The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Booze In The Autumn Breeze.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

I'm mouse and I have an abusive relationship with alcohol. I can't have just the one drink, ever.

I'm not alone here, there are Babes who are sober and have been for some time, Babes who are still drinking and trying their best to stop or cut down and then there are Babes who aren't ready to stop drinking. Yet.

So, why not come and say hi?

No judgy pants allowed on here I'm afraid, cakes and cheeses are!

And for those who want to know a bit more about the Bus, HERE is our journey so far.

Of course you're not the only gay in the village.

I'M the only gay in the village.

you're the only man in the village - will that not do you? you wanna be more special do ya?

I am Special Gay.

Like the breakfast cereal.

not with your dress sense your not!

sorry i have to share what's been making me laugh out loud. it is quite a refreshing change to be slagged off for being too trivial. i'm more used to being called a man hating feminist, too serious, no sense of fucking humour, needs to lighten up, thinks too much, reads too much into things etc etc.

i have a strange desire to go round mn posting about lettuce leaves and lipgloss for a change of abuse

and whats wrong with talking lipgloss!!! do you not know the disaster than can occur from buying the wrong one? buuger world poverty, just direct me to the loreal web site!

that would be 'bugger' of course!

MYODD Fellow newbie here, so no agenda. Just don't disappear. The dating thing is a side issue. Why not stay and chat and concentrate on getting yourself sorted for the moment.

FWIW, I am in a relationship with a heavy drinker. I'm chosing to stop drinking and I don't know how this will affect the relationship between me and DH. But for the moment, I'm concentrating on me.

Can anyone explain the gay in the village thing for me pls?

I think you'll find that I AM NOT DRINKING TODAY!!!!!!!!

Or tonight. I don't want to. For the first time in a long time, I don't want to drink. I promise

And MIF you are the most gorgeous man in the village, will that do?

@MYODD, the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is available to read for free online. Give that a go. xx

Saf - nope, not at all re me not wanting to hear it. You are right, as is Jesus

can someone direct me to a good but not too long (as in not the book itself) summary of the steps and what they entail? miflaw?

glad you're not drinking mouse maybe getting sick will turn out to be a good thing as in a turning point with your drinking? too soon for positive spin on the plague?

newlylush good approach to concentrate on you. You may get a whole range of reactions from your dh, but you won't know until it happens and the most important thing is that you seperate your drinking from his and that you find the kinds of support that help you with what you want to do.

My goodness... Take the kids out for a morning and there are pages and pages of posts!!

SAF - Your comments are so spot-on. I can't remember them all now, but I agree!!

MYODD - I don't think anyone is attacking you, and I don't think you are meaning to attack anyone here. It really is very simple: If you don't think your drinking is abnormal, that everyone else you know does exactly the same thing and life without it is, then Carry on drinking. Trouble is, you DO want to stop. You do (at some level) know it's abnormal and that not everyone else does it. Unfortunately, (and this is all the ladies here are trying to point out) is that your 'goal' (to turn into a non problem drinker is about as realistic) as winning goal at the 100M in 2012.

I really 'get' what you are saying about your relationship with alcohol. I have relied on alcohol since I started university. I am now 40. I actual call the wine bottle 'wayne'. It gives him a name. 'Wayne' used to be my best friend, my lover, my idol. I loved him and he loved me. Everyone was happy.

After a little while ( afew years) a few friends suggested that, perhaps, I should spend a little time away from Wayne. Of course, it was still love, so I didn't listen to my friends.

Wayne became more possessive. He doesn't like if I go out without him. ....

For me, it got to the point where Wayne didn't like me to get out of bed, so I stayed with him and stuck a DVD on for the kids.

Look these are the ramblings of someone who only finally plucked up the courage to walk away from Wayne 3 days ago, so I appreciate that I probably sound a bit mental - what with naming a wine bottle, but it helped me understand that I am about as in control of drinking wine as I would be of an abusive partner. And there is no way I would put up with that sort of shit from another human.

Do I think I will relapse? Who knows. I hope I don't, but there again, I hope I don't have a car crash, get him by a bus, get taken advantage of....

But 2 things I can tell you for sure: I am far less likely to go back with every day of sobriety I have and 2. Getting into a car srash, getting hit by a bus and getting taken advantage of are all less likely when you aren't stubbling around out of your brain.

Look, it's your call. I think you have seen enough of the ladies here for you to know if it's the right place for you. I came to this board the same day you did. I feel it is the right place for me. And, I have to say (bar the last 3 months for me) my drinking sounds very much like yours. But only you can decide that . If it's not, then it might be best to let us recovering alcoholics to it

SAF

The nearest thing I ever had to a sponsor gave me a hand-written version of this

www.soberrecovery.com/forums/inspirations-thoughts-poems-sayings/11354-12-steps-plain-english.html

As an atheist, I still find the whole "God" thing a problem sometimes, but in the mean time I get on with it.

Any help?

The only gay in the village was a character in Little Britian when it was still funny - Matt Lucas played a very "in your face" gay who was convinced that no one else around him could possibly be gay, even though everything suggested they were, becaue that would have meant he lost his sense of specialness and have to act (go out, form a relationship, meet people) instead of complaining. Funny to watch, probably less funny to live.

I hopped on this bus today because it was going my way and looked like a nice place to be. I felt I could really relate to the taking one day at a time thing - and that's why some of us were talking about lunch - plus mouse is such a hospitable hostess. Sometimes aweirdo someone a bit different does get on your bus, and even if you realise they haven't thought very carefully before boarding and really need a different bus to get to their destination you chat to them in a friendly way and offer them a polo. Might start a new thread for anyone taking one day at a time for whatever reason, so we can chat about lunch and going into town to our heart's content ! Thanks for having me on board today, I enjoyed the ride - it got me into town this afternoon very happily - and if you see me lurking at the back you'll know why !

And just one more thing:

ANyone who EXPECTS you to do anything is not a true friend.

If your friends EXPECT you to drink, knowing that there is a 50:50 chance (which it is, given you nor they ever know when it's going to happen) you will get absolutely wrecked, make a fool of yourself and put yourself in immediate and longer term danger, I'd question their friendship.

Maybe it makes them feel better about themselves: 'Oh, yeah, I was drunk... but, did you see MYODD - She was really shitfaced'

Sorry, that may sound harsh, but I feel you should think about that.

Best, NMB x

Yes, have seen Little Britain. Was a bit confused to find it on the thread, that's all. Presumably, the analogy is when someone suggests they are the only person with alcohol problems on the thread.

A more, shall we say, "classic" saying than "only gay in the village" is

"poor me, poor me, pour me another"

I do some work for a couple of hours and what happens ... lordy. Attacked for hummus consumption!!

We do post about all sorts of things on here. A week ago I was posting about the loss of child because that affected my drinking. This week I am focusing on taking care of myself whilst I don't drink and yes, that might involve a few conversations about hummus and fruity tea and even cake. Because the small things do matter here. Because we all know that a child pissing on a pillow and not being able to clean it can be annoying. Because we all know that small annoying things can give us an excuse to drink. That's all it takes isn't it - "ooh, I've had a tough day, I deserve it". I do it to myself all the time.

I once worried about posting about DD's bowel habits. I was told to post about anything because really its all connected to our drinking isn't it. How we react to small situations. Whether we nurture ourselves.

So yes, I'm going to high five people on day 2 or day 3 or day 4, because I know it took strength and will power to get there. And I know that encouragement helps some people. Straight talking helps others. Some days its downright silly on here, other days there are a lot of tears, frustration and stomping of feet. If you read back over the thread you will find a lot of practical advice on not drinking.

MYODD you seem to be angry and lashing out and that is ok. None of us skipped onto the bus feeling sunny and bright. We all fought part of our journey here. Many of us still fight things daily. And we are there for each other when we do, whether we are drinking, sober or struggling inbetween.

I have been where you are, trust me, many of us have been there. Its hard to imagine that life works without booze. That its bright and colourful. The difficulty is that we are all telling you life does work better. And you don't seem to be open to that possibility. Which is hard, because that is what we are all pretty much working towards. Practical help is not going to do much if you don't really believe that you need help in the first place.

You can shout and scream, tell us that we are frivolous or whatever else. But don't blame us for what you do next. And you know what, people here are nice, so if you aren't ready now, everyone will be here when you are.

thanks for the clarification MIFLAW

juggling you can talk about food on here anytime. We even started a friday night recipe. Because you know what. It fucking matters. Life matters. Its too precious to piss up a wall. So there you go. Post on flapjacks, cake, sandwiches or whatever you want.

thanks miflaw.

i can see how step 1 can be a real stumbling block.

think i might need to read a bit about how they're put into action.

have you done the friday night recipe thing? is there one this week?