''I just WISH I could find someone worthy of a proper relationship instead of a long stream of fuckwits" Dating chat #6

[lubeybooby]

here we go... all dating related chat HERE!

:o

NASAM, nothing wrong with serial dating if you have lots of time and energy. I just wouldn't waste time with men you meet if you don't fancy them, there are too many for that. It's up to you.

I would meet outside a venue and would wait in my car if I'm driving, usually tell someone what car I'm driving and hope they arrive before me.
I must have met about 30 men this way over the years. Only fancied a couple of them and had a relationship with one or two. I have found that I regretted rushing into meeting a few and have usually liked the ones I've built up a bit of excitment for. It really is luck I reckon, but won't waste time again meeting men if the photo and chat doesn't inspire me.

I think Notsuch that you should date until you find someone who you fancy and want to see again. If that takes one date then fine, if it takes 50 dates then thats also fine.

Definately go on your date Newbaby if you have enjoyed talking to him and like the look of his pictures.. Internet dating can build your confidence but can knock it down just as easily. Not all men are shitty like your ex but hopefully it will have fine tuned your 'twat' radar.

newbaby, I always find it helps to make the meeting as low key and quick as possible, daytime chat over a cup of coffee..maybe tell him you're only free for an hour.
Consider it a pre-date, rather than a date.

thank you! im replying to him now.

i have limited babysitting itsalladirtylie so it will have to be an hours coffee one saturday while my DD sees her dad (she only sees him 1 1/2hrs every saturday)

i feel nervous already!!

still makes me nervous, well it's more a feeling of utter dread actually

TI find the whole thing is very random..some of the best sex I've ever had was with a bloke who I put off meeting for a year because I wasnt sure if I liked the look of his photo's

i feel the utter dread thing now! Sex seems a long way off. It's been far too long ... (sorry! tmi!)

NSASMN if you want to meet lots of men and have fun without getting attached to any of them then why not? As long as you are clear with the guys that is what you are after then nobody can criticise.

I know that I am not able to manage no strings sex as I tend to get very fond of the men I go to bed with. SO I like to make sure they are decent kind and funny first, and thanks to MN I know how to spot the Red Flags now too.

It is all very scary but exciting, and as I was in a convent until I was 19 I am finally having a chance to be a teenager some 30 years later!

that resonates with me LWH - the getting fond of people i sleep with therefore best to make sure they're 'nice' before i sleep with them so when the yum, sex, la la la head comes on i've already covered myself a bit itms

you can never totally cover yourself of course but you've at least eliminated people who will make you feel ill within a few weeks or make you want to bury all evidence you were ever with them for example

Start - I was only online dating for a month. My friend dared me to join so I did (we are very mature ) and chatted with quite a lot of guys but never really felt the urge to see any of them. I also live in a relatively small town and work as a bartender, rather easy for someone to stalk me to death should they want to

However the gorgeous man I am now seeing, we were friends online for about two years. Never met until end of September and been together since. So I guess how long you message someone for is really just personal preference. If you are a shy type, then message as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable. If you are arrogant confident like me, then just meet quickly. There is no rule really.

In terms of British guys being territorial, I would say British women can be far worse! One date and it's planning weddings I think with dating sites too, there are a lot more men to women on there, so if a bloke gets a bit of interest they can be a bit full on. I doubt they would be the same in the flesh. Well some might but not all.

Littlehouse and zany - glad all is going well with your respective R's

Would love to hear from watch and time, they have been quiet lately, hope all is okay!

I think I'll make sure I get to the first-time date before him then I can get a look at him as he drives into the car park. (however, it will be dark at that time!). I hope I don't chicken-out of going now.

Has anyone tried speed-dating?

I've already got a tick-list of whether any interested ones fit the criteria. If they're foreign, I overlook bad spelling/grammar; if they're British/American... and they can't use words like to, too correctly etc.... I pass. (I think I'm too pedantic).

What criteria do others use? Another one of mine is they must be taller than me and reasonably well-educated (although that's not a totally accurate indicator of someone's intelligence). I also have to fancy the way they look; there has to be some chemistry for me.

I check the photo first, of course, doesn't everyone I must think they are attractive, although I've lowered my standards and hoped that there was chemistry in the flesh, never is. I always find they tend to be less attractive than the photos. I know I am!!!!

Then I see if they can string a sentence together and spell most words correctly. Then reply and see it they can come up with something interesting to say. Check out their job (might be all lies) etc to see if they might be solvent. I am, so don't want a hanger on.

LWH and swallowed I also tend to get fond of the other person if there is sex involved but I find I'm able to rationalise it, recognise that it's just 'hormones' and that, in the cold light of day, he's not someone that I could tolerate for very long if it wasnt for the sex

I do tend to discount guys that are shorter than me - The guy I met for dinner on sunday said he was 6ft. he was the same height as me. pffft. Although he did text me yesterday to say I had a 'lovely smile/eye combo'. whatever that means.

all quiet here. busy with xmas shopping yesterday (bless you TKMaxx!) ebaying everything that isn't nailed down and script reading etc. too busy to date (unless they're really, utterly lovely!)

I'm 5'2...absolutely won't go shorter than 5'5 though preferably between 5'10 and 6'2. I may make an exception if he was otherwise lovely but just short but I do like manly men and IME the ones shorter than 5'5 are generally quite delicate looking which I'm just not attracted to...

God I really am a shallow bitch. No wonder I'm still single.

Although IRL I am less shallow, it's all about the spark/chemistry rather than what they look like and if you saw pictures of my exes you wouldn't be able to pick a type. So maybe I should give some of the ones I don't think I'll be attracted to a chance?

the problem with giving ones you dont fancy via photo a chance is the odds are against you.
How much time do you want to spend making pointless small talk with someone you never want to see again?

Also the guy's prob going to think that you've met him because you liked the look of his photo.
Makes for an awkward meeting

IRL you have a chance to make an assessment before you let him know you're interested.
On the net you have to let him know you're interested before you make an assessment
Cart before horse!

I'm 5ft 2 and don't fancy short men at all. Unless I've met them in real life and they are really cute (thinking younger days). I probably wouldn't go for anyone under 5ft 9!

Thought I'd post ladies as I met a lovely man off Ok Cupid on Saturday and we are having date 2 tonight! Sat was lovely and I still feel all tingly thinking about it lol! He's absolutely gorgeous and a really nice man!

No time for personals but I'll try to pop back on tomorrow and let you know how I got on xx

Finally meet someone after all this time of kids going to their dad every fortnight come what may and suddenly the weekends are all over the place aaaagh drives me nuts. Have no clear idea when they are next with exh so cant plan anymore sex :)

Hello all, nice to see this chuggling along nicely in my abscence :o I'm in overworked and overtired hell at the moment but will be around tomorrow to spend all day in my pj's MNing catch up a bit

Watch where/ how are you?

Time you too check in please :o

Oh and picking up on a couple of points from skim reading

NBNM YES!! Go on the date! :o

Bubbles good luck :o

Start I am a pedant too and though my own grammar and spelling isn't perfect, really terrible sloppy mistakes with spellings and grammar that should have been learnt by the age of 7 ish, and text speak make me want to boil my head - or probably theirs actually. It's very off putting.

And Snape et al I have a MAJOR thing about height. Seriously it's like a fetish more than a 'like' for me. I don't meet anyone under 5ft 10 and not under 6ft if I can help it. If I'm eye level with a guy I go all maternal rather than lusty, in a cheek pinching head patting awww aint you cute! Kind of way (I don't do or say that though!) and don't fancy them at all - and I'm V wary of short man anger syndrome. Ugh.

Four messages on pof, all of them from fuckwits

#1 Hi

#2 (bearing in mind on my profile it says I hate text speak and being called hun) hey hun howz ur day bin wanna chat sumtym

#3 (bearing in mind I have set images to private whilst I figure out where I'm at a bit more) Hi I loved your pictures and would like to find out more about you.

#4 Hello, I really liked reading your profile and think you sound exactly what I'm looking for. Would love to chat and find out more about you

So far so good, click on profile, quite good looking, first paragraph of profile great, second paragraph a rant about women who post pouty pictures or pictures in their underwear, people who just email hi, people who don't read profiles, people who can't spell and various other crimes... Start to think hmm, agree with the sentiment but the delivery is a bit scary, read on,third paragraph good, fourth paragraph do not contact me if you have ever been married, or have children. I will not consider anyone who does not meet this requirement, I don't want another man's cast offs.

Right so he really read my profile then

cast offs!? cast!offs!!!!

I know
Twat.