''I just WISH I could find someone worthy of a proper relationship instead of a long stream of fuckwits" Dating chat #6

[lubeybooby]

here we go... all dating related chat HERE!

:o

That sounds like a lot more fun than buying one at the supermarket watch!

That's cool time. There are no privileged frames of reference mate. I stand by my comment ages ago... I think to some extent we have an exaggerated sense of our appeal and to others we potentially come with problems.

I think we can all only speak from our individual experiences of each site.

Of course that doesn't make you sly or devious adamschic! I was simply pointing out that the ability to be an arse is not restricted to one sex!

I guess the main thing is not to get bogged down with all the idiots. Because if you do you may just miss an opportunity with someone decent.

Have a good day all. I'm off to take a mardy 7 year old out for lunch and to buy her some clothes. Evidently her mother thinks if it doesn't have holes in it it shouldn't go to dads!

Sparks1, good idea to have presentable clothes are your place. Have a good shopping trip.

Sparks of course there are women on those sites who are arses as well, and a lot of vulnerable ones who will get too attached and then turn into bunny boiler types when treated crappily by some of the men on there. Forgive the generalisation but I think those types are likely to identify themselves with the text speak, cleavage pictures and pictures of teddies and cats on their profiles.

The male ones identify themselves with torso and cock pics, text speak again and bitter profiles slagging off the sites/women/both

Trouble arises when you get a clever one though who knows to avoid those things. All you can do is keep your wits about you and hope :o

Morning folks :)

Daisy - great to hear things are going well with your date!

Lubey - I think this time of year can be hard for lots of people for various reasons. I am glad you are feeling happier today!

Watch - hope the rum didn't give you too much of a sore head. As you say, it seems your whole relationship with this guy has been based on lies, so whilst it is painful for you, you will be better off without him in the long term. Hope you are okay though.

Hello to everyone else

I'm still sat in my pj's wasting time on the internet when there was a knock on my door. My neighbour asking me out .

Why the :( adamschic? is that the neighbour you've told before that you don't fancy? or was that someone else?

oh of course there is a 'fair-share' of daft women out there in internet-dating-land as well - obviously, i don't encounter any as i don't browse their profiles (oh god! cleavage and teddy bears!) happily all the women on this thread are, of course well rounded, non bunny-boilery, gorgeous, sorted types and the gentlemen who frequent this thread are exempt of being idiots. (until proven otherwise.... )

chin up, tits out (or chin out, tits up..) hoping especially watch & lubey are feeling bright and lovely this afternoon. :)

I'm off on a charity shop crawl with DD. :)

Gah I am frustrated.com.

PE teacher who I am chatting with at the moment still hasn't asked me out. He asked me what I was doing this weekend, I said (hint hint) that it was set to be pretty quiet, and he wrote back with what he was doing today and said he was looking forward to the christmas holidays. And that was that.

He has said in a previous message that he was yet to meet with anyone from the site as he hadn't found anyone he felt attracted enough to to pursue things with. But he then said that he thought I was 'incredibly attractive' and that 'after his more superficial instinct had subsided, he had found I was interesting and entertaining to talk to as well'.

Which is all very nice, but then why doesn't he ask me out when I practically lay it out on a plate for him by telling him I'm not doing anything this weekend? Fair enough if he's not interested but then why keep messaging me?

What to do in this situation? Move on right? Stop replying to his messages? I'm not asking him myself. If he wants a date he can man up and ask for one.

Yep, it's the one I don't fancy. Sods law.

Make, don't jump to reply to him, leave it a while then send a chatty reply in a few days.

In that situation I just keep chatting, or ask them out myself. I'm usually quite stubborn and prefer to be asked but if I really like them then I bite the bullet and sod it and ask.

I've never ever been the one to suggest meeting, and when they do I make excuses, change my mind, and generally never actually agree to a first meeting until they've asked several times. I'm not saying it's the best way of doing things but mostly I assume they're all worthy of mild contempt until proven otherwise

Good to know the traditional bloke must ask and women playing hard to get are alive and Well!!! :)

well, maybe it sounds like I'm just going with tradition here, but I like to mess them around a bit to see how they react, if they get a bit funny then I dont want to meet them. If they remain calm and polite thats a good sign.

That sounds a bit off really, itsalladirtylie. It's a game, and I can't be doing with games. I wouldn't like it one bit if someone was playing a game like that with me. Why not just be straightforward?

and good grief I'd never meet anyone if I treated them with 'mild contempt' as a default... I'm nice and just my usual self until they show any hint of twatness - then if they do I just ignore. If they don't then I meet them.

Well i know if i was messed about i'd just move straight on.Zero tolerance for people who yank my chain so to speak!

Make - If he has never met up with anyone before from a dating site, he might just be plain nervous. Its one thing speaking to someone online...entirely different actually meeting up. If i was interested in the guy, I would have just said, nothing planned, fancy meeting up? Nothing ventured nothing gained. I am not traditional though

Ahhhh just lost a big post. BAck in a bit

Make I'm with lubey and stay on this one, just ask him yourself . No game playing, we don't like it when it's done to us so it's not something we want to start doing. Anyway, there is no need, we are grown women on dating sites, joining one inevitably leads to a date, hopefully that's what people sign up for so go for it! I'm going to leave the playing hard to get bit for the bedroom department

well I see what you mean, but I dont want to waste my time meeting men who turn out to be not what I'm looking for, so I try to get some idea of his temperament via online interactions before I meet him.
You can call it game playing if you like, I'd call it negotiating and making sure no one can take the piss.
But then I'm a cynic and I dont have much time for relationships or any kind of romantic stuff

I'm getting a bit more of an understanding of POF from this thread.

itsalladirtylie- it's not you I'm meeting tonight is it?

ha ha...it aint me:)

I see where you are coming from itsalladirtylie but you could well be be pissing off perfectly nice people who see through it and just give up having thought 'whoah, crazy gameplayer... back away back away'

Of course we are all trying to suss each other out a bit on dating sites but that can be done via just normal talking and not deliberate wind ups surely?