The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Devilish Demon Drink Into Touch This Hallowe'en!. Mwahahahaha!

[Mwahahahahahahahouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse, well normally! [hgrin]

Welcome to the Bus. We are a mixed bunch of Babes, some of us drink, some of us don't and some of us are trying to find out the best way to cut down or stop completely.

There is plenty of room on the Bus for everyone so, come say hi. [hsmile]

And, if you'd like to see what brought us all here, you can read all of the past threads, including the original one by JWN RIGHT HERE

Evening babes and new babes and MIF

Looks like there are a few in the same boat at the moment, facing similar struggles.

For me, it is really important not to have alcohol in the house that I might drink. It's just easier not to have it handy. The shop is a couple of minutes walk away but the action of making the decision to go out and buy it, getting shoes and coat on, finding money, etc. is enough to make me think twice and recognise that it is just a craving and will pass.

If DH wants it he can have beer or whisky in and it doesn't bother me, I won't touch it. But I can ask him to not buy wine and he will respect that.

If your partner drinks and insists on having alcohol in the house the least they can agree to is to not offer you any. If they are deliberately trying to sabotge your efforts, then it's time for a serious talk, I think.

So, I agree with MIFLAW, if the drink is poured, don't even think about it, tip it straight down the sink, get a clean glass and pour some lime and soda (or whatever) over ice with a slice of lemon and have that instead.

I used to buy ice by the bagful and top my non-alkie drink up all evening. It just replacing one habit with another.

And remember it is just ONE DAY. Anyone can not drink for one day, can't they?

Today I will not be drinking

Mouse well done on resisting you little star

Hello everyone. I appreciate the advice about cold turkey but I'm not quite ready yet. I'm going to halve my units tonight and as I live in the middle of nowhere and wouldn't dream of drink driving there is only that in the house. I will try to knock off a unit every few days. How fucked up is this thinking? It has NOTHING to do with crystal glassware and a good meal. It's cheap White or cider full of artificial sweeteners that I literally force down and quite often these days retch after doing so. It's drug abuse and so far from what a normal drinker does I can hardly believe it. I know if I go cold turkey I'll be petrified tonight and I have no coping mechanisms yet. I hope to be permanently t total by Xmas. I hope I get there

Just concentrate on today Leather. Cutting your units is a good idea. What will you have instead. You need to plan your non-alcohol drinks too. And have some tasty treats to nibble on, maybe some chocolate. Find something to do with your hands. Maybe get stuff ready for tomorrow?

Hi to all the new Babes, welcome along.

I have been here for over a year (I was BBwannaB for those who have read back) and was in just the same boat, drinking LOTS every night, had done for years and years and years. I stopped for a day when I joined, just to see if I could do it. Next day I woke up without a hangover and decided to have another go. And again the next day, days turned to weeks, weeks to months, months to over a year now.
It wasn't easy, oh no, but I just kept going one day at a time.

You have to start with day 1.
You have to have a plan, fill your fridge with lovely soft drinks, fill your cupboards with treats, crisps, nuts, chocolate.
I actually put on weight initially due to the industrial quantities of cola and chocolate I was consuming, but I still felt a hell of a lot better with no hangover, no acid stomach, no retching, no shame, no self loathing.
Now I feel really good, proud of myself, healthy, slimmer. Life is still difficult at times, work is Stressful (capital S), but since nothing is improved by alcohol (except perhaps a casserole) I cope so much better with the shitty bits of life.
Please stay on board and give it a go, you may amaze yourself!

Bproud ( and you should be) that is an amazing story and a brilliant inspiration. I suspect that I will put on weight initially as I really am not sure I can tackle both wine and food.

Leatherette, I think you are being so brave and I hope you get there too

Hi fairenuff and beproud. I feel determined but terrified so I'm keen to hear what you have to say. Are you happier? Or just less scared of dying?

Leatherette the answer is both.

I am 50 and I was worried that I might have a stroke or get Liver disease and everyone wiould think/say it was my own fault and my children would be ashamed.
I thought I was coping pretty well, would consider myself a functioning alcoholic, but I now realise I wasn't firing on all cylinders in any part of my life.
But the biggest effect has been on my mental health, I hated myself really, I felt weak and hopeless, ashamed of myself. I feel really good about myself now, I'm not perfect and have some grumpy and low days, but I like myself now, hence the name change, I am proud of myself now.
It is frightening to make such a big change, but it has got to be worth a try.

I was just making my tea (Twinings lavendar flavoured Earl Grey, great if you like 'perfumed' drinks like I do) and I thought I hadn't mentioned the money I am saving, which I am lucky enough to be able to spend on treats for myself.

I would never have justified spending £££ on make up before because unlike Cheryl Cole I felt I wasn't worth it
Silver recommended Bare Minerals makeup which is fab but pricey, I'm soo worth it now

Oh bproud that's so inspiring. I want to like myself. I hate my lazy sick life. I hate that I couldn't get my children to hospital if they needed me to after a certain time. Ihave regular blackouts. My children are used to total mess. They walk around piles of clothes waiting to be put away and half done diy. I'm tired

It's much easier for your body to cope with alcohol when you are younger. I found that I could drink a lot in my twenties and thirties and barely feel the effects the next day. But into my forties I felt worse and worse each time I drank and it was getting to the point where the night before was not worth the morning after! My body was telling me it had had enough.

Physically I become very overweight, terrible skin, red eyes, yellow patches, thin veins on the face, bad pms, possible early menopause hot flushes too. (Blimmin' gorgeous I am ). I decided to cut right down. Then found that I couldn't.

Every morning I would wake with a raging thirst, headache and feeling of self disgust. I vowed not to drink that day. By 6.30 I was heading to the shop to get wine. I could not understand why I kept doing it. I just couldn't do it.

Then I found this bus.

I took the advice I found here on how to beat the cravings. Find your triggers. HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), find alternative non-alcohol drinks, stock up on sweet treats, find other things to do, remember the craving will pass. Take it ONE DAY at a time.

That was the start of where I am now, in control. That's my honest story. Hope it helps.

Regarding putting on weight through eating. Don't worry about that for now. Just sort the drinking out first. Other things you want to achieve in life will follow.

It's happening for me now and it's the best thing I could have done.

Sounds like you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, this could be your moment. Give it a go!
Have you had some drinks tonight? If you have, stop now, do the Drill, which is large glass of water, clean your teeth (twice if needs be) and put your PJs on. Then make your PLAN for tomorrow, buy your treats in the morning, so you are all set.
The babes bus is always on the road, so hop on early tomorrow evening and we will hold your hand through the evening.

Gosh HALT is an eye opener - I am generally all 4! Do you look any better now fairenuff? I look bad - I want to believe my eyes can look clearer very much - the 'whites' are beige.

Bproud - I've had 1 bottle of wine - this I'm ashamed to say is progress. I normally drink till I pass out which has a worryingly
Accurate and consistent number of units from a wine box. I normally drink almost everything from a wine box in 2 days. I bought wine in a glass bottle tonight for the first time in years. It is all gone and I'm wondering how on earth to go to sleep - it's a skill I don't have. I pass out - it is what i do.
Bproud you sound happy - I would like to learn from you

Fairenuff - your story is so positive . This bus might save my childrens mummy

No-one ever died from not being able to sleep, you'll be OK and believe me, I do see that drinking a bottle of wine is progress from the wine box.
If you can't sleep do something productive (but safe) instead, tidy a drawer, fold some clothes, match up some socks? It will give you a sense of acheivement.

so lovely to hear people's success stories. leatherette - well done on the massive cut down tonight. maybe in amongst your treats you buy tomorrow you could buy a herbal sleep remedy or something.

Leather you have no idea what a treat is in store for you.

I look and feel 100% better. In just over 4 months I have lost weight, gained energy, am focussed, in control, enjoying my healthy lifestyle. I have cut back so much I now only drink on selected weekends and holidays. And then I rarely drink as much as a bottle. I think about my drink and make choices. And I am loving the hangover-free days like you wouldn't believe!

Sometimes it all goes pear shaped and I lose my way for a few days, but this bus helps to steer me back. Not everyone can cut back. Some need to stop completely. But once you get used to not drinking, this is not so daunting and scary an idea. In fact, it's quite appealing. But I am getting ahead of myself here.

Bproud talks a lot of sense. Just deal with the here and now. You have stopped drinking now. Have a cup of tea (mine's fennel and peppermint), or clean your teeth. Have a bath, or sort out a small job you want to get done. Put your PJs on. Have a big glass of water.

hi all. still here. still drinking.

Inspirational stories on here. Think I am better at lurking than posting as don't feel I have much to offer.

Leather you are so brave .

I am going to bed - no drink today but have eaten a whole box of cream cakes (6) and a packet of chocolate digestives.Feel sick. And dd1 who is 15 first had a go at me because she wants a new dress for a party,then wanted to borrow one of mine,but it was of course way too big and when I said she couldn't take it in,told me I should get out more and stop eating like a pig and that I am jealous of her figure.......

Very hard not to get the scotch out.Will brush teeth and put electric blanket on.

Hello dementedma - I am in no position to give advice but I must say I have had half of my normal amount and was DESPERATE for more. I just cleaned my teeth and I'm now in bed and I can feel the sheets and it's actually rather lovely. It's like that bit when you want desperately to sleep in the morning but you have to get up. - but I can sleep! I'm feeling ok - I'm not silly enough to think I'll sleep through but I will sleep now. Perhaps you could clean your teeth and get into bed dementedma? Nothing to stop you getting up again if it's not pleasant?

Piranha don't you just love teenage girls

You have plenty to offer btw, you never know who is lurking, reading your post and nodding along thinking, yep, that's me.

Well done on not drinking (and not being sick after all those cakes).

Ma am loving your honesty again. x

Goodnight Babes, see you all tomorrow.
Ma stay with us, lovely x

Pirhana - gracious what on earth makes you think what you wrote wasn't relevant? Why lurk? If nothing else on a purely selfish note I'm day 2 of not even giving up but thinking about giving up and I want people to talk to!!! You had cream cakes, I had wine - you have much to tell me!!! Your daughter is frustrated about a dress and 15 - she's doing what 15 year olds are meant to do. You're doing brilliantly

Well done leather - for cutting back, for getting into bed early, for daring to hope. It is worth it, it really is.

The way I see the HALT thing is that I had got so used to medicating EVERYTHING with alcohol that I had lost sight of what it was I truly needed. So if I felt tired - I'd have a drink, if I was lonely - I'd have a drink. You get the picture (and of course it was never A drink!).

Now if I feel like a drink I try to work through the list - maybe I'm hungry/thirsty, so I have something to eat and a drink of juice; maybe I'm angry, so I write down what I'm pissed off about or go for a stampy walk or shout at the sky; maybe I'm lonely, so I try phoning a friend or texting someone; maybe I'm tired, so I halve a bath to unwind or relax with a book. And guess what? I usually find that by the time I've done that lot, the need for a drink has gone away a lot.

venus your posts helped me so much, and they still do. I hope your dd is recovering well and you have been able to rest and recover too.

Night Brave babes x

BOING!!

just came to say cheerio and see you all in 2 weeks! however, i have just read todays posts and feel the need to add my ha'pence worth! - i think everyone knows my 'back story' , my life (and my dhs and dds) were at rock fucking bottom, (so i thought, knowing what i know now i see i could have fallen a bloody further which is too scary to think about) - anyways, i last drank on 30th may 2010 - i cannot begin to describe the difference that being sober for the last 17 months have made - i have done it a day at a time, sometimes hourly at a time, i have cried, thrown myself about, sulked and generally behaved like a spoilt bitch, gradually though, the fog i was living in has lifted - i now live the life i should have been living for all those years, i wake up with a bit of boing , i can cope with the everyday crap without going into meltdown, i enjoy, hmm, what do i enjoy?, just about everything tbh, i see the day through to the end, ON MY TERMS, something i hadnt done for a very long time - dh and i have been through some rocky times over the last year or so, its getting better, the respect is returning, the love growing stronger, my wonderful daughter is the light of my life, she wants to spend time with me now, chats and laughs and shares her life with me, that means more that i can possibly articulate.

one thing i have learnt is that only I could have done this, what started off as an exercise in pursuading my dh not to leave me, has turned into a wonderful, life enhancing 'thing' iyswim? I have wanted it so much that I keep going, even when for two pins i could pick up a bottle and get totally shit-faced. my nana had a saying 'never keep your wishbone where your backbone ought to be', its absolutly true, you cant wish yourself sober, you have to activley grasp sobriety by the balls, work at it, never give up!

if i can do it, and believe me, i have no magic wand, no special powers, just me and my determination, then i promise that anyone can do it!

so my lovely babes, im off on hols, tbh, im worrying a bit about the 'all inclusive' aspect, but i will take it a day at time, enjoy having dh all to myself for a bit, without the phone ringing all the time (im certain i wont be tempted to drink on the flight, after all these months i think it would go straight to my head and i would end up on the front page of the Sun, being escorted off after trying to snog the pilot and having tucked my skirt in my knickers! )

be good babes and remember

TODAY WE WILL NOT BE DRINKING!