Plenty of Fish, yes, but where are the men? Dating chat thread #4

[lubeybooby]

A new one (again)

Dating, internet dating, all kinds of dating.... chat about it here.

Off you go! :o

quick one from me as posting when I should be working

agree 100% with adams re dubai. even if he was Bradley Coopers double I wouldnt, not with a man who offers on the first date. I remember a thread on here couple of years back from a poster who got taken on a fancy holiday with a guy she hadnt known that long/wasn't 100% about and it all turned into a bit of a nightmare - def a cautionary tale...

have exchanged nos now with a guy from POF. A date is in the offing, although bit difficult as he works most nights. bit cautious given what he does, but he seems v polite so might prove me wrong :)

I have no single male friends who are not either gay or terrified of women, so sorry Time I'm no help!

lubey go for it! Challenge him. Buy him a TV guide and show him what he is missing .

In all seriousness though, I am finding some of the blokes seem a bit impossible to please. I know I have my standards but I don't have a check list and when I read the profiles or they tell me what they are looking for it puts me off even going for a coffee, they are far too rigid in their thinking. Even Friday's date, he had a list, 'magic' being one of the things on it. Put's me right off tbh. I want to have a bit of fun while dating, not feel like I'm being interviewed.

zany sadly, I fear your friends would be too young for me

Thinking of putting myself on Freecycle sponge. Well done on the number swapping/date in the offing. POF is not doing it for me right now, in fact, I'm a bit worried at the kind of guys I'm attracting. I wonder if I need a new mirror or something because I'm sure I should be doing better

I recently uploaded a new profile pix on POF Time which I don't think is particularly brilliant but I prefer it to the othere on there and I have to admit I seem to be getting messages from guys that are more fanciable, as well as the same old drivle. Maybe get a friend to take some pix for you.

Disclaimer - not saying there is anythin wrong with your pix as you look lovely and should be queing up with Mr Rights [happy]

Managed to pin Geordie down to give me a definitive answer, asked what he was thinking and he said the distance is still an issue - wanker!

Either he is really lazy or he doesn't want to give the real reason ie just not into me - funny how 4 dates in 6 days he didn't feel the need to share that and how when I asked would he still want to be around after my work trip and he said absolutely - humph

Had an amazing week away and now on a downer. Have added my pics back on to POF and unhid my profile

Sorry to hear that MsCello, try not to take it personally as it probably not you at all otherwise why would he have come across as so keen

Thanks Zany I know what you mean I'm attracting 'homely' kind of men, men who want to settle down. These same men describe me as 'nice and natural' so maybe I need a bit of a less boring 'natural' pic? I've got purple blackcurrant hair now too so do look different. DD is my official photographer so will get her on the case this weekend

MrsC I agree with Zany, don't take it personally, it's says far more about him than it does about you. I would cut contact now, leave him to it, you may find that with a bit of space he changes his way of thinking and comes seeking you out. Don't be on a downer, no man is worth spoiling a pretty face for

Oh my word! Just had the 3rd identical message from the same guy in 24 hours. If at first you don't succeed in getting a reply, try and try again. The get yourself blocked!

How can you not take it personally? If he liked me then he wouldn't be crying off

Wish I knew what these poxy men wanted lol

ms cello - thats abit crap of him really, though i supose, no different to lubey having a few dates and then working out what she wants. Maybe he wasnt sure, byt enjoyed your company, but then when it came down to it, the practicalities got in the way. Not your fault, and probably not his, just a case of the situation. I wouldnt take it personally.

Charlotte - no way would i even consider going, not for a seond, nice to be asked, but hell no.

Time - change your pics often, it does make a difference. Also, there are new people on there all the time, so you never know when somoeone interesting is going to come up.

Snape - im so pleased you are still talking to him, thats fab.

sponge- if he asks, go :) wear your dress!!!

Ive done the friends first thing in the past, when i was a lot younger. AWFUL! He was my best friend and should have been left as such. The relationship didnt last and then he didnt get on for years and years. We are good friends again now, but it literally took about 10 years. I would have been better to just leave it simmering under the surface, as it still is. but we both know to leave well alone.

So, the metal rocker man msn'ed me while i was online last night. Asked how i was, i said fine, and then he just waffled on for about 30 mins, with no replies from me at all. I didnt bother replying in the end and just blocked and deleted.
Same as that policeman text me the other day. i replied. he replied, i replied and then didnt hear anythign more.
Can some explain why men do this?
Its bloody strange behaviour if you ask me.

mrs cello - yes, he really might.
If its just not workable, or something he really wants to do, then its down to him. not you.
Same as AD, and then date im going to cancel. i do like him, but there is litttle point in having a date, because its got no legs.
Maybe he just thought it was better to end it before it really got started.

Time I wonder if its the same guy that keeps emailing me, npower00?

MrsC if he is using distance as a reason then choose to accept that rather than let your mind go into overdrive thinking it must be you. The guy could have ishoos! It doesn't have to be anything to do with you, so you choose to believe it isn't. Simples!

watch I will do that, thank you. I do tend to leave the same pics up there for ages, until I delete my profile in fact. I will sort that this weekend and see what happens.

As for men and their behaviour, some of them just are strange, full stop! They don't seem to place the same emphasis on texting/keeping in regular contact as we do, that's for sure. For instance, I can't simply not text, I have to end a conversation otherwise I feel rude. Men obviously do not think the same way. They don't have a bloody clue on how to woo a woman do they??

Ha ha

Maybe my new profile pix are a bit too revealing and thats why I'm getting more messages.

Just received. God damn your boobs are out of this world' and then another one to say 'nice tits'

zany this one is called Mark-h-628. He is blocked now so he won't be sending the message a fourth time!

ah. s does. though i didnt reply to his last one last nihgt, i woke up to one that said ' you have falled asleep... nightx'
which was quite sweet. He seems like a nice guy and he looks nice, if not my usual type. and we have exchanged a grand total of 1007 text messages since wedneday. Plus 2 90 min conversations. The man talks more than me. But hes talking TO me, rather than AT me, which is a big difference.

zany - take the compliments, shallow as it maybe. then change it :)

You've hit the nail on the head Watch with talking to rather than at someone, unfortunately Mr Body falls into the AT category.
Is S the one your not sure about seeing due to distance.

Spreadsheet please

and stay - it wasnt me with the wax. hell no! NEVER going to happen.
im a dab hand with a razor. which, it far far easier, and quicker and saves embarassment.

I'm glad it's not just me who doesn't venture near the wax. I was beginning to feel like a bit of a freak!

I'm excited, just spoken to the RSPCA about adopting a cat. I am on my way to becoming a proper cat lady! Who needs a man, eh?

no, S is the one that im a bit besotted like a lot. and have moved the date forward a week to this thursday.
Not my type looks wise at all. and no guitars in sight.
But hes really nice, and we havent stopped talking, and i hope it goes well. Hes already asked for a second date. but pinch of salt and all that.

Yeah, huge difference between talking to someone and being talked at. I dont want to me talked at. i want someone to talk to me.

We need some kind od daily update i think.. dony you have a date tonight as well?

waxing hurts!
and you have to wait for hair to grow quite long before you can do it, id rather just whip it off with a razor in about 3 seconds.

im just going to throw this out there. i dont like cats all that much.
:)

The guy I'm texting now want to phone me for a chat. This is not good. I hate speaking to people I don't know on the phone (in a social situation - am fine with work stuff), makes me v v uncomfortable.

Frankly I'd rather just meet him for a date (however bad!) than speak to him even for 5 mins on the phone.

I am weird I know :)

Its been postponed to next Tuesday as he has top work late, chatted for quite a while on the phone last night and he seems the sort to talk TO you. Said he will phone/text in the meantime. He is on POF as madmax1970, let me know what you think.

Plus judging from his texts he doesn't have a lot to say for himself (other than to be v polite, and tell me how nice I am...). Therefore I will feel I have to keep the conversation going, which is difficult as I have no small talk. Sigh.

This is why I never go on dates and will never get a shag bf again!