It has to be done, Bibi. Sometimes when you're typing the stuff out you get a fresh slant on it. Often, another poster will give you just the thing you'd been seeing out of the corner of your eye, but eluded you. It's debriefing. Debrief away! I've been doing it for years ...
Your apparent trivia, above, break my heart. I recognise it all, and I bet everyone else does too. All that - running after him, constantly trying to be good enough. When you already were good enough, and too good for him. Which he knew. So he kept you running, to make you feel he was the too-good one 
It works in a way, because it breaks you. Makes you less good than before, so then he grants himself more opportunities to punish you. For not being good enough. Because, by now, he's convinced himself AS WELL as you. What a vile, vile way to treat another human being. What an utterly fucked-up way to do a relationship.
You know how you and Positive said about the bath thing, that it's so hard to tell other people? I've been thinking about this. What happens, I think, is that we censor ourselves. We go "I'm really annoyed with DP ... he ran me a bath." Then we think our friend thinks, how considerate, what's she whining about? So we go ... oh, I'm just being silly, never mind, did you see Corrie last night?
Where, if we'd gone on to explain "I didn't particularly want a bath, but he ran it and he always makes a fuss if I say I didn't want it. It burned my bum off, he always runs it too hot! But if I try to cool it down, he goes into a sulk!" ... then our friend might well remark that this seems a trifle odd.
I remember doing this - well, all the time really, but one spectacular 'nice' thing X2 did. It was out of the blue, extravagant and very sweet. There were lots of impressed witnesses. So I never told my friends that he'd not spoken to me for days beforehand, and I didn't have a clue how he knew where I'd be at that time. Or that he then drove off again, gesture complete, to do one of his regular disappearing acts. I thought it would make me seem ungrateful. Whereas, had I told them the full story, they would have gone "How FUCKING WEIRD!" And, actually, would have gone on to say "We've noticed he's a bit weird quite a lot, tbh. Tell us some more weird stuff?"
Maybe that's what I was afraid of.