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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

H has capped my household spending.

424 replies

carla · 07/01/2006 22:48

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OP posts:
Original poster
carla · 08/01/2006 00:01

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OP posts:
CarlasHusband · 08/01/2006 00:02
colditz · 08/01/2006 00:02

I think I've got it.

Carla has a Barcley Card which pays the bills. The Barcley Card is hers, but her husband pays the account. He is now saying that he will not contribute more than £1200 towards her Barcley Card each month.

This means that if the total household expenditure goes over £1200, Carla has to find that money out of her own (small?) income.

Carla, is this true and correct?

Flossam · 08/01/2006 00:02

Utilities - outlandish ones £150 C/t
£50Leccy
£50Gas
£30 water.
£50 Phone
£10 C/t.
£60 insurances.

= £340

Say you managed to spend £600 on food pcm = £940.

Therefore still £200 pcm on clothes, books etc plus whatever you earn.

I take it the house is yours alone? Else why would you be even considering charging him rent. An bearing in mind he is helping to pay towards so much in the house atm, and you have no costs for this does not seem reasonable.

Original poster
carla · 08/01/2006 00:02

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OP posts:
starlover · 08/01/2006 00:03

why shouldn't she?
pay for some of the bills out of her own money i mean?

unless she knows that he is earmning substantially more than her

colditz · 08/01/2006 00:03

carla, please read my last post, I think I have got what you are getting at now. am I right?

Original poster
carla · 08/01/2006 00:03

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OP posts:
hunkermunker · 08/01/2006 00:03

Carla, I hope I'm not being horrid - I think you're being compared to Lavender because she used to post the most outrageous statements, then ignore people who were asking her questions.

What you have outlined is a situation that is confusing to say the least - you have said a number of conflicting things about who pays for what and ignored questions left, right and centre.

nutcracker · 08/01/2006 00:04

I must go before my beautiful forhead is scared forever from all the frowning.

Original poster
carla · 08/01/2006 00:04

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OP posts:
Aloha · 08/01/2006 00:04

No, still don't understand, as what you are saying now clashes totally with your first post.

OK, are you saying that HE gives YOU a barclaycard, out of which you pay all utility bill (gas, electric, insurance etc) and food. Your smaller income (unspecified) is used for your clothes, kids clothes and expenses.
He is suddenly saying that he will only fund bills, insurance, repairs, food etc to the cost of £1,200 and the rest of his income is his own?
Is that right?

The reason you got a slating is because your first post suggested you got £1,200 a month from your h to spend just on clothes and toiletries and minor kids expenses.

starlover · 08/01/2006 00:05

ok i get it now.

why do you not have a joint bank account?

Flossam · 08/01/2006 00:05

Soory that dosen't add up does it? Added the insurance as an after thought.

£200 pcm left over is still right, on the basis of spending about 150 a week on food.

colditz · 08/01/2006 00:05

Then, if you don't know his income, and suspect he is not giving you a good proportion of it, you have a cause for complaint.

hunkermunker · 08/01/2006 00:05

Aloha, want to join me at the wall for bashing one's head against?!

Heathcliffscathy · 08/01/2006 00:05

call me an idiot but i don't think if it is true colditz she deserves a roasting on here for being peed off even if the amount is quite big especially given that everyone on here seems to have a squillion tellies!

hunkermunker · 08/01/2006 00:06

But Colditz, that is nothing like what Carla outlined in her first couple of posts.

starlover · 08/01/2006 00:06

using a barclaycard to pay for bills and stuff seems an odd way of going about it.
if he is paying the bills via a barclaycard... then why doesn't he just set them up on direct debit from his bank account?

Milge · 08/01/2006 00:07

err, not me, Carla. I posted my thud under my own name.

hunkermunker · 08/01/2006 00:07

LOL! I have two tellies - both more than ten years old, one was £85 second-hand, the other was £450.

Aloha · 08/01/2006 00:07

Sophable, but Carla's first post suggested that she only paid for minor expenses out of the £1,200

"I have a bit of my own income, but H announced tonight that anything over X amount of money on my BC would not be paid for by him.

Since ALL his goes on our boring food/household stuff, and I pay for all my own clothes/treats for the girls, I'd like to put it before the MN jury."

MrsSpoon · 08/01/2006 00:08

I still remember the 8K a month thread. There are some big earners on MN who would no doubt be a little perturbed at suddenly having their budget cut.

That being said I still don't think the money is the issue it's the lack of communication between Carla and her DH.

CarlasHusband · 08/01/2006 00:08

That doesn't fit with ANY of her numerous posts from the beginning of this thread.

But you have found a vaguely reasonable explanation which she has leapt on so that everyone will get off her back.

I'd leave it at that - I think she has probably worked out that the answer to her "am I unreasonable" question is a resounding "YES"!

Heathcliffscathy · 08/01/2006 00:08

i totally agree that if you wish to roast her for complete unclarity (sorry it's too late for anything but a made up word) you are within your rights

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