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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

999 replies

Mouseface · 03/10/2011 10:24

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are. Smile

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

OP posts:
ScareyFairenuff · 14/10/2011 19:41

Hey, it's ok MsGee you are not letting anyone down. Some days it's just not the right time. Tomorrow is another day. x

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 19:43

i really want a drink too. i can't actually remember why i'm not drinking Confused

have been sitting here deliberating whether to go to the shop or not.

3 weeks though msgee - that's good!

hauntmenow · 14/10/2011 19:43

((( MsGee )))

Can you call a friend to come round? Think about pouring away the drink. PM a brave Babe? Brush your teeth, have a bath?

You can make it to 21 days and further you know!

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 19:45

sorry that wasn't very helpful of me. tis true you could pour it away msgee.

what was different tonight?

hauntmenow · 14/10/2011 19:48

swallowed Do and advanced search on yourself and remind yourself.

Or if you haven't posted about your active alcoholism read Jesus' first post, or mine (helpmenow July 2009)

ScareyFairenuff · 14/10/2011 19:50

Saf you were not drinking because you found the whole 'shall I, shan't I' stressful and you felt that you were not in control. I remember you saying that just not having any was easier and you wanted a big break between drinks to feel better about yourself. See, I was paying attention Grin

Is shan't actually a word? Doesn't look right somehow. Confused Grin

Badminton cancelled tonight so I'll sit here with you Saf and gnaw on my nails or something.

dementedma · 14/10/2011 20:05

msgee so am I , if that's any help. Just try to moderate it with soft drinks in between so you don't have a hangover.

hauntmenow · 14/10/2011 20:06

BABES

Use PMing, have abath, brush your teeth, phone a friend!!

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 20:11

i wanted to know how i felt after a big gap since my last drink. done for listening faire. and yes i decided that setting a date would be easier than deciding each day.

hauntme - i'm not an alcoholic - not said defensively btw.

i went and bought wine and have poured myself a glass.

MsGee · 14/10/2011 20:12

Thanks

saf dont drink just because I am failing. Please.

I have to be honest. I have no intention of pouring it away. I also have no intention of finishing the bottle.

What's different - (sorry for tmi) - friend situation triggering the v raw memory of carrying my alive kicking baby knowing it's life was
being terminated within 48 hours. I am
back there. I haven't moved on at all.

MsGee · 14/10/2011 20:13

Sorry would hate anyone thinking friend deliberating on termination. Not the case at all.

MsGee · 14/10/2011 20:17

saf x posted. We can start again. Tmrw is another day ((( )))

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 20:19

it's not your fault msgee - i'm a big girl, big girls pants and everything.

you have moved on a lot - you're really not still where you were. this is a big trigger tbh, and i'm sorry if this makes it worse, it always will be! i'm sure people ten years on struggle and flashback to all the emotion when they hear of someone close to them losing a child.

i had a missed miscarriage picked up on a scan at around 14 weeks. i elected to wait and see if things occurred naturally because i had a big assessment the next night and something in me knew i had to hold on to my course and that little bit of my life at least or i'd be freefalling. i walked round for a week with my baby dead inside me.

that will never leave me. it doesn't mean i haven't moved on or i'm still there it means that that was a big and hard experience that just doesn't disappear from my emotional landscape - it's part of me i guess.

don't be scared. let yourself feel. you're allowed to feel this. it's 'normal' whatever that means x

ScareyFairenuff · 14/10/2011 20:19

MsGee you are not going to 'move on' and you don't need to. You feel what you feel. Of course this is bringing it all to the surface for you. Your darling Elizabeth will always be there. You are feeling your grief, that is all.

I read this week that if a woman loses a husband she is called a widow, if a girl loses her parents she is called an orphan, if a mother loses her child there is no name for it. Don't know why but that made me think, how sad Sad.

BBwannaB · 14/10/2011 20:21

Babes, can you put a limit on how many glasses tonight? Stop after a couple? make a cup of tea, come back here and have a really good rant and moan, I'll be here to listen ((hugs))
Ma you need a low backed basque, that will hold your norks up and your tummy in and give you and the dress some real curves. take the dress with you to a department store or Ann summers/la senza (cheaper) and try some on under your dress.

Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 14/10/2011 20:24

I'm drinking too! What has happened to us all tonight?

Off to catch up, back in a mo. xx

ScareyFairenuff · 14/10/2011 20:27

Oh Gawd, they're falling like dominos Shock and we can't even blame it on the full moon, ow ow ooowwwwwwwww Grin

MsGee · 14/10/2011 20:28

saf ((( ))) xxxx

mouse it's been a tough week of enormous proportions of shite.

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 20:29

well if we're drinking we're drinking.

i'll have two glasses at most and i don't get the sense that msgee will be getting drunk.

ms mouse however i feel obliged to mention your liver. elephant in the room and all that.

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 20:30

gut feeling is you need to do those tests msgee.

cidre · 14/10/2011 20:38

xxx to all Babes who are struggling tonight.
This too will pass.
I know the more experienced Babes will have proper advice, but am thinking of you all.
xxx

swallowedAfly · 14/10/2011 20:39

where are you mouse?

cidre · 14/10/2011 20:41

p. s.
I miss spoke (typed!) You don't need advice, I think I meant input.

MsGee · 14/10/2011 20:41

Thanks saf I think so too. DH is travelling away with work most if this month but we can do them after that. I don't know how much I'll drink but less than a bottle.

mouse ((( ))) for you too.

Mwahahahahahahahouseface · 14/10/2011 20:46

Saf - I'm fully aware of my liver and it's not so great condition sweets. Smile

I have in front of me a glass of red wine, a small glass, squat and round glass, like your mum and dad have! Not a huge half bottle glass! Grin

I fancied a glass of red and that's what I have. It's DH's wine so he will have the rest of the bottle. I will have a hot chocolate and go to bed.

I just felt that way out. A single glass of wine, if I drink it all, and that will be that.

Nothing to prove, nothing to gain. I just fancied a glass. Smile

MsGee - massive massive hugs to you. You have so much pain in your life, in your heart. The decision that you made was a decision no mother should EVER have to. You had NO CHOICE, NONE AT ALL.

You will get to the point when you will learn to forgive yourself. I promise xx

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