1 wedding, a wank bag and 52 dates. Internet dating chat thread no 2

[lubeybooby]

A new one!

title courtesy of Shiney :o

Chit chat about all things dating related here.

old thread

shineon not sure if you missed my last message, I'm a mental health worker so might be able to help with any concerns you have. Citalopram or similar is generally for anxiety but not specifically. Do you know what his repetitive actions are with regards to OCD - is it checking/cleaning/routines/etc? The only thing that truly helps with OCD would be a CBT based therapy/and or exposure. This isn't a short term treatment depending on why he has OCD. If he has mild OCD then he wouldn't necessarily be referred to a psychiatrist so I think maybe you need to dig a bit more to see what the underlying issues are. hope that helps x

shiney, no one's replied since watch's well stated case. You're trying to become his boyfriend, not his psychiatrist, marriage counsellor, sex therapist and personality fixer upper. Here in Australia we have great big mean saltwater crocodiles... I'm sure there's a possibility they could be tamed and made into great family pets, but the probability is when you're not paying attention they'll grab you and tear you to pieces. It's not their fault - it's just the way they are. RUN!

I do agree with watch and poppa, maybe not quite as strongly.... but I think you're wasting his time as well as your own on something that is nowhere near worth it or good enough. It's a shame, but it's not how things should be in terms of a relationship/boyfriend that is exclusive

Back from my date. He is very nice! In fact too posh to be on POF. I don't like men who are rough as badgers but anyone too nice isn't my type either. What is it with me . I would be happy to meet up again for dinner, he is interesing company but it will be just that.

Poppa, tell me if I should bow out now?

Shiny, forgot to add that I get the impression there is something about L that you like, or he would have been dropped by now. I've been known to really fall for a less than perfect match. It's something I cannot explain or help. I see it as positive as I go for years, meeting lots of men who I never develop feeling for and that scares me more.

Pass him over this way adamschic I like posh nice ones :o

Seriously though what do you find too 'nice' about him?

He is polite, well spoken, good job etc, bet if I met him with his other half I would think she was a lucky woman but just didn't have the 'thing' that I want to find. Sigh!

Just back from coffee with Geordie - very very nice

More handsome than his pics, accent is swoon worthy and understandable in person and hopefully see him again on sunday

Was so nervous, not been on a date since last year but conversation flowed - I'm a happy bunny today

Mrs Cello.

adamschic, I have absolutely no idea. Having had several contacts from several abhorrent bushpigs unsuitable women over the past few days I've looked inwards and realised that the only women I appeal to are, in fact, abhorrent bushpigs unsuitable women. I think online dating is a bit like eBay. Most buyers are bottom feeders only looking for gratification by buying the most basic of items at the lowest price, and even then they'll bitch and moan and leave you negative feedback. The alternative is to present with a much better product that demands a premium price, which could take some time and effort on my behalf.

@ PoppaRob Brilliant!

Poppa, are you saying we have to go on a top quality paysite then? Dabbled on Sugardaddy.com once. It was awful, like they were trying to buy you. I give up.

Now have to send a message that I don't want to send or be really rude and ignore.

I like the analogy poppa lol and I agree shine ...to be honest if he is having 'repetitive thoughts' that are intrusive or causing him distress that he has to be on medication or see a psychiatrist, then I would think that there is more to it...eg, what are his intrusive thoughts? He could be being treated for schizophrenia? The no brainer for me would be the mediocre sex though!! lol

Yup. Mental health ishoos, ok-ish, bad sex big old no no.

I've just received this message
"How are you doing? I hope you are good..I really enjoyed reading your profile and i would like to know more about you and also chat with you often.. is that going to be possible?Maybe we could chat for a while,learn more about each other and know if we both are on the same wavelength before meeting when we both feel comfortable about each other.....well i would love us to exchange emails with each other if you dont mind.cos i dont usually use this site much,here is my email hopping to hear from you soon.........
[email protected]

thank you and hope to hear from you soon thru my email.............

Robert

Note the 'before meeting'. He live in Florida FFS!! How does he plan we meet?? I can't even afford to go there for a holiday never mind a sodding coffee!! And he has no photo on his profile!!

No, adamschic, I'm saying that in my case I'm looking at myself and what I'm presenting is only likely to attract crap women. I need to smarten myself up and work on myself to bring myself up to a standard which may attract the less desperate punters. I know that will take time and effort but I think it's a better path than the one I'm on now. The analogy is that instead of flogging crap on eBay I'm better off presenting a well presented quality product at Christie's.

Afternoon :)

Had a couple of messages on Smooch today, that may be possibilities. We shall see. Neither of the messages were really inspiring/imaginative but neither was off putting either.

lubey your messages from Smooch sound about par for the course for most of them. Then again OKCupid doesn't seem to be reaching any higher standards. This is the latest...

"hi darling , i just get it start and looking for nice one like you ..................................can be we frnds???????? waiting for your response ,,,,..... i am really interested............ "

I've sent a very nice thanks but not for me message! Phew 2nd time I've had to write one of these this week. Next time I am not going unless I fancy them loads. What's to bet I will and he will do a runner.

Expect I have to be patient. I did CO one in time for Christmas.

Oh dearie me. Doing this -> a lot at smooch mails and profiles. I'm really not in the right mood for it though so i think I will step away from there for a day or two. I just can't be arsed!

Adamschic my CO was for within a year. I wish I'd done a month time limit now :o

Chaotic I'm getting nowt at all on okcupid apart from very nice pity mail from Poppa :o bless him

Also agree with Don and charlottes re: the sex being the bigger issue... although i think his meds might cause the sex prob... which goes back to what I was saying about it not being something he and shiney can work on to improve... he needs his meds and meds mean sweaty semi mediocre sex.

Problems like premature ejaculation or poor technique I can work on, but other things are just shit and not much can be done.

adams shame about your date. I agree with you, I'm not going on another date unless and until it's with someone I actually feel a proper attraction of some kind to, the last date I had (18 months ago!) was so cringe-inducingly awful - and I could not have fancied him less - that I decided I wouldn't go on another just to see what someone was like.

Hence an 18 month dating drought.

POF is full of weird blokes like the one who msgd both me and watch - the even weirder thing about him was when I looked at his profile it said he had no children . All a bit icky.

Here's an abridged version of the gem I received today from another POF oddball:

'hi am happy to fine your beautiful and nice profile. i am single man looking for
relations i am not that handsome* but humble,trust, honesty and confidence with my
partner i cant praise myself but please i am waiting to hearing from you'

• true, he really isn't

That made me laugh Hates, he has admitted to not being handsome

Well I just don't know about Mr Body, he has been texting me the last couple of hours which makes me think he is interested but no mention of a 2nd date despite my hints. Dont know if he is like Watch's Mr 3 weeks or if its just that he is busy this weekend, which I think he is, ans the fact that he lives an hour away means I wouldn' see him much anyway. Sorry to keep waffling about it

Zany it's a shame re Mr Body, I can't work men out sometimes. Why keep texting you if he's not going to arrange another date? He could be busy, but surely he should be trying to give you some indication of his continuing interest - unless he thinks that's what the texts are?..