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Original poster

Plenty of Fish, yes, but where are the men? Dating chat thread #4

999 replies

lubeybooby · 12/10/2011 15:14

A new one (again)

Dating, internet dating, all kinds of dating.... chat about it here.

Off you go! :o

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DirtyDawg · 12/10/2011 17:15

Hello everyone,

Thought I would come back and give you all an update, am I ever glad i joined POF, my new DP is absolutely fabulous, he's kind, generous and I adore him...........goes to show that internety dating can work out, we have so much in common it's unreal.

I'm still a bit Hmm about the speed of it but it all feels very right, no red flags popping up at all, just wanted to share a good news story with you all, hope you have all been fishing and had a few bites Grin

stayforappledunking · 12/10/2011 17:17

Why is it that its always women that are meant to be cheap and easy if they sleep with a bloke on the first date?! Very good point Time. I know a few men that go about sleeping with all and sundry yet its the women that are referred to negatively. Angry

stayforappledunking · 12/10/2011 17:18

Great news DirtyDawg! Happy relationship wishes! :)

adamschic · 12/10/2011 17:19

I wouldn't personally, it's still the first time you've met no matter how much you think you 'know' him. Depends what you want from it, if you are happy that it might be a one off then fine. If you want to build a relationship then it's worth waiting a bit.

adamschic · 12/10/2011 17:20

Cross post. Well done Dirtydawg and thanks for giving us all hope. Grin

PoppaRob · 12/10/2011 17:20

Time, the only judgement I've ever made of anyone I've had sex with was on their sexual performance and our sexual compatibility, not their character. I know a lot of women think guys judge them, and some guys say they do but that's because they think it's what women want to hear.

Makeyerowndamndinner · 12/10/2011 17:23

Aw congratulations DirtyDawg

And as far as the double standards thing goes, I find it is the men who sleep around who are the worst judges of women who do the same! It's because they don't like women - so a) they see them as sex objects to be used and discarded, and b) they think women who won't conform to stereotypical gender contraints regarding sexuality are the pits.

I wouldn't want a man like that anyway.

So yeah, sod it. If I want him I'm going to have him and be damned!

stayforappledunking · 12/10/2011 17:30

Make - I dont personally think that sleeping with someone on the first date means less chance of a relationship...I did with my STBXH...we were married nearly 8 years, together for 9. In terms of S, with a day or so of him leaving he was 'relationshipping' me (his words!). Maybe its luck of the draw. Who knows.

Original poster
lubeybooby · 12/10/2011 17:32

I agree in principle re: double standards and just going for it and and all that but I think with internet dating especially there are men who are specifically pretending they want a relationship when actually they just want a shag. I don't want to make it easy for those types. Obviously not all internet dating men are like that but if they are good blokes they won't mind waiting a little bit... but the players and liars will and will fuck off leaving me unsullied by their crap intentions Wink

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prettypurpledaisy · 12/10/2011 17:35

I have my first POF date on Friday and am really nervous, he seems nice but I am new to the dating game having been on my last date 18 years ago (first date with exh, and that was to a football match!).
Not sure how it will work out.

Original poster
lubeybooby · 12/10/2011 17:35

I went for it first or second date with all the men I've had relationships with, but only one of those was from an internet date.

Internet dating is a slightly different kettle of fish i think because of the purposeful liars and twats around.

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Makeyerowndamndinner · 12/10/2011 17:35

I've also had relationships grow from first night sex Stay. I think ultimately it's about the connection between you. If it's there and it's good then first night sex is not going to stop things from progressing.

Original poster
lubeybooby · 12/10/2011 17:36

Ohhh good luck daisy! I hope it goes well for you :o

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prettypurpledaisy · 12/10/2011 17:37

Thank you lubeybooby am terrified Grin.

TimeForMeIsFree · 12/10/2011 17:38

Could someone decipher this message for me please, "
Hi After reading ur profile. If it wasent written down there you can tell you are a typical scorpion. Nothing qrong
with that. But its only a scorpion who knowz how to handle treate wa scorpion right. Remember the frog nd the
scorpoin.. Regards alan

Sent from enockengland in POF land. Grin

PS he's yours if you wanna him girls!

Original poster
lubeybooby · 12/10/2011 17:39

Make sure you come back and update us, good bad or meh Wink

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Original poster
lubeybooby · 12/10/2011 17:40

Time lmfao :o I have NO idea wtf he is going on about. Bless him (or not)

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wrigglytummy · 12/10/2011 17:43

Time what a cracker, lucky you. Sometimes I despair!

TimeForMeIsFree · 12/10/2011 17:43

I can't comment on first date sex because I've not done it. Yet! Grin

Good luck fro Friday daisy, hope it all goes well Smile

Makeyerowndamndinner · 12/10/2011 17:43

I think you've got a really good point there Lubey.

But I think WRT my situation, if it was just a shag he was after, he would have met me long ago. He's been holding back because he's worried that a relationship would be too difficult due to distance, and me not really wanting any more children (he doesn't have any kids.)

On the other hand, in his mind he may be thinking, 'well I've made it perfectly clear that I have doubts about how a real relationship might work out and she still wants to meet up, so fuck it I'll just go for it.' I don't know what's going on in his mind. But I'm too damn curious about this person I've experienced such online chemistry with for so long not to take the opportunity of meeting them.

I'm not going in with expectations of it turning into a long-term relationship - I'm just going with an open mind and seeing how things go. It's been a long time!

TimeForMeIsFree · 12/10/2011 17:43

You've got to hand it to me girls, I can't half pull em! Grin

TimeForMeIsFree · 12/10/2011 17:47

Make stop over thinking! That's an order! Wink You don't have a clue what he's thinking but there is as much chance he is thinking something good and positive as he is thinking something less so. He must obviously think you are worth the wait, the distance and the effort.

Don't go with any expectations whatsoever, just go along to meet a nice man and have a good time, relax and see what happens. Enjoy it!!!!!!!!

Snapespeare · 12/10/2011 17:48

the frog...and....the...scorpion? Hmm

:) at starwars refs. my platonic male friend just left me his lightsabre in his will (he's going into hospital for an op...

nice chatting with the player tho'. i'll see where it goes..

Makeyerowndamndinner · 12/10/2011 17:58

Ha ha yes, you're absolutely right Time, I shall stop overthinking this second!

As for this frog and scorpion business... er what?

Original poster
lubeybooby · 12/10/2011 18:15

Make I take back one of my earlier statements actually. With my internet dating philosophy, thinking about it a bit more if he has hung around talking to you a while then yeah I reckon it's more likely he isn't meeting you just for sex. Also what Time said... stop overthinking Wink

I've sent a few messages today. I think I must have duff bait at the moment though not getting any replies at all! Hmpf.

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