Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

999 replies

Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 15/10/2011 12:38

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

OP posts:
blossom123 · 11/11/2011 10:24

god my typing is crap today,

blossom123 · 11/11/2011 10:26

mouse glad you said something, I am new here but thought that was very odd Smile enjoy bacon buttie btw Envy

Mouseface · 11/11/2011 10:28

Morning blossom Smile

atos - I'm so sorry to read that you are struggling.

The very best part of reading your post was that you have gone for 5 whole months without a drop, you should be very very proud of that. Smile

Have you tried to talk to your DH about how his drinking affects you? To be very honest with you, his drinking really is his problem. I know that sounds harsh but you have to be selfish for your own self preservation.

Welcome to the Bus, find a seat and here Brew have one of these.

atosilis · 11/11/2011 10:31

Thanks blossom. Once when I'd just finished an hour with the CPN I saw a text on my phone saying, "Can you pick up a couple of bottles of red on the way home?"!!!!! I have an engraving on the inside of a piece of jewellery that says FESTINA LENTE which means 'Make haste slowly'. Taking it slowly is how I'm going to get there :-)

atosilis · 11/11/2011 10:32

The 5 months was in 2008 but I know I can do it again ....

atosilis · 11/11/2011 10:33

His drinking affects me very much as I am just waiting for the next stroke, he had one last year.

Mouseface · 11/11/2011 10:42

atosillis - how did you do it the last time and can I ask why you started again?

Maybe you should talk to DH about your feelings and concerns?

Zanywany · 11/11/2011 10:52

HI everyone and Hi to newbies.

Sorry not been around much. Hope you are all OK Mouse Noteven Silver Ma Indie Bafana Thurso and anyone I have forgotten.

I am doing well, have managed to lose half a stone, partly through more exercise, eating better and drinking less although I do still drink most evenings just not to the same excess anymore. DC's are really well although having problems, again, with EX and his girlfriend. I have also met someone, date no 5 tomorrow, taking it slow though.

Mouseface · 11/11/2011 11:06

Oh Zany - how nice to hear from you! Smile

Wow, you've done great by the sound of things. Sorry that X and his GF are still causing the DC issues. What is it about second marriages/long term relationships?

Does he not get it that HIS CHILDREN MUST COME FIRST!?!!??.

Idiot.

Hope the date goes well, please pop on and let us know. Smile xx

blossom123 · 11/11/2011 11:09

ato that is quite shocking, I really feel for you, how is your drinking now? My dp tried to commit suicude this year and went on a complete bender for a couple of months, how he is not dead I do not know. DP is one of those people that really does not have an off button, I just have to leave him to it, sure he is candidate for Stoke too, his mother died in her 50's from one, I have horrible feeling this can run in families. Does your partner admit he has a problem with drink?, mine is still in complete denial. I feel now at least I have admitted I have a bad relationship with alcohol and want to something about it.

WallowedInFlies · 11/11/2011 11:12

morning all Smile

yay for nemo's counting mouse!

baf i am so sorry to hear about your dad. i know you feel powerless and that's because you are - even if you were there you would be you know? it's down to him isn't it Sad

i'm afraid i'm struggling to keep up at the minute. i'm not abstaining at the minute but avoiding overdrinking too. weirdly this week my strategy has been to allow myself one drink a day at around 1pm which is actually the time i really enjoy a drink and it really is just a drink i fancy. oddly it's been working and i haven't felt like drinking more or drinking in the evening at all. i've been having a large baileys with loads of ice (someone left a bottle here as an early birthday present). if i could always drink one drink a day i'd be happy with that.

i'm soft focussing on the emotional stuff at the moment - soft as in not obsessing or getting too worked up about it all but just letting myself quietly mull on it and notice things about my avoidance and such.

gotta go and wash hair dye off my head and see if i look ridiculous or not!

Zanywany · 11/11/2011 11:24

Hi Mouse

How are Nemo, DD and the wolf doing. Are you feeling any better, I think last time I was on here you were in quite alot of pain and having blackouts, I seem to remember that they had ruled out anything too serious though.

XH is constantly saying that his DC's are No.1 but doesn't show it. He is moving in with his girlfriend soon, my DS is so unhappy about it that he says that he will refuse to visit. Both my DC's feel that they are not important to their Dad anymore and I am not surprised they feel that way after seeing how he acts. We had words last night as although he has agreed not to hit our DD I just found out that instead he kicked her on the bum, as a punishment. His girlfriend is very strict and i think she has far too much influence with regards to how he disciplines them. I often wish they could stay with me 100% of the time.

Date is very fanciable Grin

blossom123 · 11/11/2011 11:49

Zany your poor DD, how old is she?

atosilis · 11/11/2011 12:08

Mouseface: I started drinking again because I thought I could just have a glass and leave it at that. Blush

blossom123: I think he knows he has a problem because he does try and stop every now and then. It's got worse since he has been hanging round the house all day. Off switch would be good!

I'll be back on later as I'm at work.....

Zanywany · 11/11/2011 12:14

My DD is 8 Blossom and my DS is 11 it actually happened 2 weeks ago but they have only just told me, they are worried now that their Dad will be cross at them for telling me. I told them and the twat that if I ever did something like that then I would expect them to tell him.

WallowedInFlies · 11/11/2011 12:22

oh zany! you wouldn't kick a dog like that, what on earth makes a man think it's an apropriate way to treat an 8yo child!? sometimes count my blessings that ds's father has never wanted to see him, very sad for ds not to have a dad but god it's a nightmare having to pack your kids off to someone you don't trust in an environment you have no control over isn't it?

hair is not much different and not too bad. i miss my long hair a lot at the minute so fannying around with hair dye seems to be a reaction to that. feeling plump and unattractive at the minute - possibly because i started thinking about dating and maybe it was time i tried to meet people and then looked in the mirror Grin

have just realised i still have my halloween name so better go change it back.

mouse lovely lady i am leaving you a snog if you care to partake - be gentle with me it's been a long, long time...

blossom123 · 11/11/2011 12:33

Zany DS is also 11 Smile tbh I would not be putting then in situation, how bloody dare he Angry no wonder you are cross. Are you sure this is for real, you know that kids can over embellish sometimes, I know my DS does bless. Is it at all possible she would say think because she hopes you will stop her going there? Sounds like they are not keen in GF?

Zanywany · 11/11/2011 12:35

I'm with you on the hair front Wallowed I cut mine from long hair to a short bon style at the beginning of the summer and with it most of my confidence went. I hate it and can't wait until it grows back. I dread picking them up after his half of the weekend as I know they will be upset as they have been the last few.

Mouseface · 11/11/2011 13:23

Zany - I am appalled by your XH's behaviour and I would suggest that if the DC don't want to go and see him, don't make them. I have had issues with DD and her father of late, so much so that now if he wants to see her, he asks her and then has to come here to get her and drive back to drop her off.

DH used to meet XP half way at the services but he messed us about so much, I put a stop to that. It's never easy but you have to do the right thing for your DC, not your XH! Grin

Still in pain and now have an appointment with a Neurologist at the end of this month, no idea what's going on but no blackouts (touch wood) for a while, just dizzy spells and headaches.

Nemo is ace. DD is getting taller by the hour and Wolfy may well have a little friend to play with. We're looking at a rescue dog tomorrow, he's coming here for a while...... (I know, I know, I have enough on my plate but he's lonely) Sad

Zanywany · 11/11/2011 13:33

I have told my DC's that if they ever feel that they don't want to go to their Dad's then I won't make them and I will explain things to their Dad. He wants them on New Years Eve but they are both saying that they won't go as they want to stay with me and my family so I'm going to talk to him this weekend. I am still amazed that he kicked her but he seems to be under his girlfriends influence more and more these days and I know from experience that he can be aggressive and was violent towards me once.

Glad to hear your blackouts have stopped but sorry to hear your still in pain.

We said that we would get another dog once ours is 5 so she would have company, at the moment I don't think I could cope with a puppy and a 2 year old who still thinks she is a puppy Grin

Mouseface · 11/11/2011 13:45

I have told my DC's that if they ever feel that they don't want to go to their Dad's then I won't make them and I will explain things to their Dad.

I tried that, but amazingly at the same time he lost the ability to listen. He has two children from his first marriage who never see him, says it all really. I didn't think that you would make them go actually, sorry Blush xx

Zanywany · 11/11/2011 13:52

It's heartbreaking to see them upset over it. I have tried to talk to him in the past about how they feel and he tells them he loves them and that they mean the world to them but then as they say 'he only says it, he doesn't show it'. I can tell they feel insecure as they often ask me questions to test how much they mean to me e.g. if you met Mr Perfect would you love us more or him / When you were in love with Dad did you love us more or him. Luckily I have a very close relationship with them and when I tell them they will always be my No.1 no matter what happens or who I meet then they believe me because of my actions not just my words.

thurso1 · 11/11/2011 23:13

Heloooo

Crikey, it's the Gerald Celeste on here tonight. I hope Horridbabydoll hasn't got to everyone (oh no, I've scared myself now).

I got back at about 10.30 from quite a long drive seeing a friend, and was very tired, and after the week I've had, blah, blah really fancied stopping off and then having a bottle or so glass of wine, then remembered that Dh is out on a curry (end of the cricket season Confused ) night, and I still might yet have to pick him up from the station.

Long, hot shower, in my nightie, and so wound up I won't sleep for ages, so off to my book.

I hope you are all ok tonight, drinking or not. Be safe and take care, my friends.

xxxx

thurso1 · 11/11/2011 23:14

I didn't shower in my nightie Grin.

thurso1 · 12/11/2011 00:11

Hmm, back from the station,

Dh very squiffy after 3 pints, bloody lightweight, lucky thing, quite endearing really, it's his "once a year day" Shock, just wish I could be like that.

Anyway, he has gone up to bed, and I am still reading my book (you know why Ma).

Have good sleeps all.