As some of you know I've been married three times and generally I've kept in touch with the stepkids and their kids. One of my stepsons is especially dear to me. His Mum was 6 months pregnant when we met, I was there for the delivery, and I've always seen him as being my child as much as my daughter is. His birth father dropped off the radar within a year or so of the birth, and the stepson made contact with his birth father but then did the wrong thing by asking him to guarantee a car loan and that was the end of that relationship. Twelve years ago he was with a totally wonderful girl and they had a son, but that relationship ended and a few years ago he hooked up with a girl who "has ishoos". Lots of drugs, lots of personality disorders, she sees dead people, thinks she's psychic, a witch, etc etc, and he's thick enough to fall under her spell. I gave her the benefit of the doubt but she's done the wrong thing so many times that my d aughter and I want nothing to do with her... cleaned out his house and trashed it several times, cleaned out bank accounts several times, made up stories to get restraining orders then broke her side of them, and by having two unplanned pregnancies has had two kids by him and she's very effectively using them as leverage to get her way. In the meantime the 12 year old son hasn't seen much of our family except on a few occasions - maybe twice a year. When we do see him it's all great, but then Dad drops the ball and the grandson is left high and dry.
Fast forward to Friday night and the grandson knocks on my door. He lives within a few miles of me and I've said to him every time I've seen him that he's always welcome here. It broke my heart when he asked if I remembered him, and then again when he asked if I'd seen his Dad. While my stepson is with the the unhinged bitch he's not going to do the right thing by his son, and to be honest even if he broke free of her hold he probably still isn't going to do the right thing by his son. So I've spent most of the weekend talking and messaging with my daughter and the grandson's Mum trying to work out a strategy to make things better. Fortunately the Mum is great and we all get on brilliantly. She works, and the long Christmas school holidays are coming up so we're planning for the grandson to spend time with me as well as some cousins catchups with the other stepson's partner and their kids as well as the grandson spending some time with me and the GD I look after and generally doing the right thing by the kid. Of course he's twelve years old, he's got some of the usual frustrated male tween issues of his own, and there's no reason he should expect us to be any more reliable than his Dad, so we've got some work to do. Lots of negotiation to be done and he and I need to spend some time working out our relationship and him learning he is loved and we can be trusted. So, little sisters, that's been my weekend!