Just found a condom wrapper

[KissMyShineyRedA]

I'm freaking out. As some of you know my DP went on a business trip. He borrowed my bag for hand luggage. I've just found the corner piece of a condom wrapper. I don't know what to do. I need to ask him face-to-face. Is there any way this could be innocent?! Help

And let's face it - nobody ever drops something in someone else's bag, do they? Really? IF he shared with another person and IF that other person happened to have a condom wrapper with him (why?) then what are the chances of that condom wrapper moving from one person's bag to another's?

OP, I'm sorry, but it's not looking good.

oh please "I'm quite difficult"

do you think he is currently posting on an anonymous website asking for the support of strangers, and making himself feel ill with anxiety ?

why do women look for reasons to call themselves crap ?

he is crap

not you

I know I don't deserve this

Read the whole thread, very sorry you're feeling so crap. Do let us know how it goes

If you confront him, he will probably lie. If he wants the relationship to continue, he will lie. He might even lie well. Or at least well enough for you not to be sure. In your heart of hearts, what do you think?

OP, I think it's more that this ties in with him wanting space when he came back.

Throughout my long relationship with my ex husband, I was on tenterhooks wondering whether he was unfaithful. It's no way to live.

My sister found a condom wrapper amongst her BF's stuff. He denied it for ages and ages and then finally admitted it and said "I used a condom and you know I hate them", all defensive, like that made it less cheating and a considerate act!

AND, AND - she took him back! He was drunk, the other woman (who was of course a slag, yeah), was coming onto him, he tried to say no but she turned up at his hotel door and DSis wasn't being attentive enough and he was stressed with work blah blah BLAH.

She spiralled into a really dark time as a result. Look after yourself, OP. His reaction will tell you a lot about how he feels about you as a person.

....and about women in general

There was a thread on here some time back

Quite a famous one "the condom in the washbag"

That ended badly AFAIK

I might actually smash his face into a million pieces.

No, I wouldn't. I will be calm and dignified and tell him to leave.

I love him so much, missed him so much when he was gone. He was messaging me the night he was leaving to say he'd missed me and couldn't wait to get back to me. Then he wanted space and couldn't get it up

I think you look for more evidence and then make a decision. Asking someone you don't trust for reassurance is a waste of time. Don't move in with him just yet. Remind him of his need for space, say you feel the same. And watch like a hawk.

What are the circumstances of your planned move-in together ?

Does it involve you giving up your place...?

or him ?

I wouldn't allow either of those scenarios, tbh

Watch out for "I was freaking out about committing to you fully, because I am a fragile damaged person really, and I hate myself now and hated every second of shagging her, so that's proof you are the girl for me and I'll never do it again", too.

I'm living at home. He'll be paying the rent and I'll pay bills etc as I work part time

So you could go back home at any time ?

I still wouldn't move in with him though

will his sister be living with you too ?

I'm just going to ask him outright. If he's any sort of decent human being he'll at least tell me the truth. I'll find out one way or another. I will not let any man treat me like this. I will not end up like my mother

Good for you x

Good luck, OP.

Yes I could go home anytime, no his sister won't. He seems to have been really excited about it. I know some people were saying maybe he's got cold feet. He's always needed his own space from time to time, even from friends.

Thank you all for holding my hand through this. I appreciate the advice, however honest. I prefer that

He fucked someone else.

100%

don't be a mug OP

I admire your bravery, but do remember that research shows more than three quarters of cheaters will deny being unfaithful to the hilt when asked. It's not abnormal, it's the 'normal' response. Don't let yourself be made to feel mad.

You have unusually strong proof, as well as all the behaviour that's so typical. He's more likely to tell you if you say it as a statement: 'I know you've slept with someone else' than if you ask. Asking it in question form puts the burden on the man to 'protect' you by lying. Ha.

I most definitely am not a mug

He will be the mug if he loses this amazing woman who enhanced his life