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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Just found a condom wrapper

582 replies

KissMyShineyRedA · 20/12/2011 14:54

I'm freaking out. As some of you know my DP went on a business trip. He borrowed my bag for hand luggage. I've just found the corner piece of a condom wrapper. I don't know what to do. I need to ask him face-to-face. Is there any way this could be innocent?! Help

OP posts:
BecauseImperfect · 21/12/2011 12:24

Here. I'll leave this target here Biscuit throw your abuse at it, get those flushes out of your system.

As you'll all jump on the bandwagon now as it's too easy when there is more than one.

In the mean time, I've given my opinion, so don't care. I have a family, a husband and friends. Youth and looks. Seems most of you are missing all of the above. Keep posting on MN all day, Keyboard warrior style.

Merry Christmas.

SaraBellumHertz · 21/12/2011 12:24

Becauseimperfect I'm assuming most people who have to share a room would not choose that ocassion to have a wank. Posh or otherwise.

KatAndKit · 21/12/2011 12:25

If he was sharing a room, surely no condom action from either room sharer would have been going on? Would have been hard for the other person to get any while he was there. Unless he is having a gay affair with a colleague?

I'm sure that there might be some men who do this weird posh wank thing.But the OP has stated that he hates condoms, so I doubt it applies in this case.

PeppermintPasty · 21/12/2011 12:28

The poster doth protest too much methinks.

Must be Miss Havisham.

Saturdaynightbeaver · 21/12/2011 12:33

"I have a family, a husband and friends. Youth and looks. Seems most of you are missing all of the above" Does this "family" include children Becauseimperfect?

ImperialBlether · 21/12/2011 12:35

Oooh, interesting, Saturdaynightbeaver.

PigeonStreet · 21/12/2011 12:37

Oh please stop sniping everyone, I'm getting a bit fed up with threads that totally deviate from the OP.

As you were

Saturdaynightbeaver · 21/12/2011 12:38

Well there's an achilles heel somewhere. She's done the psycho analysis on many posters - thought I'd have a go back

Saturdaynightbeaver · 21/12/2011 12:39

The OP knows where the support is PigeonStreet and I'm not too keen on it being boycotted either

PeppermintPasty · 21/12/2011 12:44

psycho being the operative word Saturdaynightbeaver...

And Pigeon, we really are supporting the OP. It's just a bloody pain sometimes when people hop on with nasty little agendas and huge chips on their shoulders.

ameliagrey · 21/12/2011 12:45

The room share- even if it happened and I doubt it- is a red herring.

No- totally silly.

I cannot believe that even IF there was a roomshare, the other person would chance having sex ( with a stranger) when the room was shared with a colleague, and that DP's bag was lying open next to the bed for rubbish to be dropped into. so knock this one on the head.

OP I suspect that your P will rage and deny. if you simply ask "How did this get into the bag" he will say he has no idea. You won't get very far.

I suggest that you say that something has come to light which makes you think he was unfaithful when he was away.

Then see what he says and does.

PigeonStreet · 21/12/2011 12:47

I agree Peppermint, that is who I was talking about really but we need to just leave them and their daft agendas alone and not start a fight imo.

PeppermintPasty · 21/12/2011 12:51

Yes, you're right. Xmas Smile

Saturdaynightbeaver · 21/12/2011 12:51

Wides words Pigeon

OliNIvy · 21/12/2011 12:54

The facts are screaming 'he slept with a prostitute' to me.

So sorry, OP. Hope you get to the bottom of this.

Saturdaynightbeaver · 21/12/2011 12:56

wise words

Kyte · 21/12/2011 13:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatAndKit · 21/12/2011 13:04

If you were a business person and you were having an illicit shag you would surely be able to fork out for your own room? It's not like students where there is no choice.

Anyway, this debate is pointless. we can be 99% sure that this condom was used by the OPs partner to have sex with another woman in the hotel room. Inventing all sorts of possible alternative unlikely scenarios is not necessary.

She needs to ask him straight out if he has been unfaithful and see what sort of answer she gets. If he says no, then ask about the condom wrapper and see what sort of shit excuse he comes up with.

dreamingbohemian · 21/12/2011 13:06

I'm also ignoring dramalina, but just in case it puts a sliver of doubt in the OP's mind -- Kiss, I hope you know we're not all a bunch of bitter old hags with agendas Hmm I've never been cheated on (that I know of!) I have no axe to grind, I just think it doesn't look good and I'm sorry you have to go through this.

I hope you are getting some answers right now.

SootySweepandSue · 21/12/2011 13:08

I think he may have spent the night in the OW room, even if he was sharing. My old company would always ask for people to share and most of the women refused unless they had a very close friend at work.

I wouldn't turn detective on him, you will drive yourself crazy. If it is a work colleague I imagine the communication is via work email. I would ask outright if he's cheating and gauge the reaction, not necessarily mentioning the condom.

Hope it's not that though. What a shitty time for you just before Christmas.

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 13:17

I've just finished work early, was probably putting customers off with my long face staring into space. Just texted to ask what he's up to and to come over

OP posts:
Kyte · 21/12/2011 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
KissMyShineyRedA · 21/12/2011 13:21

He usually comes over in the evening but I can't wait until then, I'll go crazy. But if I say I need to see you now, it may make him suspicious

OP posts:
Seabright · 21/12/2011 13:21

Just a quick thought -are durex sold in the US? (I think is was USA where he went)

smellsofreindeersick · 21/12/2011 13:24

Hope all goes well for you OP. I've been lurking a bit but the advice you've had on here (for the most part) is sound. There's no good time to ask this sort of thing but the more it plays on your mind, the more you'll drive yourself crazy.

Report back and let them help you analyse his response BUT ultimately this is down to you to decide upon.