Close Encounters of The Intimate Kind! Dating thread No:8

[TimeForSomeAction]

Continued from Makes post and in reply of:

Make just ask him. Why not? And of course you are going to be a bit of a mystery woman, he's only just blooming met you! Send him a message saying if he fancies unravelling a bit of the mystery then to get in touch because you would like to see him again. Be playful, be teasing, be fun, make him want you Make

I'm pleased you are having fun but I do have to ask, is all this dating costing you loads of money?? New outfits etc

snape :( its really difficult. You are stuck trying to be a good friend and then trying to protect your own emotions. I dont know what to suggest, its really hard.
In the end i had to decide that my needs were more important that you know whos, even though he said he was having the worse time and ive not spoken to him for a while, i cant rememeber the last time - but you know what it took for me to get to that place.

dgq - im in two minds, ive done it before having been in the same situtation as you, but only if i can totally check that person out, and that means fb, work place etc.... and make a measured decision ( also based on the meeting) without this things i wouldnt even consider it.

zany - glad sat went ok :)

well, yesterday was interesting - see my other thread. married men are idiots. Posh married men, even worse so.

pfft, sent him a 'hi how are you text' probably better than turning up on his doorstep with a bottle of rum packet of biscuits and a doctor who dvd.

shall investigate your other thread....> > >

yeah - he then knows you are there if he needs you.

Thanks for the advice guys I was leaning towards it not being a good idea but I wasn't sure it I was just being a worry wart. I have fully checked him out and he seems to be truthful but I would always rather err on the side of caution.

Snape it sounds like a complicated situation but I can fully understand you wanting to be there for your friend

Hi, I'm new to the dating thing too, still not sure about it, have been on POF for a couple of weeks, sent 2 or 3 messages, no replies. The only ones I've received have been those 'icebreaker' things - are there any other sites that are better?

So Tapas date was lovely. We got on very well, lots of banter and laughing. I felt very at ease, and bizarrely we knew a few of the same people.

Now, I wait? Well if I don't hear, it was a lovely introduction back into the dating scene.

Running I like OKCupid. The guys on there seem to be generally quite literate and polite. And it is free too.

Pilgrim i'm glad your date went well. If you had a good time why don't you message him? Sounds like he will be in touch though.

I am on OKC too, and POF, but i find OkC to be much better than plenty of fish and the fellas on there seem nicer and less pushy where as on cupid, they dont seem so pushy, just nice and chatty. Dont really go on pof anymore, seems like a waste of time tbh. but thats just imo. I am staying on okc from now on. Maybe i just hit a couple of t**ts on pof. Not sure. x

cat :) :) :) :)

Really pleased for you Cat

I met my guy on OK Cupid, the guys on there definately seem better and have a bit more to say for themselves instead of the 'hi hun' that you get on POF although I personally didn't get as many messages on Cupid. Quality better than Quantity though :-)

I have now received a few messages from ex since I went out last week to meet him/his friends. I have told him no but if it keeps up I will be having words as I don't want to regularly see him.

PLayed bloody text tennis with XH last night, all I wanted was a simple yes I will pay for DD school trip' or 'no I won't' - sometimes he is very good at reminding me why I divorced him On a down note though my DS (11 yrs) said that he is dreading going to his Dad's tomorrow and wants to phone to come home if his Dad maked him feel like crap. When I went to work this morning he had drawn a sad face in the condensation on my car. Lots of cuddles later I think and a big dose of choc brownie & ice cream seen as I am taking them out for dinner later.

What are the best dating sites? ps I'm a cheap-skate. The idea of spending £29 per month to meet some loser with a profile pic like a guaranteed sex offender does not appeal!!

helloooooooooooooo :)

how are you all?

ive got two dates this week, One tomorrow with the teacher. I hadnt cancelled my babysitter, so i thought i might as well go.

Then one thur - althought im not to sure about that.

anyway - hope you are all ok

Is this normal?

Started talking to a guy who gave me his number last Friday, 100's of texts a day back and forth, arrangements for yesterday, phone calls, at 4.30 yesterday after already telling me he couldn't make it I've heard nothing, not a pip.

Ive tried to ring rings out so left a message, I've sent a shitty text this morning saying all he had to do was tell me the distance was too far, heard nothing back.

Why do men be full on for a whole week then just disappear? Whats the problem with them?

Vanishers fabby. They are so weird. It's not normal human behaviour, but sadly seems pretty normal for dating sites.

Lovingfreedom Okcupid is probably the best all free dating site imho

Watch good luck with your dates :o

I'm off out tonight, not a date though! Off to a one off charity west end performance thingy. VIP tickets courtesy of my lovely DD who insisted on spending all her xmas money on them (her major teen crush has a lead role )

I seem to have found myself a vanisher too. :( Never mind. plenty of others out there. Spoke to my best friend as she knows me better than anyone and she thinks i am ready to move on, but maybe i should get myself "out there" and have some fun!! Which i plan (safely) to do!

Ive deleted the POF for now.

Signed up to OKCupid answered nearly 500 questions, but Im looking for physical attraction first as surely you would do that if you were out. STill the pickings are slim

I used to be on Freedating and met someone on there who I saw for six months, might try that again.

Ive still not heard from Ray67x if anyone comes by him on POF.

I've done quite alot of 'vanishing' myself..if the truth be known

But it was so full on, why not just say sorry this is not going to work for me, why be so rude. I went out yesterday morning and spent money on the pretext of him coming to see me yesterday, money I didn't really have.

It's nuts.

it is weird!
I've never 'vanished' in such an extreme way, but usually if I dropped off one persons radar it was because I'd gotten involved with another person..another line of enquiry that I'd been pursuing seemed more promising.

Or an old flame (who could be relied on for worthwhile sex) had reappeared.

I think it's best not to have any expectations or make any assumptions based on electronic communication until you've actually met someone and got to know them.

I'd never go to any trouble or spend any money, the most I'll do is shave my legs

Vanishers are massively irritating. I ended up with 3 the other week - all of whom I'd arranged dates with. It is very odd behaviour, I do think a lot of men on dating sites have issues. And I can do better.

Was at a friends party last night, the 2 best mates of my nice Ex (aka theonewhobrokemyheart) were there. I haven't seen them for 3 years. They told me that I looked fab, and he is (for various reasons) an idiot, and should be kicking himself for letting me go. Even a year ago that would've had me in floods of tears, the fact it made me feel a bit wistful but not desperately upset I hope means that I really have moved on. And it was a good party too. No single men, but c'est la vie :)

Hate why are they so full on to start with, make grand plans then just disappear? start talking about the date after the first one. I just don't understand it but Im glad its not just me. Made me feel really shit.

Fabby, I don't know. It really is shit. My nice Ex's mates were asking me last night how on earth I was still single. I told them I was ridiculously fussy and only attract the wrong men .

Which is slightly true - and preferable to admitting that since him I've never got beyond a first date (and lately I can't even get that far).

Am really trying to convince myself it's nothing I'm doing wrong.

I'm always wary of blokes who are very full on right from the start.
I mean they hardly know me so it's not me they're being enthusiastic about, more likely some unrealistic fantasy woman