How would you feel if your DH said this to you?

[nonglamorous]

Took H to the airport for a business trip a few weeks ago so dc could say goodbye to him at airport. When we got there he seemed edgy and anxious to brush me off, we had come all the way but he wanted us to leave him in the car park rather than actually come and wave him off. Kids wanted to go with him so I said we would come all the way in, he clearly was not happy. As we entered the terminal we saw a work colleague of his, H introduced us but couldn't get away quick enough, barely looked at me when he said goodbye, no hug.

Background, things are not good between us anyway and havent been for a long time but we keep trying for dc and do have some laughs and good times still, certainly I thought there was something there to keep working on.

Anyway he has been gone for a couple of weeks I was very hurt by his attitude at the airport and havent spoken to him much but when we did I was normal. Today I mentioned that I thought he had been embarassed by me at the airport and he said "well you should have put some make up and done your hair". Now firstly I didnt know I would be meeting a work colleague of his and I was hardly a scruffbag, had jeans, converse and a Berghause fleece (new) not old and nasty one and my hair is nicely horribly expensively highlighted, although in a pony tail that day and I basically looked like I do on a day to day basis. I just feel gutted, I really do, he is clearly still annoyed by it two weeks later, angry with me for not making an "effort" or maybe more angry that I brought it up, but his explanation was certainly angry iyswim.

So basically he was trying to avoid me meeting his work colleague and was so embarrassed when I did that he couldn't even say goodbye to me. Btw I am five years older than him and have occasionally felt in the past that this is a bit of a problem, have been excluded from meeting certain friends and days out etc where a couple would be expected to go.

So what do you think?

Why thank you :-)
Still waiting to see why everyone on netmums slagged MN off so much!
Can't see it myself

I went to Netmums once

once

Not loving it then breast or leg :-) ?

Not really

It was the "oh, that's just men for you, they are useless at childcare/shopping/cooking/cleaning/being a halfway decent person and it would be best if you ran yourself into the ground doing it all becuase he needs looking after"

or some such bollox

you see that attitude on here very occasionally, but it gets stamped on from a great height, immediately

I went to netmums once too (when I was banned from here). It didn't suit me. hun. And the website gave me tinnitus.

IMO you get the answers you need here, not always the answers you want.

That "the serious stuff" section on NM is pretty though, I sometimes pop over there for a good nose, never posted though.

Poor you that's an awful thing for him to say and I'd have been in tears I know I would.

I can't offer advice, I'd probably go cold on him for a while which probably isn't the right thing to do, but it's how I emotionally react.

I hope you can sort it out.

Yeah I noticed on another thread earlier where her hubby was cheating and 1 lady said to sexy herself up and stop moaning as men have needs....dickhead

oh, yes

that poster is a crazy person

TBF sexying herself up isn't bad advice - afterall she might be thinking about dating soon!

well yes, but not for him

Yeah exactly.
Some people!
Well loving it here so far!

I think NetMums is lovely. A fabulous place. Where would we be without it?

Answer: over-run by flaming huns, tickers, 'its been 24567 days since my last poo-poo'

I dont really get why they dislike it here.
You're very right however about the huns tickers etc and eating in trouble for saying boo to people is always fun :-)

he he he! They don't like it cos we don't like txtspk, or bubba, or bad spelling! Oh and the swearing.... We don't tolerate apologist comments WRT men pulling their weight.

We DO get threads here that try it, but as AF says, we round on that fairly fast.

MN is the bestest place in the world EVA!

Lurker here - we're derailing the OP's thread a bit, aren't we? But she has had fantastic advice here AF I bow to you as always!

MN rocks.

You are absolutely right to feel very hurt. Who wuldn't? You mention things haven't been very good between you. Have you tried to talk and find out what exactly is the problem and the reason he avoids introducing you to his colleagues/friends? I think an open talk to bring everything out might help you understand his behaviour so that you can make your own decisions. Try not to let his behaviour make you doubt yourself and affect your confidence. You should be confident in yourself and the way you look and don't give him the slightest opportunity to think that you have doubts about yourself so his behaviour is justified. I understand you try to keep it together for the children, but how good is for them to see you getting hurt by the way their father treats you? It is a very difficult situation you are in but you have to think what is best for both your children and yourself.

HOw are you OP? Your thread seems to have meandered away from the topic, which is unforuntate considering what you are facing at present, the seirousness of it. I hope you feel able to come back on, either here or on another thread? wishing you well.

What an ass .....