The Owl Man goeth - Owelefs, come to my nest, bring wine

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Well,he went about a week ago...other thread on here. Apparently his online dating habit commenced when me and dd wouldn't go owl watching with him one night....We are seeing him this morning at Mac's. He texted me to say he's moving into 'a room' (cue for sympathy, no?). I text back to say does he want the spare kettle (I am already taking him the travel iron). No response for 24 hrs, so I text again, saying, well, does he want the kettle? Get a text back, as if to a stranger who is harassing him, saying no thank you, and see you at X (in other words, I shall speak to you no more, or should that be Hoot No More, until then). I am hurt and fecked off.

Tell me not to text unless it is absolutely necessary.

parsley, do not text unless it is absolutely necessary.

I think you are being a bit too nice and reasonable.

Well, you are very clever, because you just diagnosed the treatment for yourself!

Did he confess an online dating habit in the end?

But you are right to be hurt and angry. But its not about the kettle, is it? I suppose the rented room feels like a new line has been crossed.

No, just to registering five. yes. why am I thinking he might be reasonable, when he has shown feck all evidence of it so far?

You know the 'disengage' advice? I think it could reasonably be interpreted as follows, given his actions on departure from the family home, open the plug casing on the travel iron, disconnect all the wires, replace casing.

Don't text parsley

Well, I dont know. What do you mean, reasonable? How people get into relationship messes are not usually reasonable or fair, but they can be understandable, iyswim.

I wouldnt text, I would back off. And dont offer kettles ie wifely support. If he wants to talk sensibly you have relate and the saturday meets ups.

Five the 2nd paragraph makes perfect sense, the first is too much for my battered brain.

Thanks nose you are right of course....my head knows this, my heart does not have as much sense, but it will get there, cos head is the line manager of heart no?

I like snoopydoggs advice about 'tinkering' with the iron.. brilliant!

Please don't engage, he's fecked you off now which is excatly what he wanted to do...

He was a twat when he was there and he will continue to be one!!!!!

True!

Mac's not too bad, apart from when dd had gone to get sugar, and he looked deep into my eyes and said How are You? Like you care. Arse.

that's better! Hoot hoot!! He's not worthy of your care lovey - he's showing that with every thoughtless mean text.

DO ignore him and stop trying to look after him - he chose this path (he did, honestly) so let him go his way about it. He can BUY a bloody kettle if he needs one!

And for the love of mike don't get into any Deep-n-Meaningful conversations with him - he's only interested because he wants to know that you Still Care, so he can manipulate you some more. You have to learn to perfect the Art of Complete Indifference. Practise the blank stare (pretty much like an owl, ironically enough!) so that he gets nothing from you.

And have some as well. :)

Yes, will go orf and practice owl stare without blinking...but wait, he LIKES owls....

OH yes, and ONLY TEXT HIM WHEN IT'S ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY - and no other time. Ever. In fact change his name on your phone to "Is this a necessary text H". It will remind you. And make his ring tone an owl hooting, just to really piss you off.

No, he likes to listen to owls hooting - not have them staring blankly at him like he's not there. Anyway - he won't realise you are doing an owl stare, he'll just see no emotion registering and it will bug the shit out of him.

But that would mean I have to change it from Arse.

Not that you are doing it to bug the shit out of him because that would mean you actually care - you are doing it FOR YOU because it is the way to go - believe me, the more you pretend you don't care, the more you act like you don't care, the less you will actually care. It's cool!

No, just change it to "is this text really necessary Arse"

Fake it til you make it?

that's the idea, yep. It'll work, promise. :)

I take your point.

And the other Ops too- his 'thing' is alot of sympathy seeking, from what you've said, so disenging from that is good.

Thanks wom-owls ;)

here, have some more - I'm going to bed before my eyes close and I headbutt the laptop keyboard
Night! X

Thanks Thumb....you don't feel that far away....tis the power ot t'internet...night night lovely.

Or you could change it to "is this arse really necessary". The answer to which is, of course, a resounding NO.

If you don't want to be like an owl in case he likes it, try staring like a reptile instead. Cold blood and no eyelids. I do a great reptilian stare on occasion.

Mind you parsley I'm being quite reasonable myself (within reason). We are still under the same roof, and I am saying the sort of things I would say to anyone I share a house with, and sometimes getting 'reasonable' replies, sometimes getting no reply, and sometimes (especially if it's to do with finance) quite nasty replies. Still, it's better than remorse (don't think he does charm).

Long ago I used to draw pictures which were a cross between an owl and a cat, and were quite scary. Any help?