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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Had a fling whilst away and feel sick

162 replies

regrettingit · 15/12/2005 22:10

At the time it was amazing, total lust. But now I feel sick, not with guilt as there isn't much passion in my marriage but with the way the fling went on. I should feel guilty and maybe I will but not at the moment.

It lasted 2 nights and he was saying how much he'll miss me etc..and that he loved me I know it's a crock of sh*t but it was really getting to me. I fancied him like mad but this talk was way too much. He even cried ffs??

Has anyone else had this? I used to have the odd fling years ago but don't remember blokes talking this way?

It's hit me how mad it was and I wish I could turn back the clock but I can't, just feel like crap

OP posts:
bigbaubleeyes · 16/12/2005 11:39

Will be checking later this after though!!

SackAche · 16/12/2005 11:42

Me too!

TheFish · 16/12/2005 11:48

me three

morningpaper · 16/12/2005 13:05

me four

morningpaper · 16/12/2005 13:07

I get excited when the vicar hoots his horn

He gets excited seeing someone under 80

everybody wins

robin3 · 16/12/2005 13:16

Can I just say that I'm quite shocked at the level of venom on this thread! Blimey she's human and she'll have to live with the guilt but I would say that everything not being quite what it should at home is a VERY good reason and this is just a symptom.

Regrettingit...it's done now. Don't wallow in the guilt and don't read in to this guys feelings. Tackle the bigger issue of why you are so vulnerable to others charm and decide what to do in the future.

Good luck.

MaryChristmas · 16/12/2005 13:19

Yeah she'll have to live with the guilt. Her family will have to live with the deceit and hurt.

Enideepmidwinter · 16/12/2005 13:36

yes live with it

stop thinking that because he cried you are a fabulous super babe

expatinscotland · 16/12/2005 15:44

and get some help before someone - including you - gets REALLY, REALLY hurt!

SackAche · 16/12/2005 15:50

Expat - What are you talking about? Get some help because she had a flirty weekend with some foreign bloke?? LOL She's hardly a serial adulterer!

expatinscotland · 16/12/2005 15:58

no but sackache, she's weak and vulnerable. what if next tiem she goes away she sleeps w/some bloke, her man finds out, and it all goes tits up? that would suck. she's obviously feeling like this for a reason - it's worth going to sort out why she was even tempted in the first place, cuz if she were in a good place she wouldn't be at all.

SackAche · 16/12/2005 16:02

Weak and vulnerable? Its all a bit dramatic really! I didn't get that she was weak and vulnerable at all.

SackAche · 16/12/2005 16:03

It was once.... she stopped herself sleeping with him..... she still feels terribly guilty! That to me says someone who has learned her lesson and isn't going to do that again in a hurry!!

hercules · 16/12/2005 17:22

LOl at morningpaper!!

bsg · 16/12/2005 17:35

Everyone on her who doesnt really think that she has done anything wrong, it would be a different story if it was her dh who had done it or yours for that matter. If you are married whether happily or not this is not acceptable. If you are thinking to be unfaithful/wanting to kiss or sleep with someone else then you should finish with your current relationship.

chocolatemummy · 16/12/2005 17:41

well I can't say anything against it because i strayed early on this year but I actually did it with an ex, its a long story but I def think having a baby makes you very emotionally unstable and makes you think and do all kinds of things

hercules · 16/12/2005 17:43

Jeez, you'd think she was the only person in the world to have feelings for someone other than her partner. I agree she needs to work on her relationship together with her partner but doesnt every one anyway?

Sounds pretty human to me. I think it's fairly natural to have crushes on other people and hardly makes anyone a slut!

Why do women have to call other women this awful word?

chocolatemummy · 16/12/2005 17:53

I think we are living in such a different world these days and that doesn't mean to say marriage or relationships are not as important anymore but it does mean we think differently and possibly take things for granted a bit at times. I certainly take my husband for granted at times but i love him dearly and would do anything for him. the reason i went back to my ex is because I was scared that i had made the wrong decision. I actually met my ex when my husband had walked out on me, I went on a girls holiday and fell head over heels for this amazing man but when I got home my (now husband) was there waiting for me and begging me in tears to take him back. I just felt that I couldn't throw away what he had together for what wa essentially a holiday romance so i wnet back to him, but three years later we are still having the smae problems with his ex and his son, we are still scrapping by financially because we gave all our money to her and now i am married to him with a daugther so, yes, sorry folks but at times I feel completely trapped and wish i had never taken him back. earlier this year I spent a weekend with the guy I met on holiday back thne we kept in touch but never saw eachother for three years and when we finally did it was amazing.............shit happens

chocolatemummy · 16/12/2005 17:55

If that makes me a slut then so be it. all it does in my eyes is prove that we sometimes have too much faith in some people and not enough in in others

Bugsy2 · 16/12/2005 18:16

Sounds to me as though regrettingit knows she made a mistake. She clearly says that she feels crap and wants to be sick.
As far as I can see, she wasn't asking for outrage & condemnation but wondered if anyone else had felt madly "in lust".
I think it was probably a "moment" of passion - not even consumated either.
Regrettingit, was it the sort of event where you had both been drinking? People often say things and have intense feelings when they've had a bit to drink, that they possibly wouldn't normally. Had you known the guy previously to that? If not, I can't help thinking it was a bit premature of him to be suggesting he was in love with you and would miss you etc etc.
Also, do you really care? Is he important to you?

sarahinphuket · 16/12/2005 18:17

my god
i can't believe how bitchy some people are

just read back what some of you have written. shame on you. i hate this holier-than-thou attitude and i really dislike the way that some people are immediately jumped on for being trolls.

some people need to take a long, hard look at themselves and their attitudes to others.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 16/12/2005 18:28

"I think it's fairly natural to have crushes on other people" but this wasn't a crush, it was a fling. Crushes are one thing provided hey're not taken any further, a fling is something else.

sarahinphuket · 16/12/2005 18:31

Oh FFS
everyone get off her back
it's not the end of the bloody world. she feels bad enough already. leave her alone and stop being so f*in judgemental. when you yourself are perfect then you can sit in judgement on others.

god this makes me angry.

hercules · 16/12/2005 18:31

So? She took it further. Doesnt make her a dreadful person.

hercules · 16/12/2005 18:31

I wonder if men are so condemning to each other...

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