to block.

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed today. Got so much to organise and budget for over the next few months...my brothers birthday and my sons, then my SIL's 30th (she is also my best friend and i think its going to fall on me to organise something for her, cant see my brother doing it!), my dads birthday, my daughters birthday and my other brothers 30th! And my housemates engagement party. Oh for a quiet life. Thats what I get for coming from a big family and having one of my own!

Time what a total fucking knobber. If she is that bad he should leave, it really isn't difficult once you get past The Fear, the daft little things that stop us. I'd say exactly the same of course to a female in that situation. Sadly, I think he is probably bullshitting as it's along the lines of 'my wife doesn't understand me' that old chestnut.

Lecture him on leaving, wish him well, then block and do not feel sad about it for a second. Bullet dodged and you have avoided being used, being his next victim, etc etc. Twat.

Yes stay it's exactly that. He had got into my head and I was smiling when I thought about meeting him so yes, we had been chatting for a good while and I did think we would get along, he seemed so right. He did keep taking his photo down though, when I asked him he said it was to stop the messages when he couldn't get online. When I jokingly asked him if he was married he denied it. He told me he was a single dad to 2 teenage kids, when he had to disappear in the evening he said it was to pick his son up. He even told me he had been single for 3 years!!

I tend to agree with you lubey I think he may be bullshitting too. He has done a good job of lying so far so I can't help but think he is probably lying about his wife. I told him I couldn't get involved with him, that I will not be responsible for causing his wife pain (besides the fact that I deserve better too!) He said she won't find out who I am them added, "well, maybe your first name and where you are from" That made me wonder if he has done this before, even though he says he hasn't.

He has painted a pretty bad picture of his wife and I have given him a lecture, he says he hasn't the balls to leave and that he wants to leave with a clear conscience. I left it at that after saying having an affair meant he would never leave with a clear conscience. The Twat.

stay could you not do a joint celebration of some sort, getting everyone to chip in?

Time thats a bit crap of him, imho it's one thing being unhappy in your marriage and stumbling misguidedly into something with another person but quite another to actively go out looking for something else on a dating site. Definitely delete and block.

I'm abandoning POF for a while, I feel really quite jaded. I've swapped numbers with one guy but the more we've been texting, have realised he's actually a bit rude and although I do like a man brave enough to take the p*ss out of me, I feel he doesnt really know me so hasnt actually earned the right to do so yet iyswim? and I'm not sure I can be bothered with the others.

Besides I really need to sort out other stuff like learning to drive (and not constantly wanting to cry every time I even think about it!) and my pit of a house so it's finished in time for my birthday. stay i sympathise with your to do list - I'm willing to swap though as would far rather have the stress of arranging parties than the sheer horror of the driving test

I could never trust anything he says now sponge, I feel he was trying to trick me into having an affair, telling me he was a single dad, been separated all that time, even went into details of being a single dad to teenagers! If he is looking for an affair on a dating site then he could at least be honest about it! I would have been mortified to find out afterwards that he was married.

I saw your thread sponge where everyone was encouraging you to learn to drive, I did notice however that no one mentioned that you would also have the expense of buying and running a car. It might be worth working out the complete purchase/running costs against the cost of a taxi from the nearest point the train will get you to. Failing that, what about roller skates?

Time exactly - he has shown off his ability to lie right from the off.

He is no loss to you at all - not even as a FWB type thing, or a one nighter (I know you don't want one nighters, just demonstrating a point) where sex is involved there has to be trust. Someone who can lie or disguise what they really are so readily is just a shockingly shitty person who doesn't deserve any of your time, thoughts - nothing.

You can sort of miss and feel a bit crap about what he presented himself as - but just remember that isn't really him. Anyone can pretend to be great, especially twats who have to work doubly hard to present themselves as a reasonable human being to get anyone to even talk to them. Underneath lurks a spineless lying idiot who knows damn well what he needs to do.

Time thats a really good point - even worse than just being on the site in the first place he was being totally duplicitous making himself out to be single! However bad his relationship is I don't think that justifies him behaving like that. And if you hadnt pushed him would he have told you? Maybe only weeks/months later, or you could have ended up with a call from the wife. Awful.

I think I do have to learn to drive sometime I spend getting on for £200 a month on travel currently, the new job if I bus/train/taxi it would be about £125 per week no idea how much a car costs to run but it can;t be more than that surely?! If I did manage to do it bike-train-bike (I have my doubts!) that would be about £65 per week. But there is a possibility I might work from home occasionally

I need to learn to drive too sponge. Every time I think I can afford it something else crops up - like at the moment it's trying to bloody save for dd's braces. Hopefully I'll finally have enough at some point this year and she can get the braces done. THEN... maybe I can learn to drive? Please universe smile on me? Please?

Yep lubey you are spot on with what you say, spineless, lying idiot suits him well. What a shit though, and I was taken in by him. You are right again, I am feeling crap to have found out he isn't what he presented himself as, he made me smile damn it! And laugh! And, he made me think about the possibility of having sex again! The bastard!

sponge I didn't really push him after he denied it all those weeks a go, he sounded genuine but I did have a niggle about the photo keep disappearing. He told me last night that I seem a really nice person so he wanted to tell me he is married, that he isn't proud of it but he wanted it out there. I sort of felt that he was giving me the responsibility of deciding whether he should cheat on his wife or not. I told him yes, I am a nice person and I don't date married men, that I want one of my own not another woman's bed partner. He said we should still meet and if we became lovers then great but if we didn't then we could keep going and see where it went He wasn't listening to me was he? The Twat.

No sponge am sure running a car won't cost you that much. Might be a good idea to check out how much insurance would be though for you as a new driver as I know it's gone up a lot. Pick a car off a website then use the details to get a quote. I can drive but until I get a job I can't afford a car, if running a car is going to cost me more than a bus pass I think I will stick to public transport

He had you taken in because he worked damn hard at it Time, which makes it all the worse! Could you imagine actually sitting at a computer telling someone you were a 6ft blonde and working hard to make them believe it? or some outlandish lie about your profession? Unthinkable isn't it?!! That's what he did with the EVEN WORSE twist of decieving his wife into the bargain as well. Slimy little scumbucket. Urgh I just cannot bear liars and cheats and more so cheating liars

Yes, it is unthinkable, I couldn't even lie about being unemployed, I just avoided the question. He had me believing from what he said that the sex would have been good too, that was probably bullshit as well I hate liars too lubey but thinking about it this morning he is more than just a liar, his profile states he is separated and there is nothing in the write up to suggest he is looking for anything other than a nice relationship so in my book that makes him a con man as well as a liar. Maybe he is the abusive one in his relationship

Time you have nothing to feel shit about. He has made a fool of himself, not you. His wife could be the most horrendous person on the planet, it still doesnt give him justification to have an affair. Thats what divorce is for. You block him and move on. He turned out to be an arse hole but you are still you, lovely and deserving of a decent chap. Next! ;)

Time - at least you found out before you wasted anymore time on him - wanker!

Watch - fab news on the Teacher, hope you get lots more jelly legs :)

I've not been on here for weeks, not much to report.

I met one and as he sat told me he had a confession, yep married. So I had a lovely steak on him and then let him know after that there would be no more contact

I met up with the bodybuilder, lovely lovely man, built like a brick shit house and a great kisser but shorter than me and I'm 5'1!!! Have been humming and aarghing about him for a couple of weeks. I am shallow it would seem as if he were taller I wouldn't hesitate. But as I am in IE mode I might see him again at the weekend for more of the snogging

Hotbutdim has been a revelation. Stunning looking, fitbody and nice to talk to. On the first date he seemed a bit dim (hence the nickname) but I went around to his place last week and his place is done up lovely - all arty and very clean. Conversation was better, he was a perfect host. We ended up having amazing sex and I think I may have found a fabulous FWB - YAY. I don't think we are suited at all for a relationship but FWB is fine by me

Trying to arrange a date with another at the moment but he isn't rushing so not holding my breath

And a 27yo is trying so hard to get me to meet him - I'm 45!! I think I might just have to give in - so I will join the cougar club too

Thank you stay. I've already blocked him. No point in any further communication. Now to find a decent chap, if they really do exist!

MrsC at least I didn't get to the 'steak' stage! He did get me thinking about sex though, he awakened things, damn it!

You sound as though you are doing well on the dating front though.

Mrs C - you sound like you're having a fab time! :) well done!

time what a total fuckmuppet! grr!

2nd Date with mr distraction guy on friday. Not sure what we are doing yet...

Good news re 2nd date Snape, I'm very pleased

And yes, fuckmuppet indeed.

Loving the word 'fuckmuppet' and yes in-very-deed he is!

I think I got a bit carried away with the thought of all that bedroom action. His ability to describe was very good, and in such a nice way too, not smutty, it had my loins tingling!

At least I know they are still alive!!

Tingling loins is a good thing

I have just made two dates for tomorrow - coffee with the one not rushing at 3pm and coffee with youngun at 5.30, both in London - if I'm going in, might as well kill two birds and all that

yes MrsC, indeed, you may as well. Don't forget to update!

bodybuilder, lovely lovely man, built like a brick shit house and a great kisser but shorter than me and I'm 5'1!!!
MsC, I think I'd also be in a quandry with that situation, I mean hyper muscular and good kisser is good but that is very very short.
You can call it shallow, but I ime if there's something about someone that I find unattractive then it just puts me off and the sex doesnt really work for me.

also, how many FWB arrangements is optimal?
I have juggled 4 in the past but it was more accident than design