..it really is.
I'm sure Custy and Cod will rip pieces off me, I can just see it.
When ds was tiny (about 3 or 4 weeks) I was looking for photos of him on our PC and mistakingly looked in the wrong folder and found loads of pictures of posing girls with their names as the file names (the kind that you would email to someone if meeting up etc) I assumed that it was from my dh's past and didn't think too much of it (after all that is the way we met six years ago)
However about three or four days later I found his lap top downstairs which had not been shut down properly as totally by chance there were loads of chat windows open (private conversations) of a very lewd and sexual nature. I went loopy (blame the sleep deprivation and hormones) and without explanation hit the roof and left my wedding ring on the lap top with the windows still open and packed my bags to leave him. He was devastated and swore on our baby's life that the conversations were not initiated by him but randomly posted by others. When I tackled him about the other photos I had found (including two of his ex colleagues) He appeared to have full explanations for all of these. he sounded so entirely genuine that I was convinced. It took quite a while for me to be convinced though.
Ok well roll on a while and in a strange coincidence today I was searching for some photos to print out for relatives when I came across a strange folder containing not only more picture of girls posing in skimpy clothes (some dating back from last September) but also photos of him digital ones which look like ones he would send out.
I am at my wits end and so upset. All I keep thinking about is how my family is going to be ripped apart. I keep looking at my son and just assuming the worst but I'm just too scared to approach him. I really did feel like a stupid, paranoid insecure idiot last time but this time it's like all of those feeling I had were indeed correct and I'm left feeling numb and like it's the end of our relationship.
We went out today and it was so strange to try to act normal but I couldn't and I kept watching dh like a hawk every time a woman walked past.
I think I am going to lose my mind.