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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AF - the check out the menz thread as promised!

184 replies

SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 10:06

Firstly, I have only been on 2 dating sites for just over a week. These are the 5 men who I am talking to. All other unsuitable/disinterested advances blocked and deleted.

I have: Not used my real name; not volunteered any information, apart from what is on my profile, until they have; read all their profiles very carefully. My profile only states that I have 2 children, and am divorced with a good relationship with my ex. Nothing else about my family life.

Mr Finance - Director of finance company. has asked me for coffee next week. I have moved it back to after the New Year. Masses in common - we grew up in the same area and his ex comes from the same large village I grew up in. Very similar likes, very easy to talk to. Talks a lot about his children, who are similar ages to mine, has good relationship with ex wife. He makes me laugh.I'd stress that he has volunteered all this information first, and there is nothing in my profile that would enable him to 'fish' for this information on the internet. My only flag is that he is very keen and messages a lot. Gave me his number day before yesterday, I have not used it yet. Not exchanged email yet. Number 3 on the list.

Mr Planes - avionics engineer. Has also asked me for coffee next week, again I have rearranged for the New Year. Again, a lot in common, but not as much as Mr Finance. Comes across as very dependable and serious. I like him, and he is Number 4 on the list. Not exchanged phone number yet, or email.

Mr Snow - Owns construction company, makes ski slopes amongst other things. I really like him, he seems kind and funny and volunteered a lot of information about his life and his family. Masses of photos, of him but also ones he has taken of where he lives. Not exchanged numbers/emails. Messages long and chatty, messages at least once a day. Very similar interests and outlooks on life. Number 2 on list.

Mr A bit Mysterious - has no photo on his profile as he does not want to be identified. Know his name though. Hysterically funny, never married, good job in management. I know the least about this one, he is far more wary than the others. Lack of photo makes me Xmas Hmm but it is early days. Last on list for photo reasons.

Mr Army Officer - I have serious hots for this one. Again wary, divorced 2 years, talks a lot about his daughter. A lot of information on his profile, and a lot of photos. He comes across as very genuine and is very proud of his job. Well travelled, well educated, very much my type. Number 1 on list - I could do very bad things to him. Xmas Blush

Questions, critiques, and opinions sought, and very much appreciated.

OP posts:
PeppermintParsonsNose · 23/12/2011 10:12

Nothing particularly useful to say-just that I take my hat off to you-I could never do this stuff, having dabbled a bit when briefly single. How do you get over that feeling of, erm, what do I mean exactly, that feeling of "exposure" of oneself on t'internet, even allowing for the fact that you're not revealing much? I think I felt sort of invaded when I got messages from people, weirdos or not.

Anyway, that aside, I like your system. How much contact(emails etc) have you had with the Army one?

SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 10:15

Six messages from the Army one. He was funny and amusing right from the outset, and I do really fancy him physically. Physically, Mr Snow is also right up my street.

I 'click' most mentally with Mr Finance.

OP posts:
LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 23/12/2011 10:15

Wow, you seem to have rich pickings there Sarah Xmas Grin
I wish you could send photos.
Which one is the most fanciable?

SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 10:18

Fanciable:

Mr Army
Mr Snow
Mr Finance
Mr Planes

In that order. Although physically I do like all 4 of them. Mentally, I like Mr Finance and Mr Mysterious, but I am not including him as I am most wary of him due to lack of photo. He has promised photos in email, but neither of us have got to that stage yet, which is fair enough.

OP posts:
SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 10:20

LB - on one site, I've had 107 messages, 86 'flirts' and 98 'admirers'. There's certainly plenty of men out there, just most of them fall way, way below the mark.

The other site is slower, but I prefer the men on there. 3 of them are from that one, 2 from the first.

OP posts:
NunTheWiser · 23/12/2011 10:20

Nowt wrong with meeting up with them all and seeing how things are rearraged from there.

SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 10:21

And I must go and do some housework, my parents are popping in later. Xmas Confused

OP posts:
PeppermintParsonsNose · 23/12/2011 10:23

I see a new set of Mr Men books on the horizon Xmas Grin

LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 23/12/2011 10:25

I agree with Nun, aren't you going to have a fun 2012.
And then you can post all the details for us to read.

PieCherry · 23/12/2011 10:39

I'd have coffee with all of them (not at the same time of course).

I found that the ones I fancied virtually didn't really hit the mark in reality. Until the last one I met - and we get married next week!!

Good Luck

xxx

SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 12:01

Oh wow Pie, congratulations, and that is encouraging!

OP posts:
Hullygully · 23/12/2011 12:14

checking in. will check out the menz anon

Pinot · 23/12/2011 12:23

It is totes the Army man for me please The fact that he talks about his daughter (tick) is open on his profile (tick) and is a hero (sex tick) YUMMY.

The others are nice too.

FWIW I think tinternet dating is a hugely brill idea - and so common nowadays. My bestest make buddy met his other half and were married within 18mths, now have a son. He was always a top bloke just never found 'the one' until he actually set about seriously looking. I love the ease and security of it and wave my pompoms at you for jumping in Stratters.

Have I mentioned you woz robbed in the Xmas NC compo.

Punkatheart · 23/12/2011 13:27

Good luck but be very aware that there is a major scam going around dating websites with handsome men purporting to be army officers. My mother got caught out but thankfully did not part with any money. They will be keen and then ask to talk to you on MSN.

Yes, you are brave and I hope that you meet someone lovely.

SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 14:12

Thank you Punk, I will be very wary and appreciate the heads up.

I woz, wasn't I Pinot

OP posts:
colditz · 23/12/2011 14:19

I wuold go with Mr Finance or Mr Snow. Mr Mysterious is too secretive
for me, and reading between the lines, Mr Planes sounds dull. Mr Arrmy Officer vcould be nice, but then you may have to dealwith Army life further down the line and it's not fun

BecauseImperfect · 23/12/2011 14:33

An army officer with a very open profile and lots of pictures? I hate to rain on your parade, but I'd be careful as above.

He obviously isn't that switched on. That's a massive no-no especially for officers. Too much open access about their private lives is a security risk. He should know that.

SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 15:26

It's more information about what he likes doing, his family, that sort of thing. There's no information about where he lives apart from the name of the (large) city he lives in/near. No information about what he actually does in the Army, I guessed officer as he is very well educated, and that comes across in his messages. He's the only one that hasn't made a spelling mistake so far. He's not a Nigerian scammer unless he has someone who has perfect English sitting on his lap typing for him.

He told me he was an officer 3rd message in.

I have given out absolutely no financial information whatsoever, and you shouldn't be able to tell from my profile what income bracket I'm in. Which isn't that great anyway. Xmas Confused Army life doesn't scare me, my family background is Forces.

Mr Planes definitely isn't dull, he is quite witty.

OP posts:
Pinot · 23/12/2011 15:27

Ohhhhh dya all really think he's not a dashing Officer in the style of Rupert C-B? Bollocks.

It is not a surprise to me at all that I chose the dodgiest one :o

Trust nae fucker, Stratters.

SantasStrapon · 23/12/2011 15:29

I wish I could link them all on here, but that would be a massive breach of trust, and I am not going to do that. I do wish you could all 'vet' them all, though.

Maybe local Mumsnetters could stake out the cafe, when I go and have coffee with them?

OP posts:
myfriendflicka · 23/12/2011 15:36

Army officers are not well educated. I used to know one who got into Sandhurst with very low A level grades - and he was one of the brightest!

I have met quite a few of them and they tend to be (unsurprisingly!) good at talking themselves up.

What a lot of conventional little bunnies you are

Cankulzof · 23/12/2011 15:41

Officer Handsome would be my choice based solely on coming first in the spelling bee.

PS I met DH on a Menz-r-us site Xmas Wink

LadyBeagleBaublesAndBells · 23/12/2011 15:46

There was a thread not that long ago about a scam with Army Officers, I seem to remember.
You're far too smart and cynical to be taken in by anybody though, so if you like him it won't do any harm to take it further and see what happens.
It seems like you've got lots of lovely choices though, so take your time and, most importantly have fun while you're doing it.Xmas Grin

MistletoeAndFlump · 23/12/2011 15:47

Is it just me wondering what such elegible sounding men are doing on a dating site?

Sorry to be a Christmas grump....

Hullygully · 23/12/2011 15:47

You really will have to meet them all and report back to see. Impossible to judge through the screen.

What larks you will have!