Close Encounters of The Intimate Kind! Dating thread No:8

[TimeForSomeAction]

Continued from Makes post and in reply of:

Make just ask him. Why not? And of course you are going to be a bit of a mystery woman, he's only just blooming met you! Send him a message saying if he fancies unravelling a bit of the mystery then to get in touch because you would like to see him again. Be playful, be teasing, be fun, make him want you Make

I'm pleased you are having fun but I do have to ask, is all this dating costing you loads of money?? New outfits etc

yes, because ill probably soon be posting that it was a total disaster.

Think positive!! It will be an experience, no matter what.

I'm with Time and Watch, dont want to eat with someone I just met, plus it makes me a bit cynical, they often say something like 'let me treat you to dinner' so then I'll owe them a favour wont I..

I've also found that on the first meeting they'll try to get me to accept a lift, offer to drive me home even though I've got a return train ticket, or I live 5 minutes walk away.
p'raps I'm just paranoid but it feels like a bunch of subtle little ways to manoeuvre you into a position where you might feel obligated

Good luck Watch I am glad you are feeling more comfortable with the new arrangement. I would have felt exactly the same about a dinner date, it is just strange when it is someone you don't know.

I am starting to really look forward to my date tomorrow. Anyone got any tips for my first ever internet person date?

Must admit i'm surprised by the views on a meal. Maybe i just like my food too much!

But then i've never understood people who go to the cinema on early dates. Surely the point is to chat and get to know the other person!?

To be honest right now i wouldnt care who took me out to dinner so long as it gave me an excuse to eat something other than rabbit food!

PS the point of going to the cinema on a first date is you can talk while you wait for the film and whisper through it if you get on and if you dont your watching a film so its not soooo awkward. Never been taken on a cinema date!! Maybe i should.

I went on a cinema date once. It was completely awful. Never ever again.

I struggle to think of it even as dating, as far as I'm concerned the first meeting is an interview, subsequent meetings are for the purposes of my sexual gratification
If I'm not sufficiently gratified the whole gig is off.

I have absolutely no interest in meals, drinks, walks on the beach etc etc.
I just want him to show up, give me what I want and then leave

Maybe not such a good idea after all! Dinners out then by the sounds of it, cinema is, looks like i will have to go for a drink!

Oh God, I went on a cinema date once. Met this bloke on New Years Eve in a dark pub, got on great, telephone contact every single day for a fortnight, couldn't wait to see him again. We arranged to go to the cinema to see Titanic. He picked me up at home (he was actually a really good friend of my sisters bloke) I opened the door to him and didn't recognise him!! He smiled and revealed a missing front tooth, leaned in for a kiss while I backed away. At the cinema he leaned in closer and closer while I leaned further and further away until I was almost on the lap of a 16 year old boy sat next to me. After the film he ran down the corridor waving his arms shouting "Run, run, it's sinking!" I had my hand on the door handle ready to jump out of that car before he had even pulled up outside my house!! I would never go to the cinema on a first date, ever!

Quick coffee is best, you don't need to spend money on a new outfit, go to the trouble of getting all dressed up and you can leave as soon as you have finished your drink if the company is not to your liking. If you are enjoying the date you can suggest a second drink and maybe even a slice of cake

lovesadirtylie yes, I think you have exactly the right idea

Meant to be going for coffee today. Am feeling entirely meh about it. Hetext me about 20 mins ago to check I can still make it. Do I go or not? Really in two minds tbh. He seems nice enough but I've never even spoken to him on the phone (though tbh I hate speaking to people on the phone so that's not a major issue).

To go, or not to go. Help me decide please!

Oh and did I mention he is working nights (every night) til the end of Feb...

Sponge GO!! Get your coat on and go. It's only a couple of weeks a go that you were complaining men weren't showing an interest in you and you weren't getting dates, and now here you are asking if you should go.

He might turn out to be the love of your life. Now, go and get your coat on and go. And don't forget to update as soon as you get home.

Ok Time I've text him and said yes to meeting. Better go and get ready....and of course I will return with a full update.

I have absolutely no expectations. And it will just be coffee, if he thinks anything different (I have told him several times) he is going to get a surprise...

Good! You never know, you might have a lovely time. Hey, what happened to thinking more positively? Eh? Eh?

Have fun!

Sponge, I'm exactly the same I always have to make myself go.

Some of the most worthwhile sex I've had out of this whole caper was with a man I nearly didnt turn up to meet.

Messaged him in 2009, I kept putting off meeting.
He e-mailed me out of the blue in 2010, I agreed to meet him for coffee.

On the day he hadnt texted to confirm it was still on so I concluded he wasnt going to show up.
when he texted to tell me he was there waiting for me, I hurried along and turned up very flustered.
Now I could kick myself..I should have met him immediately

sponge 'And it will just be coffee, if he thinks anything different (I have told him several times) he is going to get a surprise...'

on this subject I really wish the men would not try and push for some sort of advance agreement that we will shag them there and then (obviously not in the coffee shop tho ) if we fancy them.

When they do that I'm with you, I make it very clear it's just not on the menu.
So then, even if I really fancy him and would like to invite him back to mine straight away, I cant because I'll look like a pushover if I dont stick to my guns.

In practise I usually feel far to flustered and confused to make that sort of decision.
It mostly feels as if I have a little elf sitting on each shoulder, one is shouting
'DO YOU WANT TO FUCK HIM??? YES OR NO??'
the other keeps muttering
'say something, say something, he thinks you're an idiot'
I'm in the middle trying to think straight

We are supposed to be meeting at 4. However he has just text and asked 'So what happens if we get on and like each other?'

to me that seemed like a hint towards getting sex . Which I said to him before would not be happening today.

So I have replied and said if we get on, surely we'll see each other again and what was he expecting to happen?

It's easy to get the wrong end of the stick by text I know but I think he may now cancel on me if he thinks sex definitely isn't on the agenda.

sponge, I agree it does sound as if he's trying to get an advance agreement.
If he does cancel then I think you're well rid of him!

this has happened to me a few times, it's annoying but it saves time if you can draw them out and get them to show their hand early on

loves am lolling at your conflicting elves (elfs?)

He says it's ok, I've said again that today is just a coffee and no more.

Will be back around 6ish to update. Assuming he turns up - otherwise I might be back a bit earlier!

he he, I'm not sure if gnomes or demons is more apt than elves/elfs :)

perhaps I'm being unfair..perhaps the poor guy just wants to know whats expected of him.

It would be handy if a few men could join in the thread and give some insight?
( if they can cope with being shot down as soon as they open their mouths )

Male view:

He's obviously not the sharpest tool in the box to come out with that sort of question! There's only one way it can be construed!

Thanks Sparks:)I guess it's not the sort of thing a sensible polite sort of bloke would say is it!