RIGHT HELP NEEDED
OK so Heathcliff and I have had a little spat (snort snort) and his messages are making me uneasy. I'm meeting him again tomorrow, it's been intense, but I'm feeling that it's not all my doing. Basically, he's going cider pressing this weekend, he's been joking about slipping a posh bird his cock etc (we are really immature) but I had a bit of a sensitive day yesterday and pulled him up on it and said it didn't make me comfortable...now his messages are as follows:
..."Also, when you say, 'if it works out, great, if it doesn't, then it was fun whilst it lasted,' it sounds as if you're already preparing yourself for a negative outcome--maybe even opening the door to it. It's hard for me to see why any of this has been necessary for you. Mind you, I don't really need reasons; whether or not I can identify them, I suppose the feelings themselves are most important; it's those that now have me on orange alert :) I'm only sorry that my evening with Wayne went on so long (because he pretty much fell/jumped off the wagon again) that I wasn't able to discuss this with you much earlier.
I'm sorry if my honesty and good intentions have backfired. Naturally I can't control your thoughts or feelings. I can only say you have no cause for concern here. If there were any real chance I'd get off with someone at the cider pressing, I'd hardly be likely to draw your attention to it by telling you about those other women (especially since I'd expect my mentioning them to reassure you that my eyes were not closed or whatever anyway). You do have to realise, though, that if you get even a little defensive about things then you're making it more likely that something will go wrong there. If it did, the blame would still lie with me, but it is more likely to happen if I feel you lack trust or are ill at ease about us. In case you're in any doubt--I don't have any genuine concern about your vodka fest or Halloween (in case I don't end up joining you for that). Why would I? As far as I'm concerned, the more you get to go out and enjoy yourself, the better, really.
The long and the short of it is that I don't think you need to be so concerned about these thingsOK, so maybe you wouldn't have been if you'd had a better day, but you know what I meanand that you can probably leave it to me to decide for myself when you're not adequate.
Here's hoping you have a better day."
Sorry it's long, but there are a few points that fuck me off...can anyone identify with these? Before I identify them that is LOL