Uknowme, my middle relationship with a bloke was a violent one. I call it middle because it wasn't the first man I lived with. I first lived with a man (age 26) at 17 and we had the usual spiteful rows. He came back at me once!, I hit him with a frying pan and he put his hand up to defend himself. I had a small bruise on my chin. I was quite proud of this bruise. Everyone treated this bloke as the w**ker he was. Little did I know.
My middle relationship was somewhat different. I met this guy who was 'very in the 'in' crowd' and fell in 'lurve'. This fella was everything you would ever want in a bloke at my age and then some. I was 22 and he was polite to parents, thoughtful with gifts, soooo popular on the London club scene (I never queued), made me laugh, strong manly etc etc. After a while I wondered why the fuck I had such a good man. As soon as it became serious I knew why he had never held down a relationship. After all he was 32. It started with the fact that he was drunk one night and I was having sex with him. I was on top and he mumbled this mates name (female). I jumped off, not even shouting, and he leapt up and grabbed my wrist. I mean really hard (he had long nails). He swore it was because he was pissed and it would never happen again!!! I still have a small scar on my wrist over this!
We moved together to a small village to 'housesit' a place. Owner abroad, beautiful house, location superb etc (the owner is no longer a friend of mine as he opposed the behaviour of my 'boyfriend' at the time).
I am not going to go into too much detail about this as it's very boring. I was there for a year. But the final time I left that house was in an ambulance on it's way to intensive care. My fractured skull, ribs, arm, fingers. Everything broken.
He was nicked, put on remand.
BUT he wrote me the sweetest letter and I actually visited him. I had moved back to London by then, but I was still totally enthralled by this bloke. He was released and luckily for me, wasn't happy about us reuniting as he was concerned for himself. He said he might kill me next time. So he dumped me. To say I was devastated was mild. I tried to kill myself several times. It took me years & years to get over this.
I am with a bloke now that knew all of this crap and when he first met me knew that I had baggage. I have to say since we got married 4 years ago I have never been so happy in my life which was complete after the birth of DS 7 weeks ago. For the first year of our relationship I was lusting after the 'nutter' I think. I have been with my DH for 9 years now and I find it very hard to wonder why the hell I was with such a prat. It takes time but you get over it. Good luck
Now, I am thank god, with a totally normal guy who loves me