A few questions for you good people, if you would be so kind.
I?ve been internet dating off and on for some time, and round about the time when these threads started I met my first serious girlfriend since my divorce. So I?ve lurked here, rather than posted. Things have been going well for nearly 6 months, she?s introduced me to family and friends, and vice versa. But, early on, having told her that I had hidden my profile on the site we met on I discovered recently that she hadn?t hidden hers. She had also been logging on frequently. This was a great surprise as its completely inconsistent with her attitude to me and our relationship. Wondering what was going on and getting suspicious, I had a look on other sites and found her profile on a couple. It?s possible to get a rough idea of when she?s logged on from one but not the other.
After seeing that she?d logged in twice in a few days on what I think is her main one, I asked her about it and she denied that she was on other sites. Having told her that I had seen her profile on other sites, she then said that it was just a bit of fun, and that she was committed to the relationship with me. She refused to tell me the sites she was on, saying that if I told her the ones I had found she would remove her profile. This led me to suspect there were a few, and having been pressed to say I told her the name of the minor site. She deleted her profile from this a few days later. I think that she suspects I?m bluffing about finding her on other sites, and she?s still logging on to the main one every few days which I think she believes I don?t know about.
As I mentioned, if she was cool to me I could understand her attitude and usage of sites. But she seems very keen. She knows from our discussions that being active on the sites is a dealbreaker for me, and she seems to have sought to keep the relationship going by deleting her profile on one and not logging in on the original one we met on. But there?s still the other site she?s logging into often. So, I have two contradictory stances from her to deal with. We see each other most weekend nights and about twice during the week.
Can I ask the opinion of you good people ? am I right in thinking that she?s playing me like a fish and is having a relationship with me until someone better comes along? Or is it that she?s just having a bit of innocent fun? Is there something I?m missing? Also, am I overstepping the boundaries of good behaviour by looking to see if she?s logged in to other sites? Is this controlling behaviour by me?
If you?ve managed to get this far, well done, and any answers or other comments are appreciated.
We?re both mature, educated professionals so youthful naivety doesn?t come in to it. If it wasn?t for this issue I?d be very happy to keep the relationship going.