''I just WISH I could find someone worthy of a proper relationship instead of a long stream of fuckwits" Dating chat #6

[lubeybooby]

here we go... all dating related chat HERE!

:o

Nsasmn - it does seem a bit of an odd question to ask but perhaps it was his clumsy way of finding out where he stands with you. I wouldn't have lied myself, there was no spark for you with him, so rather than keep him hanging on I would have just said it was a date and that you are sorry but there was no potential for you and him as far as you are concerned.

Poppa - that sounds like an eventful weekend! I hope it all works out for you and gs.

Nsas. Not sure why you want to see him again if there is no spark and you are dating other people tbh. Perhaps you are looking for friends to go out with rather than romance so you might have to be honest with this one. I agree he would be trying to find out if you are a serial dater. Nothing worse than meeting someone you like and thinking there is potential and realising they are keeping one eye on you and one eye on their inbox! Tis the downfall of internet dating which I hate.

i'm wondering about this actually. i wonder if fitboy is still going on pof - absolutely no reason realistically that he shouldn't be. we've only seen each other a couple of times but have been flirting outrageously in texts since last time and talked about actually getting to have an evening together when my parents are back and he doesn't have his dd or work on so i think there's definitely some more time together and mutual wanting to carry on and see what's what with this. i wonder how i would feel if he was still on there chatting, let alone dating people though and i actually don't think i'd like it!

i haven't been on there since last time i met up with him even to check my inbox. i sincerely doubt there's anything in it worth looking at and i don't quite get why i'd be meeting up with other men whilst fancying this guy and having something bubbling on the horizon with him.

obviously very lucky that someone i already sort of knew from before found me on there and i actually like him rather than ploughing through tons of first dates and the like with randoms.

am i still supposed to be looking? and - should i go on and see when he was last on there? i'm not sure i really want to know.

it does all sound very complicated poppa - i hope things work out. sounds like a very good idea to introduce some stability and reliability into his life. how heartbreaking that he asked if you remembered him!?!

Swallowed afaik if you go into POF and your sent msgs it will tell you when he was last online but only in the past 24 hours. It doesn't show beyond that. Of course he can then find out you have been online if he logs on in next 24 hours. Someone else might come on and correct me on this. My potential is saying he has connection problems so I'm checking daily to see if he has been on to read my message but he hasn't.

Pretty sure I'm being given the runaround but time will tell when he logs on as he now has my phone no.

thanks adams. yes you see if i go on to see if he's been on he could see that i've been on and think i'm still on there chatting to people/looking for someone. this isn't infantile and ridiculous at all is it?

hope potential gets in touch or shows his true colours quick then adams so it's not headfucky/timewasting

Your grandson is very luck to have you in his life Poppa to give stability, support, family life and love. IT will be lovely for him to be around you and getting to know his cousins over Xmas. Hope it goes OK, keep us posted. x

Swallowed you could always go on and have a peep then hide your profile then if he questions it you have your excuse for having been on in the first place .

Thanks for the supportive comments. It turns out he's played lawn bowls with his Mum and Nanna so I've recruited him to play in our night owls team starting Wednesday night. Maccas and lawn bowls - does that smell like teen spirit or what? :-)

Oh and I bought him a new Nerf gun to replace the one that the delusional toxic cow took from him to give to her spawn. I'm not going to try and fill his Dad's place or play Father Christmas and spoil him with material things... what he needs is to know he belongs and that I think I can do.

I haven't met the potential yet and am too busy with better christmas do's and shopping to be bothered about dating atm but yes it is strangely messing with my head, just a little .

Good idea, go on and hide your profile, so you have an excuse. Not at all infantile, just tactics . Can understand you not wanting to know though.

I'm going on a first date (first internet dating date - first date in a long time) on Wednesday evening - a drink at a pub. Any advice regarding 'tactics'. I'm very nervous! Should I get there first and wait in the pub or sit in my car? What do others do?

Swallowed - I don't think I would look! If you haven't done the whole exclusive talk yet then there is nothing wrong in him still being on there and dating...if you discover he is, it sounds like it would upset you! Why not just go with the flow for now?

that's my conclusion too stay. i don't want or need to know at this point.

going with flow is the approach i'm sticking with.

good luck start. not much experience here but others will know better.

one good thing i heard was to have a leaving excuse ready in case you have the one drink and just want to go.

Start i was wondering about this too!

Poppa sounds v stressful weekend. Bowls is a good idea though. Hope you're ok.

Another question I have (one of many!) is how long do you lovely experts think you should message for before you meet? I dont want to go for ages before meeting someone because they might not be right! What's the general consensus?

I have the same question. Thing is - how long does emailing go on for? The proof in the pudding is really when you meet a person in RL.

Poppa sounds lke a difficult situation but he is lucky to have you.

SAF I wouldn't look. Or at least try really hard not to!

Spent ages trawling profiles earlier. Have come to the conclusion that the ones I fancy don't think much of me and that all the ones that are interested in me are not at all my type. Found my postman on there though! Oh and there was a guy whose profile I really liked but shallowly I didn't find him physically attractive. Is that really bad? You have to want to shag someone right?? Or should I contact him anyway and see if his personality shines through???? Never thought of myself as shallow before but it seems I am

Can I ask how many people everyone has met? (how many dates with different people you've been on and are still searching!?)

I think that if Iwas chattingmailing someone regularly then I would hope that he would asked me to meet after a couple of weeks. There are no rules though a couple of days or months is fine if that is OK with you. I do think though that if you chat for a long time before meeting then it easy to build up a picture in your mind as to what he is like and so the reality may be very different.

On a first date I prefer to meet outside the pub or wherever your meeting. At least then you don't have to go up to loads of people asking if they are so and so.

I had 3 dates before I met the guy I am in an R with now.

I met his sister on Saturday night and (hopefully) got on really well with her, she wwas lovely. Kind of see a whole new side to him after seeing him with his family and but it makes me fall for him a little bit more

Hi start and good luck with your dating.
I started online chatting last January and am very selective about meeting up with people. Many got weeded out at the chat stage.

I chatted to Red Flag Man for 3 months as he was abroad but when I met him in May he was a Loser and had to go.

I chatted to a Very Nice Man for 2 months from July before I met him in September. We were both very busy with our hobbies and didn't think it would work. We clicked straight away and have been going out since.

zany glad you liked the family. It makes it all more real somehow doesn't it? I am taking VNMs Mum out on Friday. Last night we sat on the sofa and stalked all her grandchildren on Facebook and laughed a lot. VNM is very close to his parents who live with him at the moment so it is lucky they like me.

Is it wrong to be a serial dater then? I was kinda hoping to shop around a while before I settle down. Is that wrong?

you guys have quite positive promising stories! i was considering stopping (and its only been a week!) but i'll stick it out thanks :)

why can't we just date in this country like they do in America.

Why do British men get so bloody territorial about women?

notsuch, of course it's not wrong, you can play things however you want to:) as for British men being territorial, I dunno...perhaps because women let them get away with it?

Freakoid I always think it's a gamble if you dont find someone physically attractive, perhaps you might warm to them, inner beauty will shine through and what have you.
usually I just find sex a bit yuk if I dont really fancy him and I just cant get into it.
So these days, unless he's an instant 'yes, I would' I tend not to bother

right, so what ive predicted has happened ladies ...

someone who seems nice and ive been talking to for about a week has asked me to meet. for drinks or a meal.

this is clearly where left alone id decline! only because i dont have muchconfidence left due to some shitty men in the past.

i should meet him shouldnt i?!!! evenif just for practice! make me!