uknowme - I felt exactly the same and in a lot of ways still do. Even now I would love to be able to get into bed with him, have him tuck the baby up and just snuggle to sleep. Except I know that's not the way it would really be. It would really end up in me having to settle the baby, even if I was exhausted, then getting into bed only to have a discussion that lasted hours and ended up making me feel lousy.
Yes, things can seem good sometimes and that's what you really miss when you end the relationship. But if you know that those times are false, what good does it do you in the end? I still miss the times we had together that seemed good but when I think about all the lies, guilt-trips, cruelness, deceit, loneliness etc that I had to take, even the 'good times' were obviously fake.
Problem is that life is never easy and doing the right thing doesn't mean it feels good. But at least now I know I'm living the life I want to live and basing my life on truth, instead of constantly having the rug pulled from under me by being deceived.
It hasn't been a week yet since I left DH, this week has been lousy because I've had dd to look after, I've had flu, had DH to see and had to deal with all the practical stuff like solicitors. So naturally it's all getting me down a bit but I still feel really hopeful, knowing that I'm not in constant danger of being verbally or physically attacked and that things can and will only get better from here.
Decide how YOU want your life to be like and do everything you can to achieve that. If that means changing everything, it's what you should do.