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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

H has capped my household spending.

424 replies

carla · 07/01/2006 22:48

Message deleted

OP posts:
Milge · 08/01/2006 00:09

That wasn't me, either!

Aloha · 08/01/2006 00:09

And when PPH said it was a lot of money to spend on clothes and bleach Carla didn't immediately say she paid the gas bill out of it, which was very confusing to say the least.

lockets · 08/01/2006 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

colditz · 08/01/2006 00:09

She said that what I said is exactly what is going on, that means I have solved the puzzle and can see now why she is moaning.

Anything said before and after is completely disregarded by me, as I am going to go to bed where nobody can contradict my genius!

starlover · 08/01/2006 00:10

i don't think she is necessarily being unreasonable if that is the case though.

we all live within our means.. carla's are just a bit more than most on here! if i had £1200 to spend a month i'd probably get through it too

like others have said, the problem is the lack of communication and the sudden cutting back of money for no apparent reason... the amount in question isn't really the issue

Heathcliffscathy · 08/01/2006 00:10

you deserve a prize colditz

colditz · 08/01/2006 00:12

[smug] yes, I rather think I do

Milge · 08/01/2006 00:12

Any financial decisions that impact on both parties to a marriage, should be taken jointly.

starlover · 08/01/2006 00:13
Original poster
carla · 08/01/2006 00:13

Message deleted

OP posts:
MrsSpoon · 08/01/2006 00:13

She also mentioned x-mas spending, I might be making a leap too far here so correct me if I am wrong Carla, but have you been left to clear a big balance on the credit card out of your budget and small earnings? In which case I would be hacked off.

colditz · 08/01/2006 00:14
soapbox · 08/01/2006 00:14

I can entirely see how £1200 would be eaten up on clothes, food etc! In absolute terms it is a lot of money - but it's only a new jumper one week, a skirt the next, a pair of got to have shoes or boots the next, and a restocking of the makeup box the week after. At my local boutiques which are heavily frequented by those who have nothing better to do with their time, that would easily reach £1200 a month. Without any of the rest of it!

However, we have been asked by carla whether her husband is reasonable to cap her expenditure at £1200. The answer is we quite simply do not know! We have no idea how much her DH earns, or she earns (I suspect her small income might be more than a year's earnings for some on here)! We are therefore just wasteing our time, on futile arguments about how the £1200 might be allocated! It really isn;t at all hard to spend £1200 a month if you have it to spend. Whether it is wise to spend £1200 on nothing, is another question altogether. And one of which, I suspect Carla and I would disagree

starlover · 08/01/2006 00:15

sorry it was me who mentioned joint bank accounts!

i dunno, i just thought it made more sense to pay bills from a bank account than to do it with a credit card and then pay it off?

i guess it makes no difference if it's a joint account or not.

just that then all your money would be in one pot andt here would be no "i'll pay this much" etc etc

starlover · 08/01/2006 00:15
colditz · 08/01/2006 00:16

No, carla, we don't have one either. I have insisted recetly on communication though. Do you suspect that your dh's income is very high, meaning it would be unreasonable to expect you to pay for everything?

I mean, is he keeping a large proportion of his income to himself?

CarlasHusband · 08/01/2006 00:16

Excuse me, can I quote one of her posts?

"Milge -

bc capped to 1200 per month for all household stuff, not including bills.

I buy everthing else. "

So not exactly paying the gas, electricity, water, insurance, tv licence or anything else out of it.

Rips medal off Colditz

Aloha · 08/01/2006 00:16

OK, are you saying that HE gives YOU a barclaycard, out of which you pay all utility bill (gas, electric, insurance etc) and food. Your smaller income (unspecified) is used for your clothes, kids clothes and expenses.
He is suddenly saying that he will only fund bills, insurance, repairs, food etc to the cost of £1,200 and the rest of his income is his own?
Is that right?

Please?

Milge · 08/01/2006 00:17

I think at last I have got it. Carla, If your dh has suddently decided to contribute only £1200 towards a joint spend over Xmas without consulting you, then yes this is unreasonable. However, £1200 pcm excluding food and bills, is a decent amount on an ongoing basis. Can go to bed now without my head hurting. Good night.

Aloha · 08/01/2006 00:17

And you don't have to have a joint account to pay the bills out of it.

colditz · 08/01/2006 00:18

NO NO NO, she said I was right, I have solved the puzzle! Now give me back that chow mein!

I mean medal!

Aloha · 08/01/2006 00:19

But she said it didn't include bills. Bills to me mean gas and electricty etc.

starlover · 08/01/2006 00:19

the medal was made of chow mein

Aloha · 08/01/2006 00:19

"Milge -

bc capped to 1200 per month for all household stuff, not including bills.

Aloha · 08/01/2006 00:20

Goodnight! My head hurts!