Hello, survivor here - almost two years :)
I came onto MN in January 2009, I had a 3 month old baby, and was feeling very isolated in my relationship. Sometimes I do searches under my first nickname with the term "DP" just to remind myself what he was like day to day and what I noticed was wrong with the relationship before I realised 
it's interesting looking back to the change in me before I realised and after. I can also read the absolute exhaustion which was present in my posts at the time.
I think it was a few months before I started thinking "That's me." when I read certain Relationships posts. It was the end of that summer that I found the NPD thread and at that time I was starting to get seriously frustrated by just how weird and unpredictable XP was and how I couldn't speak to anyone about him because nobody understood what he was actually like. I was also having serious regrets about being in the relationship but thinking that this was it, I was stuck with him for life, I'd made that choice and that was it. I remember DS was going through an unsettled sleeping phase which would wind XP up and I'd take him out for walks in his pram, partly to get away from the arguments and partly to get DS to sleep, we'd walk around the council blocks and look up at the windows and wonder how many of the occupants were single parents and whether they were happier than I was.
I know it was the end of summer because I spent a horrifying and enlightening week reading the NPD thread, and then we went on holiday. I couldn't say anything before the holiday, so I went on it, and just pretended everything was fine. But really I was watching and analysing XP's every move, it was bizarre. We went on holiday with a friend of XP's who was actually nice (unlike most of his friends) and it was interesting to discuss things with him, although I never mentioned the NPD or the label "emotional abuse".
I finally left in the December, mainly because it took that long to find somewhere to move to in secret. I was lucky that I had the support of my mum, and once I told her, I wanted to leave straight away. I actually felt, once I'd spilled everything, that I couldn't possibly stay there another day. But I did, and though it wasn't fun, it wasn't much worse than had been before.
I used to have the dreams as well. Always one particular person (in my case, an ex) - I actually feel grateful to him, though of course he didn't do anything! But just as a symbol of hope. Those dreams got me through. They were so vivid and strong, as well. They are as strong now as any memory formed in real life, for me.