''I just WISH I could find someone worthy of a proper relationship instead of a long stream of fuckwits" Dating chat #6

[lubeybooby]

here we go... all dating related chat HERE!

:o

i've never seen 'still crazy' should i?

me and the 'knew him ish ages ago' guy have been constantly texting each other and getting pretty flirty. not all superficial stuff, quite nice actually.

he suddenly says tonight oh i could make it over tomorrow for an hour or so if you want to get together for a chat (his response to me saying oh maybe we could talk on the phone rather than texting).

i'm not sure. i'm really rather enjoying the whole text flirty fantasy bit.

he's seriously fit. he's really rather sweet and funny. do i bite the bullet and meet up with him tomorrow for a coffee or do i put it off till i feel readier somehow? aware that by putting him off it would all build up bigger via text etc when maybe it comes to nothing. quite enjoy the text flirting malarchy though.

and here is the thing - i saw him last when i was a late 20's, just back from travelling, slim confident young thing. what if he meets me and goes wow, you had a tough paper round.

or what if it is awkward and bleurgh.

i'm a twat. he is seriously fit, really quite funny and appreciative of me. i should go for it?

oh and realistically i haven't seen a single guy i actually fancy on pof or in real life for ages and him, yeah i can imagine it. think i've kind of answered my own question. but still don't know whether to delay him a while till my head is around things better.

swallowed, it's a cool movie. Bill Nighy is at his usual best and the skinny aggro guy from Auf Wiedersehen pet is the bass player with bad attitude. If you like band movies (Almost Famous, Spinal Tap etc.) you'll like it.

ok poppa. oh and well done for sticking to the safe question!

now do i meet up with very much shaggable guy tomorrow or put him off to a more shaggable sort of time?

swallowed Just go for it! Why not? Life is short and we need to enjoy it while we are here. You have an opportunity so take it. You have nothing to lose. If you carry on talking/flirting chances are you are going to want to meet him anyway but, if the messaging goes on for too long you could well find yourself idealising the situation before you have met, then when you do meet after all of that there is a more chance of you being disappointed. So, my vote is a go for it.

Poppa Hope you are ok after letting the quiet one go. I'm kind of pleased you have actually because from the little you said about her it seemed you were settling. Now you are free to find quality

watch - I hate the games some men play, it's so daft - just be honest, it's all we bloody ask!! Dust yourself off and put a smile back on. He's a twat!

swallowed, go for it. What's the worst that can happen? You have a coffee and conversation and time out of mundane life

I had one today I have been chatting to for ages said he'll phone me - then didn't. The reason - he wonders why I am on POF so much and must be looking for more than a relationship. Yes, I'm on there answering your stupid questions!!

I am in the process of arranging an adhoc drink for tonight though with someone I only started talking to yesterday - I like the ones that say let's do it, no faffing

To those who feel they were played by texting, loveliness, facades of being gwnuinr, nice bloke... you were worth the effort they expended. Fuck them.

Love actually, when Emma Thompson gets the joni Mitchell compilation instead of the jewellery from Alan Rickman? Ohhh! [Sad] I weep every. Single. Time...

OMG, I blocked 2 people from POF and one has gone but the other hasn't, I mustn't have clicked on the button hard enough. It's the one I sent a stroppy message to about not being in touch and guess what! It's one of those unbelievable set of circumstances. Might have been too harsh, after all.

Snape its the way she composes herself afterward that gets me. Her dignity. Makes me well up every time! I do know its only a film, honest!

Swallowed - Course you should! No point in this dating malarky unless you are ready to chuck yourself in!

Right I'm going to say what I think here, kill me if you want, but if you sleep with these strangers the first time you meet them then don't expect anything to come of it. If you want casual sex then go for it but don't expect them to be nice to you afterwards. The ones who talk dirty before you have met, they are looking to f--k and chuck. Sorry to be so harsh! It's the mother in me coming out and also lots of experience of how men work.

Watch, go for a coffee with this new one, I mean a coffee, it not a euphemnism. PM me with his username so I can check him out on POF.

Not in all cases. Unless I am in denial and am actually being played!

Watch I do agree with adams though, go for that coffee, why not? :)

Adams, but its not even that that.is the issue, and I.wasn't sure if I even wanted to see him.again. I didn't use sex as a means to get a relationship.... I did it because I.wanted to. What I'm.upset about is the lies and bullshit he spun me. And crap he's come out with today... Which incidentally makes no sense, talking about not being ready to.comitt.... But I hadn't even said I wanted to see him again ffs!!!!. Abd I feel stupid for believing his rubbish.
It makes me feel like an idiot.
Its nothing to do with tge sex at all..honestly.

And that bit in the film kills me everytime. And after tge school play.

Has me messaged you then Adams, what does he say

Watch he is the fool not you by far, he had me fooled as I really thought he wanted more. You believed him because you see the good in people. Don't let this put you off, maybe it takes a really special guy to appreciate you like you deserve - the rest are all knobs.

My favourite weepy film is Forest Gump - gets me every time

Swallowed definately go for it

Littlehouse I can see what you meen as it sounds as though both your sports are time consuming and I think it would be lovely if you could both 'learn' about each others sports but not at a cost to you own

Poppa your GD sounds lovely, must be really exciting having her around for Xmas. Are you going back on the dating scene or giving it a rest for a while.

I have had a pretty crappy, stressful day and will be glad when its over. Too many days left and too many bills to pay before pay day. Its days like this when I feel it as a single parent as there is no one to talk to about it or share worries with. My DS greeted me at school pick up with 'mum your hair looks brown like that'. I'm very pleased that I managed to wait an hour and a half before I snapped 'thanks for reminding me that I need my bloody hair highlighted when I can't afford it

Watch you are no fool. You know you're not. It's natural enough to take things people say at face value - we all do it.

This guy is either a bastard of the first order and deliberately mislead you because he thought it would in some way benefit him, or he meant all the things he said at the time and then latterly took fright.

Either way you're best off rid. Sending you a hug ok.

I am on date number 5 with a lovely chap from pof. No worries about body tomorrow Mother Nature has intervened plus both dcs home tomorrow so I can relax a little.
Had a terrible week, all stress and tears so hopefully it will all improve next week and no more tears :)

Watch dont feel too bad about. Its happened to me twice in the last year. They said all the right things and then when it went sexual one said he wasnt ready for a relationship and the other just completely ignored me. Men are knobs. Im gona be a lot cautious not fall into their bed from now on. Big hugs

One thing I read somewhere. When a woman has mind blowing sex its hard not to get emotionally attached. For a bloke...its sex. The emotional attachment comes from the personality of the woman. Written by a bloke, god knows if there is any truth in it (papa smurf, opinon?!) I think this is why so many women end up played. Players tend to be awesome in the bedroom having obviously had a lot of practice. Coupled with the smooth talking and promises its easy for women to get sucked in. Whilst the player stays about as emotionally attached as a dead fish

Waffle waffle.

Watch I agree you're not a fool at all. But I know how you feel, I hate that feeling of being deceived. My dad always told me growing up that I mustn't EVER let anyone get one over on me, and so I'm always determined that doesn't happen, that no-one will ever take me for a fool - inevitably it happens sometimes and I feel hugely cross with myself and my stupidity. Even if like you I hadn't actually wanted them to say what they were saying, to offer what they were offering, but I always feel I should be able to see through anyone's lies and fake crap.

It reminds me a bit of being a teen at school when a boy would ask you out. and you wouldn't really be that interested, so you'd say he wasn't really your type. Or something. Be polite about it but let him down. And then he'd say well ACTUALLY I didnt want to go out with you but I felt sorry for you/I was just joking/X bet me to say it

I do wonder whether tent pant boy got that vibe a bit from you, so thought he's get his 'I'm not interested' bit in first.

He isn't worth your thoughts or upset though. no-one, not even me (and I think I'm very very clever even though I didnt realise I should be messaging men myself on POF not just waiting for them to come to me!) can see through these guys every time. and the only way you can is to assume they are always lying. and that's no way to go through life, never believing a single thing anyone says.

Hope the wine is helping :)

Do you think player men say all this stuff part because it's their patter, part that they think they won't get lucky unless they trot it all out, but also maybe partly because they actually like pretending to themselves a bit that it could be a relationship....

honestly the more I think about it the more weird men seem. And my single, dateless state actually doesn't seem that bad!

"And my single, dateless state actually doesn't seem that bad!"

Amen to that sponge

Time, thanks for your pm btw, and the help. The amendments have produced the first decent msg for ages so a definite improvement. And that's still without sending any initially myself!

Hurraaaay!! I am so pleased!! Now you get stuck in too and start sending messages! Change brings changes so it is bound to work

You might have something there sponge..... I don't know. Like you I don't like feeling someone has got one over on me.
Sex, I do sex like a man, no attachment... LOL. But he was.going on and on about feelings. And I believed it. Its that that makes me feel stupid.

Glad your profile change is working... It's good to refresh it often... And get messaging :)

Date set sat week.... LOL.

Oh no watch, don't feel stupid though, we've all been there. Hope you're ok, not nice to feel you've been had.

SAF nothing ventured nothing gained