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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

999 replies

Mouseface · 03/10/2011 10:24

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are. Smile

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 04/10/2011 20:10

shake I also stopped smoking using the Allen Carr book. I really hope the seminar helps you. When is it?

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 20:17

I wanted to go on the 18/10 but cant afford it just yet so it will have to be on the 12/11. I so believe in it, my life is going to change

BBwannaB · 04/10/2011 20:18

Hi Shake welcome aboard. When are you going to the Alan Carr seminar? You can give up/cut down before the seminar, it will help to reinforce what you are trying to do then. You do not have to keep drinking at the same level until you get there, you know.

Today may be a good day to learn -The- -Drill-: pour away the glass and the reast of the bottle, brush your teeth twice, large glass of water or cup of tea, pjs on and early to bed. You will feel the benefit in the morning Smile
Mouse so sorry to hear your news.
Faire doubledeckers must have been on its nth repeat by the time you saw it then!

BBwannaB · 04/10/2011 20:19

bother - my underlining attempt went wrong The Drill

Fairenuff · 04/10/2011 20:25

I agree with BB. You do not have to keep drinking at the same level. Is it a one day seminar where you walk in sober in the morning and come out never to drink again? Sorry for my ignorance but I haven't read the book. The smoking one was, smoke while you read the book but then at the end you stop, so am wondering if the alcohol one is similar.

Do you know BB after all that malarky about my age, I got it wrong. I'm not 46 until next June! Confused Grin

The diet's gone well again today. Loads of biscuits in staff meeting but I didn't eat any. Smile

BBwannaB · 04/10/2011 20:28

Shake I hope it is not too soon for tough love for you, but you have to take some responsibility for yourself.
I have heard wonders about the Alan Carr stop smoking programme. The stop drinking programme? not so much...

You can't rely on someone or something to fix it for you - YOU have to want it and YOU have to take some steps yourself, and even cutting down, baby steps in the right direction.

We can help and support you until you get to go to the seminar.

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 20:29

But the people from the seminar, tell me to carry on as it is until the seminar.. same for the smoking until I had my last cigarette only 6 months ago.

BBwannaB · 04/10/2011 20:32

Faire Grin don't add years on! I'm impressed with your self control, I need to get back on low carbs wagon, so will check in with you and Ma I think.

notevenamousie · 04/10/2011 20:32

Mouse that would be 90 units a week, right?(!)

shake I would say it's pretty disordered thinking that cuts down from 10 times the suggested weekly intake to 'only' 5 times and thinks that it's ok. My sick thinking also had a bottle of wine a night as my 'don't have a problem' cut off but then, I convinced myself of a lot of things that weren't true. Keep talking, it's fine to share as much or as little of your story as you like. I personally doubt one seminar is going to solve an alcohol problem because I am done for before I pick up the first drink, and the same just isn't true with cigarettes, etc.

thinice reading what you wrote reminded me of what I have often heard said - 'don't go into your head without adult supervision' or more simply, 'don't drink and don't think'. My own worst enemy is between my ears.

Not sure I'm very clear tonight, I am tired. Going to snuggle up with a book I think, as don't suppose it'll be a good night's sleep here for my little coughing girl.

Fairenuff · 04/10/2011 20:36

I know you want to continue to drink until then shake and that's OK. Some of us are drinking, some cutting down, some have stopped.

They probably don't want you to stop just yet in case you try to go about it the 'wrong' way. They will have lots of advice to help you succeed. But in the meantime, it won't do any harm for you to make your next drink non-alcoholic. You can always go back to your wine but, for now, why not have a cup of tea with us? Smile. I have my cosy pjs on already and a refreshing mug of peppermint tea. Gawn, put the kettle on . . . Grin

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 20:37

BBwannaB but I have tried to joined you many many times since this thread started and I felt so inadequate, I tried AA as well with Miflaw advice but it was not for me. I have tried to stop so many many times. I think I'm a really weird person, I gave up smoking thanks to this method and I know the stop drinking is not as succesful as there is fewer feedbacks but the principle will be the same and it will work, it has to. I have spoken to my gp about my problem, she send me to some organization, I have spoken to my friends about my problem, they dismissed me, when I was not drinking, they laughted at me. I really want to give another go.

BBwannaB · 04/10/2011 20:39

Shake I don't know the programme, and of course it is your decision, but surely it is better for you to at least try to cut down a bit? It is 5 weeks until the seminar - that could be 5 rows with DH, 5 weeks of hangovers, 5 weeks of weight gain.

How about drinking more mindfully, keeping a record of what you are drinking, how you are feeling before you have a drink, how you feel afterwards. You might find that helpful in the post seminar days, if you need a reminder of why you are giving up?

Original poster
Mouseface · 04/10/2011 20:41

shakes if you are ready and you know or at least hope that Mr Carr can help you again then fantastic Smile

You have a real and reachable goal. We'll help you as much as we can. Keep posting, keep talking to us. Smile

OP posts:
shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 20:43

notevenamousie it has to work, it's my only hope left..it is just an habit which I found hard to break..It was worst before, I used to drink wine in the morning in mug !! I used to pick up my kids from school being drunk (not driving, no driving licence)

BBwannaB · 04/10/2011 20:43

Sorry I xposted - so slow! I don't want to harangue you. You are welcome here and I hope you take this in the spirit it is meant, trying to help and support you.

Keep posting, stay on board, share with us, that's what I rely on to help me along every day on this journey.

dementedma · 04/10/2011 20:45

Grin at Dubs - must remember that quote.
I do 45 minutes jogging and walking tonight,which is good, but on the downside I have had two glasses of wine! I think I wouldn't have done if there was none in but sis was coming for dinner and DH bought 3 bottles for a tenner which means the house has supplies in. Bugger.
shakes how does DH react when you are violent to him? How is he when you sober up?
Keep posting on here, there are no rules other than not being abusive to other posters, no order of posting, no format. We just talk - a lot!!
Sounds like we need to introduce you to our resident legionnaire...where is he?
MYDD are you still around? Hows things?

notevenamousie · 04/10/2011 20:53

shake alcoholism kills. It's killed many, plenty better women and men than you and I. So saying that something has to work is unlikely to make it happen. If it were merely a habit, like biting your fingernails, you'd have cracked it long before now. So would I.
You are neither inadequate nor a bad person, but as you say, you have tried many times to stop. It sounds like you believe this particular human being can relieve your alcoholism. Despite there not being much evidence.
When you say AA didn't work, did you go for long? Follow suggestions? Go through the programme? I used to think I was special, too - you say you are a "really weird person" but I'm fairly certain you're not, your just another human being with a problem with alcohol.

I had morning drinks at times. They didn't make me a bad person, and I don't think they are a diagnostic criterion for alcoholism either. But I don't need to today, and for that I am truly grateful.

Fairenuff · 04/10/2011 20:57

Ma two glasses isn't too bad, especially with the exercise. Is it possible to not store wine in the house though. I would find that tough too. Beer and whisky don't bother me, I never touch the stuff so DH tends to have that if anything. Alternatively, could you get him to hide it from you. Grin

Alcohol really derails me when trying to lose weight because not only am I drinking empty calories but I also eat rubbish, salty snacks or high fat cheese and nuts. And because it destroys all my willpower, I have far too much of everything. I can consume a whole days worth of calories in one evening of drinking. Shock

When I was drinkng every day, I was eating twice as many calories every day. No wonder the weight piled on.

The benefits of not drinking, or drinking very little are becoming more and more clear every day that I don't drink. When you're caught in the drinking cycle you just don't realise how much better life can be. It's really hard to describe. It's a bit like a mist clearing and suddenly everything seems so clear. You think it's going to be horrible without drink, but it's not. It's wonderful. Smile

Original poster
Mouseface · 04/10/2011 21:03

Right bed, night night all xxxx

OP posts:
shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 21:08

dementedma last week I had a violent outburst, I had an argument with dh, I went out of my head, I have been violent to dh, I made him cry. I have a lot of issues and I'm sometimes not able to move forward especially when I'm drunk. I crave it, it is part of my routine, it is awful :-(

Fairenuff · 04/10/2011 21:20

I crave it, it is part of my routine, it is awful

A lot us would relate to that statement I believe. You are not so weird or unusual shake. I know I certainly crave it at times. I know I used to have a drinking routine. I cetainly felt awful. This can be overcome, with support. But you do have to really want it. More than anything else.

shaketheshame · 04/10/2011 21:22

I really want it but with help, I can't do it alone.

wannabefree · 04/10/2011 21:45

Hi all,

I've not been on here in a while.

I used the Allen Carr book to stop smoking at the end of August. That was pretty painless so I ordered the alcohol one. I did two weeks of effortlessly not drinking, but then I had a big celebration at the weekend and drank even though I didn't want to. During the two weeks of abstinence I had a night out in a pub with friends and was the designated driver so found it easy to not drink as nobody batted an eyelid.

This weekend it was with hard-drinking friends who would have thought me strange to not drink. In fact at one point I drank water with lots of ice and lemon in one bar and one of them looked at me incredulously and said :"Are you drinking water?" in the same way one would say:" Are you drinking poison?" I also suffer from anxiety/awkwardness in social situations and so drink to relax me so that I don't look weird/awkward.

I'm out again this weekend with a new friend who I've never been out with before. From talking to her it's clear she's expecting a fun and lively night with lots of drinking. The thing is although I'm lively and bubbly in situations such as at work where I have confidence, in social situations such as at a bar/club I just freeze and don't know how to act. Allen Carr's book has convinced me that alcohol doesn't actually give me courage or confidence, but I still have visions of me drinking when the time comes.

I'm worried I've done a lot of damage to myself already. The whites of my eyes are not very white, my skin feels itchy after a drinking session and it can take two days to get over one. I know all this and yet I'm sitting here contemplating drinking just to make my new friend feel at ease/to show her a good time.

Could somebody PLEASE talk some sense into me?! Sad

thinice · 04/10/2011 21:46

thinice reading what you wrote reminded me of what I have often heard said - 'don't go into your head without adult supervision' or more simply, 'don't drink and don't think'.
Oh, sorry. I'll stop.

jesuswhatnext · 04/10/2011 23:13

evening!

shake - you sound a very sad and lost lonely soul, you poor little old thing!, have a little (((((hug))))) Smile - i think your plan is a good one, have a date in your head and go for it, HOWEVER, i really do think you are capable of giving yourself a little head start! TRY YOUR VERY HARDEST TO CUT DOWN - FROM TOMORROW!!!!! you are not a bad person, or wierd or strange, just addicted - it neednt be a life sentence, you DO have choices, you CAN do it! keep coming back and talk to us, get your strategies in place, listen to all the advice on here, pick the bits that sound most useful to you and USE them!!

wannabefree - tbh i think you are going to have to toughen up a bit - drinking just because 'people' will think you odd if you dont could end up killing you!! whats more important, your health or being thought 'strange'?