The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Booze In The Autumn Breeze.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

I'm mouse and I have an abusive relationship with alcohol. I can't have just the one drink, ever.

I'm not alone here, there are Babes who are sober and have been for some time, Babes who are still drinking and trying their best to stop or cut down and then there are Babes who aren't ready to stop drinking. Yet.

So, why not come and say hi?

No judgy pants allowed on here I'm afraid, cakes and cheeses are!

And for those who want to know a bit more about the Bus, HERE is our journey so far.

Perhaps I could have a sneaky bit of salmon while DH is away this week (at least ethereally) - as he's a stricter veggie than me, so we try to be a veggie family. I'm a bit of a pesky pescatarian at heart though, though the DC's won't allow it as they are purists too

I was wondering about Blondie too, and Obrigada.....

I'm not attacking anybody. I'm being attacked for daring to express my real fears about abstinence. Because those fears are too close to home for some of you.

It's the same on any support thread for people with alcohol issues. It's ok as long as you stick to high-fiving others when they reach significant mile-stones in their sobriety, talk about how great not drinking is, and couch things in mainly positive terms.

I'm more than happy to be told I'm wrong or misguided or whatever. I've read the responses to my posts carefully. I've found some of them really helpful. I mean please you know - prove me wrong! I want to be wrong!

But this is the reality for me at the moment. And if I can't express what's real for me right now, then what is the point of coming here?

does it strike you as good manners to come into a long standing support thread that people get a lot of help from and slag it off?

and no it's not, 'too close to home' for me it's just rude and ignorant.

im not 'attacking you' im just pissed off with your rudeness.

MYODD

I sense that you are very scared about the prospect of having to stop drinking and change your life so drastically. I remember thinking, "if this is my life WITH a drink, how shit is it going to be WITHOUT one?" And I can relate to that, I really can. It felt like my world was ending. Socially I couldn't bear the thought of becoming one of those saddo non-drinkers; but it was the thought of how I would cope behind closed doors that really worried me. All I can say is that, luckily, I turned out to be wrong. I am SO MUCH happier as a non-drinker that there is no comparison.

That said, while I understand lashing out, best form of defence is attack and all that, it is quite easy to take it personally when someone appears to be saying "non-drinkers are dull, they make bad partners" etc - partly because it's me but also partly because I'm over a barrel. The reason I'm a non-drinker is because I made such a rubbish job of being a drinker - now I'm hearing thta, as a non-drinker, I'm no good either? Jesus, I might as well give up and end it all!

Luckily, I don't really think like that anymore. But I would have, years ago.

The best advice I can give you is advice I'd give to anyone in your position. Tell me about YOU - not about what you think of me, not about how other drinkers make you feel, not about who you might become in 10 years time - YOU. NOW.

Because I've been there and I might be able to help.

Deal?

MYODD I am gald that you are expressing your thoughts on drinking, and actually they are making me think about my own situation and my own views about being sober (not for the first time, I hasten to add).

Some of your posts do touch a nerve in me. As an alcoholic mother, there were times when I was really scared that people (xh) would find out about my drinking and use it against me to take my dc from me. And more scarily, if I was on the outside looking in, that is what I would have thought should happen. So to decrease the likelihood of that happening I didn't reduce my drinking, I only became more secretive. So drinking dangerously and dangerously secretive about it. Not good relationship material at all. Except it wasn't obvious. And during that time I did put my dc's lives at risk

So do I feel touchy? yes. But keep on posting, keep on exploring how you feel about alcohol. I can all too easily see the inconsistencies in how I think, but I find that it's easier to spot them than to stop them.

there are many times when i find it is less than ideal to express what is real for me. standing up in a church and shouting that i don't believe god exists would not go down well. going onto a schizophrenic support thread and saying god i'd never date someone with schizophrenia and i wouldn't have them near my kids would strike me as rude and inappropriate. you know?

sometimes manners, decency, respect for others come ahead of me being able to say whatever i like.

blonde is fine, have just got a text.

myodd
I was terrified of stopping drinking. Really terrified. I wasn't an everyday drinker. I never drank in the morning, I could stop - I just couldn't stay stopped. Life beyond drinking seemed like a very dull boring proposition, and I already thought that alot of my life was dull and boring, so even more dull and boring seemed like a step too far.

I joined this thread last October, by that stage it had been going for about 6 months.

The support that I received was unbelievable. If you doubt that - check back. The days where I did not think that I could get through, people here metophorically held my hand for hours.
I see the same thing happen over and over again over the months, and have played a small part in that.

We support one another, console one another, and also celebrate the milestones.

I am bloody fecking amazed that I have managed not to drink for 10 months!!! I am very very proud of it. I also hope that people who read back, can see how far I have come and realise that if I can achieve sobriety then they can too!!

I don't think that there is anything wrong with celebrating our victories. And everyday people here acheive things that they did not think that they could.

I am sorry you feel that way about us, but actually you have really riled me with your condescdending and sanctimonious attitude, to people who are ONLY trying to help you by sharing their own experience, strength and hope.

I dont post about how far I have come in a "look at me" way, I post to show that there is a life beyond drinking, you just have to want it more than anything else. I found that by putting down the drink, alot of other things resolved themselves!!

I wish you well MYODD, and I hope that you can find a path that suits you, but please please please - do not slate people who are offering you unconditional support and friendship

Whew!!! Rant over

Not reading back

well said bafana.

i have found a new distract yourself from a drink craving technique - dying my hair. that's a new one!

sitting here covered in dye and hoping i'm not going to have a stained forehead.

am going to get myself a sugary but alcohol free drink. i am thinking coke with lemon icecubes - anyone fancy one?

must post how to make lemon ice cubes later.

I'm not slagging anything off. I'm just expressing what I think and what I feel about my drinking and about how I might manage abstinence. But it seems that's not allowed.

I didn't come here to make polite chit-chat about what I was having for lunch or to be told that I'm awesome for finally making a commitment to dealing with an issue I should have dealt with once and for all years ago. I don't believe I have a disease. I judge myself harshly for not having the strength to just do what I need to do which is stop drinking. For good.

I came here because I want to talk about the real stuff. I want to explore my issues and talk about my fears about abstinence. I want to talk about these things with people who know where I'm coming from. I would hope that others would gain something from these conversations too as I assume a lot of us have the same fears and issues.

But it would appear my face doesn't fit because some of my opinions don't tow the party line. So fine, you go back to talking about houmous and salad leaves and I'll go back to just keep trying to deal with my crap as best I can.

saf - they sound good! would be nice in a N&T!

MYODD, quite frankly, you are being ridiculous! the whole point of this thread is to support each other, talk over our fears, pass on the things we have found helpful in staying sober etc etc etc - there is no 'party line', we are all very different types of people, what works for some dosent for others - what you have done is come on here with a holier than thou attitude, told us that alikes are not good enough for you but nither are those boring and dull non drinkers and then got arsy because we called you on it.

im not ashamed of who and what i am but im buggered if im going to sit on my hands while you insult me!

MYODD

This thread has taken well over a year to establish. It was started by JWN following her very real and raw posts about the state of her life, her drinking and just how very scared she was that she had finally hit Rock Bottom, and lost it all.

It continued from there really, and some posters are still here today.

I know with my hand on my heart that this thread, these posters, the words on this screen HAVE SAVED LIVES.

These threads have saved relationships, families and individuals from hitting Rock Bottom. Or to bounce back from there at the very least.

If a poster needs help, advice or support, they will be given it, as you were, unconditionally.

Posters have met one another away from here. Posters have sent others books ( MsGee ) or other practical info to help people deal with all matter of things.

There is so much more to us than just a load of alkies on a Bus.

This is a place for taking about your drinking, sure. But also about life, love and even laundry!

We all care. Really, genuinely care about each other, whether the posters are new or not.

This thread is a safe place. This thread is a place to let everything out, to be honest, to be yourself and talk as much or as little as you like.

This thread can be a lifeline. This thread can help you. If you want it.

You have to want, like you have never wanted anything else in your life, to stop drinking otherwise there will always be a tomorrow.

There will always be an excuse to wait.

The help and support is here. But you have to want it. And also understand just how precious this thread is. To us all.

"But it would appear my face doesn't fit because some of my opinions don't tow the party line. So fine, you go back to talking about houmous and salad leaves and I'll go back to just keep trying to deal with my crap as best I can."

DON'T YOU DARE. If ever you want to know whether you're an alcoholic or not, the fact that you've typed this paragraph is far greater proof than any drinking story you have to tell. "Oh, I guess I'm not welcome, well you can't say I didn't try, guess i'll just be moseying along now, I'm obviously destined to drink .." BOLLOCKS.

I've offered you - explicitly - help on this issue. Yes, you've rubbed a few people up the wrong way. Big deal. They're human, so are you. This is a board for drunks, not for saints.

" I judge myself harshly for not having the strength to just do what I need to do which is stop drinking. For good." Well, that's bloody silly, isn't it? What makes you assume that strength has anything to do with it? No one uses strength to handle drinking. The normal people who don't drink much genuinely DON'T WANT to drink more. Well, maybe they stop after 2 when really they'd like 3. But they don't feel like I used to and like, I am guessing, you do. It's like you deciding not to read a book - you don't need strength, you just decide.

On the other hand, if you do have a problem with drink, then strength is not going to help you, I'm afraid. Call it illness, call it disease, call it a problem, call it mental illness, call it madness - the bottom line is that you are fucked when it comes to alcohol. You are in a fight you are never going to win. So get out of the ring and walk away.

Stick around. Talk about real stuff. Just, in the interests of harmony, maybe try to keep it to YOUR real stuff rather than making assumptions about other people's real stuff.

Or direct message me. I can't promise to agree with you all the time but I will listen and respond.

If you walk away now, it's not because anyone's pushed you. It's because you want to get out.

lemon ice cubes (if i'm allowed to post about that seeing as i'm to be insulted for hummus and salad leaf talk )

• half a cup of sugar
• one cup of lemon juice
• three cups of water

mix together and pour into icecube trays and freeze. tastes like lemon sherbert.

we all want support from this thread but we all have to be respectful and considerate of each other rather than only thinking about ourselves if it is to work as a supportive environment.

Yes please Saf - My thirst is still beyond high. I've had poached eggs on a slice of toast. Soup will be for dinner me thinks.

Just having a Lucozade sports drink to hydrate me, my ahem, bowels, are awake again

and you're not the only gay in the village.

saf - I was tempted to post that after MIF's post.

mouse - your bowels being awake again is a very good reason why you ought to try and not drink at your meeting this evening! they have had a bit of a fight just recently, treat them gently or they might fight back!, a tummy full of booze is just not a good idea right now!

the only gay in the village thing? i know. like hello!?! look around!

Goodness me, I turn my back for half a day and have to spend years catching up with you chatterbox's

i know you won't like to hear it mouse because we all love our layers of denial but what do alchies suffer with? bad bowels. what's the best gift you can give your stomach if you have ibs etc? yep you guessed it.

the drinking WILL have been making it worse and it might even turn out to be the main thing that was making it bad. who knows.