''I just WISH I could find someone worthy of a proper relationship instead of a long stream of fuckwits" Dating chat #6

[lubeybooby]

here we go... all dating related chat HERE!

:o

No.... Here in Australia water is at a premium, so the idea is not to waste it. Also the area where I live does not have mains sewerage, so we're on septic systems which need to be pumped out every few years. My loo was leaking and the flush mechanism was buggered, so my dear old Mum is buying me a brand new toilet pan and water saver cistern!

watch the cat is lovely thank you . She has settled in really well and is so loving and funny too, has her own little personality.

I am with you on the present thing too. I feel it more for DD than myself, she was a bit upset last year that she hadn't got a gift for me but I managed to convince her I was fine about it. Last year was pretty grim but I'm more prepared for it this year. It's a damned good excuse to buy myself a present or three though!!

Poppa A water filter?

watch I don't think you are silly feeling it at all. DD was really quite upset on my birthday that she had no one to take her to town to help her buy something for me. She kept it to herself until the actual day when she gave me a lovely handmade card. Next year I shall take her to town and let her buy me something but you know, even though I know I shouldn't I do feel angry with The Ex that he can't think about how DD feels at times like this and just spare a bit of time and cash to help her buy something. bastard twatting shitbag

Great present Poppa .

ok opinions required here, have been internet dating for a few months and actually met someone where there was a spark.

Met last Wednesday for coffee, went very well and we also went on for a good meal, he says he would like to do it again. I say yes, I hope so. As background, he is a corporate business guy, mature, sorted so I have ruled out game playing. Just one glass of wine each so not the drink talking. Normally I think if a man is interested, he will ask me out again. This one is from the US where I understand the 'rules' are different. I think either I've sent him the wrong message or he is just not interested.

So, should I contact him or not?

Texts
Him: Hi Helen just checking you made it home ok. I had a great time, hope you did too, A
Me: Thank you A, home safe and cosy. Yes, of course I had a great time, goodnight x

Next day, he sends a message on the dating site saying

Him: 'I had a good time last night, I hope you did too'
Me: 'Actually, I met a very interesting and rather good man yesterday.
He showed me a great time ;)

Verdict please

Sexy huh?

poppa - lol. bless you. i got a new slow cooker from my step dad last year, i was hugely excited! sometimes practical is good.

time - yeah, i was ok, dd wasnt really. Even the dog had more presents than me last year. Im not fussed, im not, but i need to sort it out. Its not that i dont get any - its just i get them later on in the day.
so - what are you buying yourself? :)

Very sexy Poppa.

Helen I hope he didn't think you were referring to some other man in your reply to his second message. . It does seem a bit odd that he hasn't contacted you. I know the rule is that if he doesn't get in touch then he isn't interested but in this case he did get in touch, twice, so I would say send him a message. If you don't then you will be left wondering for a while which will sort of keep you stuck.

Helena I have no idea apart from that when things are right or have a chance they tend to be easy and not leave you wondering wtf is going on and all that. Is he um... 'with it' enough to know you were talking about him in the last message? That would be my only concern...

Oh and again I agree with Time, he did message you twice so I reckon getting in contact again is fine.

I don't know watch, I shall have to give that some careful thought.

I will admit though, I have relented and bought The Ex a Christmas present from DD yes I'm fickle. It's just the kind of person I am I suppose, I think of DD, unlike him, and really don't want to lower myself to his level.

Time, by not getting a pressie you are NOT lowering yourself to his level, you would simply be refusing to have the piss taken out of you seeing as he never does the same back - and don't forget about giving you DD the choice to save a little and get him something or hand make something.. both of which are perfectly acceptable pressie wise from a kid! If it's anything food related, eat it yourself and give DD a glue stick and some glitter and stuff to set about something home made

Helena- hmm, i would say, that if he wanted to date you, then he would ask for a second date. Also, just be aware that even if somone appears ' corporate and mature' they may actually not be at all. Im my experience the more ' grown up' you think they are, they bigger twats idiots they turn out to be.

time, dont blame you, you are the bigger person and far nicer... and thats what counts.

Watch - I think that was what I was getting at. The feeling of having failed as such. But. It does take two to make a marriage and keep it going. Although I will always feel some degree of sadness on my children's part for their parents divorcing, I also feel it would be even worse to have stayed in a bad marriage for their sake.

Poppa - I adore slow cookers! I have a 6 litre one and have used it to cook all sorts! So easy!

Make - as someone in a 700 miles apart relationship, 200 miles sounds like barely anything to me! Aside from the distance though, if you don't want a long term thing just be honest with him and see what happens

Time - i won't be buying anything for stbxh this Xmas from the kids. If they want to make him something though, that's fine.

Helena - he sounds interested to me. He contacted you twice to let you know he had a good time. I think your messages were fine

Thanks for your replies. As he is off to the US for a few days end of this week, I think the direct approach rather than be still wondering again iyswim.

So, 'Hi A, I really did have a great time with you last week, would you like to go out together again? and leave it at that. Then, its over to him.

sorry, there was supposed to be a what do you think about that as a text. FFS this is sooo school girl

Thank you watch

I don't feel I failed in ether my marriage or my relationship with The Ex. I know that I exhausted all the possibilities of making it work in both cases, literally to the point of me being exhausted. The common factor in both relationships was that both men left the holding of things together to me, I did the work, the compromising, the sacrificing of myself etc in order to keep things going. Once I said 'no more', that was it. Game over.

I don't feel sadness for my children that they were/are being brought up by me as a single parent either because in both cases things were/are much improved and the kids blossomed. That reinforced for me that I had made the right decision to leave. How can I feel sad that I have happy, well rounded children

stay, ah. i see. though i do disagree that it takes two to make a marriage work and keep it going.. sometimes if one partner is being abusive, or constantly cheating then it really makes no difference what the other person is doing....

By the way, my parents stayed together but my mother was a miserable, bitter person who showed no love or respect towards my dad no matter how hard he tried. I hated my childhood and had a lousy time even with 2 parents who lived together.

That sounds fine Helena yes send it :o

Yes, go for it Helena and don't forget to report back

Let us know when you get a reply Helenina as it sounds as though he wants to meet after sending 2 messages.

I have to admit I don't feel that same guilt now. I can see friends and families marriages where they have stayed together and can see for myself the damage that is being done by 'staying for the sake of the children' so I'm glad I got out of my marriage.

I see couples in cars where she has a face like a slapped backside and he is staring off into the distance, in a world of his own and it gives me this lovely warm glow inside and a little feeling of excitement that I am single

poppa will it have a big red bow on it?

my ex-in-laws always get me a christmas stocking... that's all I get at xmas, so I buy myself some books with the child benefit

I stopped buying my ex and his gf xmas/birthday presents a couple of years ago. I always got them something nice obstentiably from the kids - they never bothered their arse, so I stopped. :)