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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I get over sexting unfaithfulness?

163 replies

JackMatthias · 15/12/2011 11:16

This flows out of the thread I started here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1359455--to-treat-DWs-sexting-as-infidelity , where we are talking about the rights and wrongs of sexting. I'm starting this new thread here under advice, basically after further advice about 'where do we go from here?'

Any thoughts?

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JackMatthias · 19/12/2011 10:25

Sorry 'bout last night; am sober now albeit with monster hangover! I guess there will be a few of these emotional dambursts as I come to terms with what has happened but hopefully fewer and further between as time goes on.

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UnexpectedOrangeInMyStocking · 19/12/2011 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife · 19/12/2011 12:44

Jack, I'm Sat here in tears reading this, your pain is palpable. I know how you are feeling, DH has been exchanging a few too many texts with a young girl at his work. I haven't seen any of an overtly sexual manner but professional boundaries have definitely been crossed. I still have to deal with them working together on a daily basis and after work Christmas drinks with all staff (I hope) tomorrow.
The whole situation has left me (and you by the sounds of it) emotionally exhausted, insecure and rather desperate. I am going to see a therapist recommended by a friend on Wednesday to try phycho-hypnotherapy to help with my self esteem and confidence issues. When I am stronger again myself I can once again evaluate our relationship to see if it is fair, loving and trustworthy. Only then do I feel I can make big decisions about the future.
My point being, maybe you can seek some therapy of your own to make sense of your feelings and to try and deal with them. Take care.

JackMatthias · 19/12/2011 13:02

Thanks. Yeah, I certainly feel totally washed-out today.

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paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife · 19/12/2011 13:19

Totally get that feeling. We can washed out MNers together. Keep posting here rather than keeping it all in. I think I may need to start my own support thread leading up to tomorrow nights festive drinks.Sad

misty0 · 19/12/2011 13:26

Look after yourself Jack.

Please dont drown in a bottle too often, if you can help it. I know it may seem like an anesthetic at the time, but its not an answer. It can be a trap.

Have you a good friend with whom you can spend an evening/afternoon and chill out with for a few hours while you're giving her the space she wants?

You sound emotionally drained at the moment. ((hugs))

JackMatthias · 19/12/2011 15:31

It is just a one-off, I can assure you (haven't done that sort fo thing for years and kind of scared myself that I did it last night; just cracked I guess). You're quite right, I have emotionally flat-lined today Sad

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misty0 · 19/12/2011 18:02

Perhaps the only way is up then now ay? That would be good.

I hope you can find some inner strength which is not governed by how she is behaving towards you on a day to day basis. You're feeling fragile and you need to heal a little. I know you want to mend everything and be all back to normal but please go easy on yourself.

You've got a good heart by the sounds if it Jack. Remind yourself she has to win you back to some extent too.

How have things been between the two of you today?

mynewpassion · 19/12/2011 20:29

misty is right. She has to win you back. She has to gain your trust again.

I almost wish you wouldn't "brighten up her life."

Hopefully, your Relate sessions can help you guys map out a working plan to rebuild your relationship. If its a while before the session, maybe you guys can begin to discuss such a plan where there needs to be goals, expectations, and rewards and consequences.

JackMatthias · 19/12/2011 22:48

Misty0, today has been pretty grim. She is very PND-y ATM so I am worried that she might crack (never mind about me!) so I have to try and "brighten up her life" as you put it mynewpassion; she has no energy to win me back. Maybe that's for another time...

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JackMatthias · 19/12/2011 22:53

Sorry for DP, but what I am trying to say is that she has nothing to give me emotionally ATM and I have nothing to give her, which to my mind is a dangerous situation to be in: the thing I fear is that, feeling thus abandoned by me, she might be tempted to contact John again. I'm in a real bind about this and don't know what I can/ should do...

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mynewpassion · 20/12/2011 02:32

Oh, Jack...you are in a tough, tough situation. Do you guys have any family or friends nearby who can help with the child care to give both of you a break?

misty0 · 20/12/2011 07:06

Yes to the above. I take it none of your mutual friends or family knows what she's been doing? Not saying you should tell them - just wondering.

Jack, alot of posters here have talked about when they were in the same situation as your wife and were 'sexting' people they shouldnt have been. It strikes me that the majority of them here had an attack of concience and stopped or confessed to their OH's and made a go of the relationship. In your situation she was caught out. 3 times isnt it? It would still be going on if you hadnt found out.

So ... she may now be feeling shame and anger at being caught and having to stop AGAIN, on top of her ongoing feelings about your relationship. Thats quite alot of emotions boiling on the pot. They're not all your responsibility though.

My point (i'm getting there) is this - you ARE the injured party here. Also i recon your feelings are likely much more centered around healing the relationship than hers at the moment. But - you cant be everything in this situation and its damaging you to try. You;re trying to keep too many balls in the air i think. By that i mean you have a perfect right to be licking your wounds, being aloof and withdrawn and being the one who needs winning back. Taking your time and taking stock. You cant do that AND tread on egg shells round her, try to be her counceller, her loving husband, her replacement sexting partner (looking back at old thread) and her jailer. By jailer i mean attempting to phisically prevent her contacting John again by removing his number and stressing that your behaviour will drive her to contact him again.

I dont know how your going to do it exactly, but you need to cut yourself some slack here. Saving this relationship is going to have to be a joint effort. You cant do it on your own - and it cant be done without you allowing yourself to be bloody hurt and and angry properly first.

She's behaved apallingly Jack. Lift your head and see that you deserve better. Give this relationship a go, but dont be on your knees.

JackMatthias · 20/12/2011 09:52

The hurt and anger certainly seems to be to the fore this week so far. I'm left also with this creeping feeling of dread that this can't be 'fixed'. I'm finding it very difficult to master and quell my anger and feel much love towards her; for me ATM the sexting is the elephant in the drawing room, dominating my waking thoughts and then some (I even had a dream about Johhn last night!)...

...BUT at the same time I in no way want to be the 'Unforgiving Servant' of the Biblical parable, choking the last ounce of remorse from her, demanding that she pays back all she owes me (which can't be done anyway, nothing can compensate me for what she's done) as that will do neither of us any good in the medium- to long-term. In the short-term also, that strategy is less than useless, with her PND. The PND is my responsibility, but I can't cope with her with it ATM; I'm using all my energy to try to manage myself emotionally and have nothing left to give to her...

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ilovemyteddy · 20/12/2011 10:30

Got to post and run but an emphatic YES to everything Misty0 posted this morning.

JackMatthias · 20/12/2011 10:50

We have two mutual friends who know. None of either of our families know

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mynewpassion · 20/12/2011 13:44

if family is nearby, ask them for some help with the kids by taking them out for a few hours.

You don't have to tell them about the sexting but they can help with the PND and relieving some stress. It is during these times that you need to lean on families.

JackMatthias · 20/12/2011 15:07

Neither of our families are geographically close enough to assist.

I've ordered the Shirley Glass book from Waterstones although won't get it till after the Christmas break.

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misty0 · 20/12/2011 15:50

Do you get the feeling she is resentfull about the fact that she was found out? Has she expressed any relief at being stopped in the sexting? Before it went too far for eg.

I know what you mean when you say you dont want to be wringing remorse out of her like blood out of a stone. You shouldnt have to be tbh. The thing is though i cant remember you saying much in your posts about her being genuinely sorry for what she's been up to.

You say you are managing and mastering your anger and hurt. Are you masking your feelings because you fear that you will push her away if you express yourself fully? Thats so sad. And its not fair.

Maybe she actually needs to see a bit of 'passion' form you? Even in the form of anger at being treated the way you have. Maybe deep down she thinks she can keep on pushing you this way, crossing boundaries with this bloke, and your patience is never ending.

Hope today is going better for you Jack.

JackMatthias · 20/12/2011 16:28

Yes, I am masking my feelings because of fear re pushing her away, pushing her back into John's virtual embrace and also fears re her PND. It's bizarre, I've been able to express my hurt and upset but not my anger. My anger scares me, and I don't know what it will do to her for her to see it.

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paranoidandroidwreckmyownlife · 20/12/2011 20:02

You can show her your hurt and upset whilst saying you won't accept this behaviour from her anymore. You don't need to show her the anger it could be counterproductive. You do however need an outlet for it. Can you get a boxing dangly thing in the garage or similar. Let rip on something like that, pretend it's John. I have a pillow that's taken some beatings called L#%&%@. Feels good! Grin

misty0 · 20/12/2011 22:41

Yeah, i agree you need an outlet for that anger. Have you had a good rant 'at' a friend about this? That helps let it out sometimes.

Why does your anger scare you, out of interest? Have you lost it in the past and gone a bit over-board? Or have you always bottled stuff up, and dont know what angry Jack is like?

It must be such an effort keeping yourself in check like this. I'm not sure i could even separate my anger and hurt you way you have. It would all just come tumbling out in a flood at once i think.

You make lots of allowances for her PND. Does she make allowances for your depression? I'm sorry to prod and pry (i'm on your side here, can you tell? Grin)

I'm just wondering if you may be afraid to get angry because the angry you is the you who seriously starts thinking to yourself, or even saying out loud 'i deserve better than this!'. Which then obviously begs the question 'is this relationship good for me any more'? Empower yourself a little with the idea that you do actually have a choice. It may make it easier to stay.

What would you say to her if you were unafraid of her response Jack? Rant here if it helps. You can say what you please here and we are listening.

I think you're doing a brilliant job coping with this btw.

JackMatthias · 21/12/2011 10:41

Thanks! I was able to tell her how angry I was with her, how betrayed and that I wasn't sure that we could get over this or that I could forgive her for it. She listened and accepted responsibility for her actions.

It's a start, I guess...

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JackMatthias · 21/12/2011 17:16

Feel very much worse today...

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misty0 · 21/12/2011 17:43

Sad Why?