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Original poster

Had a fling whilst away and feel sick

162 replies

regrettingit · 15/12/2005 22:10

At the time it was amazing, total lust. But now I feel sick, not with guilt as there isn't much passion in my marriage but with the way the fling went on. I should feel guilty and maybe I will but not at the moment.

It lasted 2 nights and he was saying how much he'll miss me etc..and that he loved me I know it's a crock of sh*t but it was really getting to me. I fancied him like mad but this talk was way too much. He even cried ffs??

Has anyone else had this? I used to have the odd fling years ago but don't remember blokes talking this way?

It's hit me how mad it was and I wish I could turn back the clock but I can't, just feel like crap

OP posts:
SackAche · 16/12/2005 10:40

No problem Gravity.

Noddy and Bigbaubleeyes - I agree with you both entirely.

Sometimes it doesn't have to be any deeper than purely looking for attention you're not getting elsewhere. It can just be by flirting with someone on a work night out..... it probably happens alot!

You didn't take it as far as to sleep with him, which I'm assuming was on offer but you couldn't let it go that far?

Stop beating yourself up about it. Its finished/gone/never to be done again. You just need to look at why you needed that sort of passionate attention. I know the feeling, really I do!

bsg · 16/12/2005 10:46

If you didnt sleep with him then he was probably telling you that he loved so that you would. Everyone knows that foreign men in holiday dedstinations are only after one thing. Why are you upset because you liked him and you do want to see him again or because you believed all the crap he told you and now you are worried that he will be sitting at home pining for you. Surely you are not that naive? Have you not seen Shirley VAlentine?

TheFish · 16/12/2005 10:49

im so sad becasue i a m reading this thread thinking now who si shtis hten

  • has marriage in probs
  • uses the word hurl
  • goes away s o muct work hmm who can it be
bigbaubleeyes · 16/12/2005 10:53

Not sure how to take your post fish - are you teasing this person? They are obviously upset and in turmoil leave them be with their privacy.

TheFish · 16/12/2005 10:54

no im being honsest adn wondering who they are
like 99% of pople hwo are reading this are.

Sleighmenere · 16/12/2005 10:56

I'm not wondering, I don't care. This person is entitled to her privacy.

bigbaubleeyes · 16/12/2005 10:56

oh ok take that back - does it matter though? They havn't posted back hope they let us all know how they are.

TheFish · 16/12/2005 10:59

ooh eys its fab goss

SackAche · 16/12/2005 11:03

Fish - It'd been better gossip if she'd slept with him!!!!

Anyway... I'm not wondering.... it might be me!

SpringCrimboTurkey · 16/12/2005 11:04

Fish you have even had me searching the archive quickly for anyone using the word hurl!

morningpaper · 16/12/2005 11:04

snort me too

flutterbeedreaminofawhitexmas · 16/12/2005 11:04

I think it's disgusting, horrible, mean etc etc all the things she has probably called herself since it happened but it's done now you can't take it back.

Try and sort out the problems with DH and if in 6 months time things are no better then I think you should look seriously at splitting up or else things like this will just keep happening.

Once is a mistake 2,3,4 times just makes you a slut.

SackAche · 16/12/2005 11:06

Flutterbee - WTF?? A SLUT??? Thats overly harsh! She didn't even shag him!!!! Think you've led a bit of a sheltered idealistic life!

morningpaper · 16/12/2005 11:14

no need for name calling

flutterbeedreaminofawhitexmas · 16/12/2005 11:14

Not at all Sackache, if you are married and something like this happens then fine you know you have made a mistake and need to solve the problems in your marriage. If however you keep on going out and having "flings" no matter how far they go then you become a slut in my opinion. If you are single and have fling after fling then I don't think there is any harm in it but carrying on doing it when married that is where my problem lies.

gravity · 16/12/2005 11:19

I think what flutterbead was saying is :

once is a mistake

any more times than that ie 2,3,4 times is a slut

SackAche · 16/12/2005 11:21

Flutterbee - I don't know what you are reading when you read the original post, but its not the same as me!

She hasn't slept with anyone else.... oh and the previous 'flings' she refers to I was taking as she meant when she WAS single!!

You are jumping to really strange conclusions IMHO.....

And again.... what do you class as a slut? She didn't have sex with him so she's not exactly sleeping around.

Even if she was.... there is no need to descend to that level.

bigbaubleeyes · 16/12/2005 11:21

No married or not if you have repeated flings or sleep around for the wrong reasons then your are slut either way.

This person is clearly not a slut - god they'll freak when they see these posts

I would like to think the couple try counselling before splitting up - anyway we shudn't be selling em down the rive just yet,

Don't be scared to post back regrett.

gravity · 16/12/2005 11:22

please dont jump on me anyone but i agree in a marriage the problem needs to be sorted out

if she was single "fling" (we are still to find out what the interpretation of "fling" is in this instance) with as many guys as many times as she likes

my nag is that dont hurt the other person who appears innocent in this situation - dh?

SackAche · 16/12/2005 11:23

Gravity... I know thats what she's saying. But once what????? SHE HASN'T SLEPT WITH ANYONE ELSE!!!!!!!!! Sorry for shouting, but this is starting to get on my nerves a bit.

gravity · 16/12/2005 11:25

sorry that was my point, - ah gee - hard day - my message isnt clear - having legs pulled by kids while typing, we dont know what this "fling" was made up of.

SackAche · 16/12/2005 11:26

I've had loads of 'flings'.... as in 1 night stands.... and yes I have slept with them.... not when I was with DH though! Am I a slut? I am really shocked at the repeated reference to 'slut'. Its just blatant name calling!

SackAche · 16/12/2005 11:27

Gravity - our posts keep crossing!

bigbaubleeyes · 16/12/2005 11:27

OOOOOOhh FGS it sounds as though she had a tipsey/drunken fumble with a good looking guy who paid her some attention at a time when she was feeling vulnerable (not that i'm saying this is an excuse its still wrong) but she didn't sleep with him.

She's trying to deal with her infidelity - the juicey details (wot some seem to be desperate to know are not likely to be published or revealed in a web broadcast!)

I mean this thread is very busy hmmmm... why is that then?

flutterbeedreaminofawhitexmas · 16/12/2005 11:27

Sachache --- I don't know WHAT you are reading when you read my posts either.

I am not reffering to any other flings the poster may have had as I too presume they were not whilst married.

However if you read my post prperly you will see that I have said she should try and sort the marriage out but if it doesn't work then they need to look at splitting up otherwise these "flings" will continue to happen which I then personally feel would make her a slut.

Mybe re-read my posts and understand what I am saying before you start attacking me.