''I just WISH I could find someone worthy of a proper relationship instead of a long stream of fuckwits" Dating chat #6

[lubeybooby]

here we go... all dating related chat HERE!

:o

Yeah, definitely don't tidy. He knows it's messy and if he wants to fix it he will.

I guess it's up to the individual. My house is tidy but dusty except the sparlling clean new loo (which reminds me I must vacuum the passage next to it!) and except the lounge which is full of the GD's toys so I just vacuum around them.

Hi ladies.

Just joined Badoo anyone else use it?

fitboys house is immaculately tidy. mine is messy in comparison. it was tidy enough that when i did a last minute pop round there after texting he was able to show me around the whole house including his bedroom - something i would never volunteer to do! my bedroom is where mess hides when i have to do a quick tidy up for visitors.

don't know badoo. what's it like?

Feeling a bit depressed this morning, have just finished "he's just not that into you". And noone has ever been that into me. What if noone ever is?

(I also ovulated yesterday so it's partly that whole hormonal not having a mate thing I think...)

oh freak! nothing useful to say i'm afraid. i've just had a strange little cry and come to think of it i'm probably around that time too so thanks for the ready made excuse

i'm finding things a little depressing - i think possibly because by admitting maybe it would be nice to have someone i've opened a doorway to thoughts/feelings about what it's like on my own and how tough it is sometimes. i usually keep a firm lid on that.

have you anything nice/distracting planned for the afternoon? i'm going to drag myself out and take ds to softplay and take a good book with me and indulge in a greasy toasted sandwich whilst he gets worn out playing.

(obviously not my ideal way to spend a saturday afternoon but better than sitting here feeling sorry for myself and wondering whether it would be ok to have a glass of the nice port a friend gave me for my birthday given it's the weekend and after 12)

Thanks SAF. DS has a birthday party so I will at leats be with other people there.

I dunno, sometimes I'm happy to be on my own and it does have it's advantages, but ultimately it isn't what I want I guess. Everyone wants to be loved don't they? I think I've always felt like one day someone will totally adore me, and I'm coming to the realisation that it may not actually happen. I'd still rather be on my own than in a bad relationship, and I wouldn't be with just anyone to avoid being single because it isn't the be all and end all, but if I could find a good relationship that would be great!

I'm fairly tidy and didn't contact a perfectly acceptable chap on OKC because the table in his photo was knee deep in cups, fags wrappers, deoderant cans etc.

christ, I'm picky! :)

ebay listing day for me (nnn) & then off to the pub with ex-flat-mates and grudgingly platonic man. let there be rum!

I dont think thats picky snapes, pretty sensible more like. A profile pic on a dating site is meant to be flattering & show you at your best, what kind of plonker would post a picture like that.

I decided I cant take any more heave inducing pictures of genitalia, I've had it with the dirty sleazy sites, I've put a profile on POF, no pictures of penises, what a relief:)

freak, I can relate to that. I always wanted someone to adore me, in my case I grew up as a very loved and spoiled only child and just expected that as an adult someone would find me every bit as wonderful as my parents did I can remember about 5 years ago wondering if I would ever love anyone (Ex used to say I wasnt capable). And then I did meet someone who did adore me, and vice versa. It was amazing, but it didn't last. So now rather than thinking will it ever happen I find myself thinking how likely is it to ever happen again? which isnt much better really :( and i dont know if I want a relationship unless I'm going to feel like I did about him. But then the alternative is to go through the rest of my life alone, which is not an appealing prospect.

understand and echo all of that freakoid.

there are a LOT of those plonkers! seriously who thinks it's a good idea to have a profile pic that shows off your half done, long abandoned attempts at decorating in the background? and the amount of twats who think pictures of themselves pissed with pint glass and fag in foreground are a good idea....

there are some serious nobbers around.

and what about all the pictures of peoples of people's bathrooms, erection in the foreground, toilet in the back ground...or was I the only one using those sites

Just the sites you use itsalie. POF might have it's fair share of ugly baldies but at least the photos are approved.

Ovulation is always an emotional time for me, I wouldn't call it an excuse as a fact really!

In terms of feeling like someone new wont come along, When I split up with stbxh I felt like that would be it for me. Someone with four children = a LOT of baggage! I also didn't know if I would even want to go through the whole getting together with someone new and all the highs and lows that tend to go with it. But I did meet someone new and so far so good. You just cant predict such things, either way.

Freak and sponge, you both will meet someone. I can't see how not, you are both making the effort to with Internet dating. But in the meantime enjoy all the good things about being single, slog out in fluffy pyjamas, roll about the double bed, watch what you want on tv and keep positive!

All ready for my date, just got to put make up on, bit nervous but have soft lighting and nice underwear so maybe my 3.5 years being sexless may soon be over!
Just had text from ex about getting a divorce as we have been separated for two years. All you wise people will it cost much? I was going to just wait until 5 years as I have no intention of marrying again. Do we both need solicitors? Will it affect maintainance? Sorry absolutely clueless. No property or assets to divide so should be straightforward. Any answers would be greatly appreciated.

pretty hope the date goes/is going/has gone well

re divorce, 3 options really. Either get the forms from the court and fill them in yourself, use an online service such as this, or use a solicitor. Whoever files has to pay court fees of £340 and then the decree absolut is another £50 or so. If on low income/benefits you can get court fee exemption.

Ovulation is definitely the most emotional time of the month for me. PMT I get a day of rage and sometimes mildly paranoid but it's just after ovulation that I'll feel low/teary.

Stay I have to admit I'm not really making the effort since the last 2 I was chatting to disappeared on me, just can't be bothered really and there aren't many worth even chatting to on there.

I'm not really making much effort either, my heart isn't really in it tbh. Even the very best bloke on POF or whereever is but a pale imitation of what I had previously. And I know I could find someone, but I don't want just someone (if I had I could have stayed with the Evil Ex, for all that he treated me like shit he would never have finished it) I want the one. But I think I have already. Which does mean either settling for someone who is ok but who I'll never feel as strongly about. Or being on my own.

pretty i hope you've had a fab date and your post made me laugh aloud fingers are crossed for you that the reestablished virginity is lost.

ovulation is a strange one for me too - and a big difference sexually too i 'used to' find.

happy to report that fitboy-used to know him guy is really growing on me. seen him twice and liked him a bit more each time and am quite loving texting with him and things have gotten more comfy on the friend, comfortable side which is good but now also have crossed over into the flirty need to wash my mind out side too now which is goooood.

i feel i have gotten off lightly for now by someone i used to know and fancy contacting me and flirting/friending with him. though he could yet turn out to be a complete psychopath or something

keep at it everyone - if you think about it you're only looking for one person you really click with so hearing from, being with, dating, whatever loads of the wrong people doesn't mean anything - you could still meet one person great through it. likewise the emails i guess just read, delete, read, delete till you find someone who piques your interest.

says me who is rubbish at it and finds it hard to make myself feel any interest in random guys sending randomness in my inbox and reading near identical profiles.

Hello - I've been following this thread with interest as I prepare to dip my toe into the murky waters of internet dating. I am inspired by all that I have read and learnt a few things too!..Hope you don't mind me picking your brains.....basically, I met a guy on a site recently. Seems quite nice - professional, charming and my type looks-wise. We met up for a coffee last weekend which went well and have arranged to go out next weekend. Thing is, he has gone from texting daily (couple of times a day) to a trickle. Last message I got was on Friday when he said something along the lines of sorry, I have been really busy, but will call you tomorrow (meaning Saturday) and then not even so much as a call or text...is he a vanisher as mentioned above, or just not that into me? What is the norm in these circumstances? As it's all internet dating, should I just come right out and ask what's going on, or just leave the ball in his court?

Sorry, I guess I kind of know the answer already to my question here, its just that I have been single for a long time and out of the dating game for even longer, so am a bit perplexed with it all. He was texting loads after the coffee date, which is why the silence is a bit confusing. Guess that everyone is allowed to change their minds - though doesn't do much for the ego!

Think I may wait until after the new year and see what else comes up (is it an urban myth that the sites get flooded with new people? The few I am on seem to drag up the same old faces)......?

who knows testing. i think there is an element of when you've met you maybe focus more on seeing each other than the texting initially as you've crossed into rl space? it's also a bit nerve wracking as the first meet you think ooh you're alright really but i don't know, hmm... etc. i think the next time you meet will be more telling and if it goes well things might change again? try not to worry.

i'm very perplexed and always have been about this stuff too testing - think that's part of the fun isn't it?

Purple! Update!!? :)

I had a smashing evening with platonic man. Was relatively sober until we stopped off for a nightcap & it went straight to my head. We walked back to mine holding hands, it's such a shame we're not a romance... unfortunately other guys just don't really compare..

Ah well.

No news from todays potential lunch date, which is just as well, I am incredibly dehydrated...

what a shame! i hate that snapes when everything else is great but you just cannot squeeze any chemistry out of it no matter how hard you might try

starting to really fancy fitboy - he is seriously pretty hot and texting has gotten interesting, definite signs of being a pretty sexy man under initial awkwardness of meeting up. hmmmm! all good really - i haven't fancied anyone in over a year so i'm just enjoying the whole tingly turn on, glow in your tummy and smutty headedness of it at the minute! glad i can let it out on here so i can stay cool and calm with him

(as opposed to coming over as some panting middle aged mum whose gagging for it )

I am no longer a born again virgin had a fantastic night with many more to come hopefully.
He didn't seem to notice stretch marks or rice pudding tummy, you were right ladies :).
Sitting here grinning at the dog as kids are with their dad and she is the only one here :)