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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

999 replies

Mouseface · 03/10/2011 10:24

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are. Smile

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

OP posts:
MsGee · 04/10/2011 10:01

Oh Mouse ((( )))

helpmenow · 04/10/2011 10:01

Xposted with Mouseface

So sorry- look after yourself.

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 10:05

Hi, I'm new on this thread, don't know if it is a good time to join with what mouse is going through, I'm so sorry about your friend mouse. I have been following you for months but never plunged the courage to join. Tell to butt out and I will.

helpmenow · 04/10/2011 10:11

shaketheshame Don't you dare butt out!

Thank you for joining us.

obrigada · 04/10/2011 10:13

Mouse, so sorry to hear about your friend Sad.
Shake, it's never a bad time to join the bus, welcome aboard.
Ma, am going to join you in your weight loss campaign

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 10:24

Thank you, you are kind.How shall I start ? Man it is hard Sad

obrigada · 04/10/2011 10:27

Tell us as much or as little about yourself Shake, whatever you feel comfortable with.

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 10:34

I drink every evening and alcohol is really bad for me as I completely lose control and I'm horrible to my dh. I'm booked for allen carr stop drinking seminar, he helped me to stop for the cigarette so I'm going to give it a go.

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 10:38

I can't stop drinking, I know it is bad but I can't stop. On the top of it, I have bad pmt every month which is worst because of alcohol. I'm citalopram for depression. I put on 3 stones in 3 years. My appearance is dreadful. I have no energy.I have a very low self-esteem.

Zanywany · 04/10/2011 10:53

Morning everyone

obrigada · 04/10/2011 11:09

Morning Zany:)
Shake, how much do you drink every evening? Are you planning on stopping before your seminar?

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 11:19

I drink one bottle an evening without a fail..I'm planning on trying to calm down yes but it is so hard :-(

jesuswhatnext · 04/10/2011 11:25

BOING!!!!

obrigada · 04/10/2011 11:29

Morning JWN:)
When you say you drink a bottle an evening Shake, do you mean a bottle of wine or ??

ClamberingUp · 04/10/2011 11:30

Hi
I'm clambering and I've been alcohol dependent much of the time since I had my kids (who are now 8 and 9), and use drink regularly to calm my anxieties before that. At the moment, I am drinking at weekends but not in the week. And loving my clearheaded week days.

shake welcome on board, things will and can get better, lots of us here know that.

Helpmenow I think the email is sensitive and kind, as well as being morally the right thing to do. Before I started to sort myself out, but while I was starting to enquire/think, I'd have been touched and thought provoked, and may well have got courage up to talk to you.

Gerald is a Double Decker - I'm 47 and I remember Double Deckers too, love it.

legal thanks for trying on the pm, no it did not get through. I'm having similar weekend struggles, I think that weekend drinking can work for some people, but I am not sure if I am one of them yet. Want to keep trying a bit longer though.

Isinde I think you are having a tough time at the mo? Did you hear about that contract that you went for yet? Did you do your KY jelly talk???? Re sleeping:
DS number one not the best sleeper at all, but things got much better when he went to school: he seems to need cognitive as well as physical tiredness. He used to wake us at least once in the night for reassurance. Now, except in Summer hols, he very very rarely does. He sometimes gets anxious just about not being able to get to sleep, and though not cuddly in day, he is v cuddly and needy last thing in evening. He likes stories of when I used to stay on my grandma's farm when a little girl (Grandma was called Grandma Moo, and is all you would expect of someone with that name, just a lovely kind strong farming woman), and also we do breathing and body scans a la Jon Kabat Zinn which he really finds helpful, I think he naturally goes to over analytic or worried places, whereas DS number one tells me he just 'pictures black' and goes to sleep, lucky monkey....

hugs to all babes struggling away, being a parent is tough.

bafanatheSober · 04/10/2011 11:31

Just quickly popping in

mouse so sorry to hear about your friend. Keep wee Nemo and DD close.

Hey shake welcome aboard

ma I am sure that it is just a really bad picture, I always look bloody awful in pictures, and am assured that I don't look that bad in real life Smile, but maybe it will be good incentive too. Look how you have inspired me to get fit!! Grin

Right - loads to do today

And the puppy arrives this afternoon so much excitment in our lives!!

jesuswhatnext · 04/10/2011 11:34

doh! posted too soon again!

morning shake!! nice to meet you!

i think we need a 'get gorgeous' campaign! - im sure you look just fine ma, we just need to raise levels of confidence here! tbh, im finding heading towords 50 is quite difficult at times, im noticing more wrinkles and wobbly bits and i often feel invisible and then pathetically grateful when i get 'noticed' Blush - i like to look nice, it lifts my spirits and you all know how i like a high heel Grin time to share our 'confidence boosting tips' i think!

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 11:38

I drink a bottle every evening, hello everyone, thank you for the warm welcome

swallowedAfly · 04/10/2011 11:41

i'm so sorry mouse! i really am x

legalalien - you are a complete utter star and i'm impressed with how beautifully your ds has kept his toys! the coat is gorgeous and he will love all the ben10 stuff. awfully tight sounding but i think i'm going to save most of it for christmas - he already asked for an omnitrix so that's definitely one for wrapping, well 2! thank you so much! but please tell me how much i owe you for postage as it must have cost a fortune to send.

welcome on board shake. all of the things you express displeasure with are things that will improve by taking control of the drinking - the weight, the self esteem, the depression and anxiety etc - they will definitely all improve if you can stop drinking. are you going to stop or cut down first (by which i mean rapidly decrease the level of alcohol - e.g. half a bottle for a night or two, just a glass for a night or two and then stop or go over to whatever your plan is eg. only weekends or only a glass or whatever)?

i'm busy taking shit from a 'friend' who seems intent on trying to make me feel shit and paranoid via fb messages. deep joy. trying not to bite.

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 11:41

Gossssssh..a bottle of WINE, that is what I mean, third time luck Smile

obrigada · 04/10/2011 11:43

All confidence boosting tips gratefully received JWN Grin

ClamberingUp · 04/10/2011 11:45

JWN Getting gorgeous tips:
good haircut
not looking at photos unless DH has censored first,
Wonderbra everyday teeshirt bra which 'reframes' all that breastfeeding and pregnancy did,
getting older and wiser,
enjoying clothes as aesthetically pleasing items,
reminding myself that some of the yummier Mummies are not that nice in my own view, whilst some of the ones who are less glam are just wonderful loving people. Mac makeup when I can be bothered!

dementedma · 04/10/2011 11:52

mouse so very sorry to hear this news. I do the race for life every year for a friend with Breast Cancer. I will include your friend too on the next one.
shake snap! usually a bottle of wine a night here, too much weight, Citalopram for depression. Had two glasses last night though, and going to try AGAIN for none tonight.

legalalien · 04/10/2011 12:39

this thread is moving too fast again!

SaF glad parcel arrived OK - postage wasn't terrible - £5 something if I recall correctly- no need to reimburse me, but if you're determined to do so maybe you could send DS some Match Attax cards in lieu (new season of Match Attax tyranny has just started).

I also liked "newlylush" for the reasons given. It would be nice to have a name that could somehow reflect a change from noun to adjective but I can't think how to frame it succinctly!

On the sleeping front, DS was a terrible sleeper and feeder as a baby and very, very alert / demanding of attention (I still look at other people's babies in prams and highchairs gurgling contentedly and compared with DS at that age they are a completely different species). From about 2 until 4 he slept about 8/8.30pm until 5.30 am (tediously early mornings, but sort of worked as I was working full time and at least got to see him when heading to work), since starting full time nursery/school it's been more like 7.30,morerecently 8 until 6.30 which is perfectly convenient for me. And he goes to sleep very quickly. So there is light at the end of the tunnel (he is still a very fussy eater though, but I have given up on that battle).

helpmenow I wouldn't be offended by an email like that.

And welcome to shake!

swallowedAfly · 04/10/2011 12:43

that would work legalalien but you'd have to tell me what the hell match attax cards are and where they can be found Smile if they do them on amazon or something i can send them straight to you. thank you again - i looked in the box and knew it was a virtual treasure trove from ds's perspective Smile

think the email is well put and not stalky at all helpme - meant to say that before but forgot.

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