H has capped my household spending.

[carla]

Message deleted

What household stuff, if food, bills, clothes, coffees, bus fares, magazines are excluded? Pots/pans/curtains/furniture/electrical stuff then I presume? [thought I understood, now baffled again emoticon]

you spend £1200 a month on clothes and toys AND if your girls WANT clothes at the weekend your dh buys them?

dear god

So you pay for clothes , books , toys, trips, small household stuff like frames, ornaments etc, and ...

clothes books toys have always come out of your own earned money.

What exactly does the BC money have to cover?

I'm confused as well.

Well I think there are two ways of looking at this issue:

1. How fair is the amount relatively

2. How fair is the amount in absolute terms!

The answer to 1. we don't know as we don't know what your DH overall financial position is. We don't know the extent of his equity nor his income. So very hard to opine. Perhaps you could tell us roughly what you think he might earn. Which would be a help. What is your own income per year?- also would be useful to know!

No 2 - well £1200 is quite a lot of money for fripperies - but I do understand how someone could get through that amount of money quite easily, if money were not a concern. OTOH, it is still a generous sum of money to supplement your own income with. If you look at it from the position of many people who post on MN, then it is a grotesquely obscene amount of money to spend on nothing.

I think perhaps you are using spending to make you feel happier in a difficult relationship and with alcohol problems Carla, and perhaps you need to look at why your DH has done this.

I'm also with PPH a little on this - some of us who post here are in extremely fortunate positions money wise, and to post on here moaning about not having enough, when others have so much less, is a little distasteful, IMO!

OK -
YOU - have an income of your own (unspecified but at least £5K) PLUS over £14K a year out of which
YOU pay for clothes books toys and toiletries

HE pays all bills, all childcare (if any), all food and treats on top of that if you are together.

Is that right?

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He pays, bills, childcare, food, large furniture items then yes ??

I think your main problem with this is that you don't know how much your DH earns. That's really not normal.

Well at the beginning you said your h paid for food, later you said you did.
At first you said you paid for yours and the kids clothes etc then in your post to me you said you did 'NOT' pay for those things.

Carla, nobody is clear what the "household things" are that you put on your BC.

I think this must be a Joke

Carla why can you not just explain in one big post what you are trying to say instead of beating around the bush and answering which people you choose too??

i just want to know exactly what you spend over £1200 a month on!

And sorry if you're genuine, but this is oh so reminiscent of a Lavender thread. Lots of half information which gets people wound up and intrigued and then going round and round in circles while ignoring the central issue.

You must have some idea of what he earns surely, by what job he does.

What household stuff then??? And whose money is the £1200? And where does yours come from? And what is the tax bill for?

I'm so tired and this is confusing my poor tired head!

my eyes are getting sleepy....my knees are weak my nose is crumbly (a la monty python).....

i thought i understood but dont at all....i'll leave it to you ladies