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Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Blowing Away The Booze In The Autumn Breeze.

999 replies

Mouseface · 21/09/2011 12:22

Hello.

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus. Smile

I'm mouse and I have an abusive relationship with alcohol. I can't have just the one drink, ever.

I'm not alone here, there are Babes who are sober and have been for some time, Babes who are still drinking and trying their best to stop or cut down and then there are Babes who aren't ready to stop drinking. Yet.

So, why not come and say hi?

No judgy pants allowed on here I'm afraid, cakes and cheeses are! Grin

And for those who want to know a bit more about the Bus, HERE is our journey so far.

OP posts:
swallowedAfly · 25/09/2011 20:11

evening Smile

i have been scoffing chocolate - not good for the diet but feels really necessary tonight. feeling glad it is nightime and ds is in bed.

day 2 done. well done to you too msgee - we just did an alcohol free weekend Smile

sleep well x

Makeyerowndamndinner · 25/09/2011 20:21

Thanks Scoundrel. I will have a look at the meeting finder. He didn't mean that AA was just a bunch of old men full stop, but that my local meeting was. Because I'm so rural, we don't have the same diverse groups as in the cities, there is just one group and according to my support worker that is just full of men in their fifties.

However, I don't mind travelling further afield if I have to so I shall have a look at the website.

thursomuchtolookforwardto · 25/09/2011 20:31

Hello Babes,

back from a long way away (from me!),

Mrsmousiethemouseface I knew something was up, you take care, lots of love. xx

Ma I bet DD loves you for the sugar rush, and everything else!

I can't write any more, as I feel as though I've been run over by a bus (not you lot though!). DC has a lovely room, and lovely neighbours. I have only been up to smell his bed once, since we've been back Sad.

Empty house, and heartbroken. Better tomorrow.
Thanks for being there.
All my love
L xxxx

Fairenuff · 25/09/2011 20:32

Saf I was going to suggest having the chocolate. Sometimes you have to just listen to your body telling you what you need (not alcohol though!) Grin.

I too have had an alcohol-free weekend for the first time in ages and ages. In fact, day 7 nearly done now and I feel fabulantastic. I know that's not a word but it's how I feel Grin. I'm 5lbs lighter with no more grey hairs and ready to face the week ahead.

Now, I'm putting the kettle on. Peppermint tea, anyone, or if you prefer I have some orange, mango and cinammon. x

dementedma · 25/09/2011 20:35

ah Thurso - that will be me Wednesday night after I take DD to the airport as she heads off on the next stage of her life.
Booze-free and off to bed to listen to the rain.

Scoundrel · 25/09/2011 20:35

I wonder if your Prism worker (sorry, not sure what prism is?) has actually been to your local meeting? I would be very surprised if it were exclusively male. I know I'm very lucky that in a big city with a very strong reputation for recovery that there are all kinds of people at the meetings. For example tonight, there were about fourty people at the meeting (it's quite a big meeting compared to others but by no means the biggest). The gender split was about 2/3 men 1/3 women, which is typical for a lot of meetings. Interestingly my home group is gender split the other way, there's no particular reason for that it's just the way it works out week after week.

I sat with a bunch of women age 30ish to 65ish (mostly at the younger end) most of whom I've met before and like, it felt very comfortable and comforting. I've seen plenty of younger women at meetings too - don't know if this would be relevant to you as I have no idea how old you are Grin I'm often in awe of young people finding their way into AA. It took me about 15 years to get around to it Blush

Scoundrel · 25/09/2011 20:37

Aw Thurso Sad I know we're not supposed to hug people here on MN but I wish I could xx

BBwannaB · 25/09/2011 20:38

notevenamousie Sun 25-Sep-11 19:19:42

WOW Noteven just wow! I am so impressed with the transformation you have made in the last few months, you are inspring.
XX

swallowedAfly · 25/09/2011 20:41

big hugs thurso - well done x

well done on the week faire! Smile

in my town there is one aa meeting at the bottom of the red light district in town near all the services for homeless men and fairly late so not exactly accessible.

i think it does depend where you live.

swallowedAfly · 25/09/2011 20:42

i don't live in the town but in a village outside and that is the only meeting listed for this county weirdly.

Makeyerowndamndinner · 25/09/2011 20:51

I'm 36 Scoundrel. Prism is our local alcohol and substance misuse service. I had a look at the meeting finder and there are actually a few that I could get to. Perhaps I could try a couple of different ones and see which I preferred?

BBwannaB · 25/09/2011 21:02

Thurso a big hug from me as well, look after yourself this week.
makeyourown where approx do you live? Maybe one of the babes could come with you to a meeting, if you want company.

BBwannaB · 25/09/2011 21:04

Just looked up Prism, unfortunately you are a long, long way from me, so I can't come with you (except in spirit thought)

Makeyerowndamndinner · 25/09/2011 21:52

That is an incredibly kind thought though BBwannaB - thank you.

Isindebetterplace · 26/09/2011 04:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nomorebeer · 26/09/2011 06:56

Happy birthday Isinde - Hope you have a fab day.

I am also tired, kids up since 5am and grumpy DP!!!!

I've looked back over this thread. Msgee - What you have been through is so very tough. Your letter is lovely.

To all of you who have completed months and years of sobriety: I am in awe.

I managed yesterday, so today is day 2 for me.

Wishing you all a happy day NMB x

notevenamousie · 26/09/2011 07:10

Happy Birthday Inde - safe travels and hope there are lots of treats!
thurso I guess I won't really get it - but I hope this can turn into time for your life to become even more fulfilling, however little it feels like it.

nmb definitely just post as much as you want about how you're feeling, no apologies. Do you need to tell your family yet? Honesty is definitely the way towards recovery but that definitely is not the same as feeling you have to tell the whole world that you have a problem with alcohol by yesterday. I still tend to "come out" on a case-by-case basis.

myodd is your support worker in recovery himself? It might be a while since he's been to your local meeting if not. If you can get up to say, Wrexham, I'll come with you, childcare permitting - but you sound like you feel confident enough to just go yourself which is brilliant. The type of support services you describe certainly have their uses, but let's be honest, you'd not be posting here if it had worked for you, so maybe time to try something else. As Scoundrel said, there are more men than women, but I made my home group somewhere that is male dominated because the only way to change that is to get into service myself. How did last night go? I hope you are feeling ok this grey Monday morning.

Hello to everyone else. DD's big and hopefully final meeting today for me - though I know the plans and what will be said I am still a bit apprehensive. More househunting and work chasing too. Love to all x

swallowedAfly · 26/09/2011 07:15

happy birthday indie and have a lovely trip Smile

day 3.

woke up in near darkness. autumn is definitely here. keep thinking about that clock change coming up

good luck at meeting noteven - not sure what it's about but hope it goes as well as can be expected or better x

Blackduck · 26/09/2011 07:27

Okay too many 'I feel crap mornings' and too many 'don't recall going to bed' nights. Time to call it a day. So day one starts here......
And hopefully might lose some weight too

Makeyerowndamndinner · 26/09/2011 07:33

notevenamousie I'm not sure if my support worker is in recovery, and if he is I don't know what his particular drug of choice was. He said that the most he was willing to share was that 'he had not gained his knowledge from a textbook.'

But he was also of the opinion that my drinking problem was not a disease but a choice. That it was up to me whether I pick up and if I did then it was up to me whether to continue. I know that I make a poor choice to drink when I relapse, but making the right choice is just not as easy as all that.

I'm not physically addicted to alcohol - like I said I can go for weeks and months of being sober - it's a psychological thing. Also my body doesn't seem to process alcohol in the same way that other peoples bodies do. I get drunk far more quickly and am not in control when under the influence.

Interestingly, my mother (who was adopted) fairly recently found her birth mother and along with her a whole new extended family. Alcoholism runs through the women like a poisonous thread. Coincidence or family trait? Who knows?

Anyway I massively appreciate the offers to accompany me to meetings. That is so lovely that there would be people prepared to do that.

Makeyerowndamndinner · 26/09/2011 07:42

I'm worried about feeling a fraud if I go to a meeting though. I'm well aware that I have a problem with drink - I would never deny it - but alcoholism to me is a physical addiction. I'm not sure I can stand up and say my name's Makeyerowndamndinner and I'm an alcoholic. I'd feel like a liar.

I'm not physically addicted, I'm just a wanker when I'm drunk Sad

I imagine that real alcoholics would wonder what I was doing there and would think me silly. If you're not physically addicted then you're choosing to drink aren't you? It's just me not having enough willpower.

nomorebeer · 26/09/2011 08:23

Morning Blackduck - welcome.

I joined the bus yesterday and it's a lovely, welcoming and supportive place.

Noteven - There are a few members of my family I feel I can tell. The ones that have been there when I've got plastered and starting crying and being horrible to people. I feel confident that I can say 'You are a happy drinker. I am not ready to get into the whole 'I feel I have an alcohol problem' but I feel I can say enough to have them understand why I would prefer not to drink.

Well done SAF on Day 3. I, too, am not looking forward to the clocks going back!

MsGee · 26/09/2011 08:52

Boing! Morning,

Day 3 boinginess here, plus my nice clean office helps. I drove DD to nursery and thought, 'aah, autumn is here'. As well as Day 3 it is day 1 of diet...

NMB thanks for lovely words. well done on getting to day 2. how are you feeling? I always get lots of cravings for sweet things.

noteven hope that today goes well - am sure it will. It must feel like a big milestone and I can only imagine the range of emotions you will be feeling at getting through this. ((( )))

Inde Happy Birthday

saf day 3. Hurrah to us. I must admit that doing this together is helping. Anyway, its very autumnal here too. I really like it but must admit I quite like it but struggling to resist the urge to go back to bed with a book and a biscuit.

blackduck welcome aboard. what made you post today?

MYODD I understand what you are saying about being an alcoholic. I once described myself as someone with a disfunctional relationship with alcohol who is not really in control of the relationship and where alcohol has a negative impact on my life. Then I re-read it and went, hmmn, so that would be an alcoholic then?! I don't think the labels matter, you don't need to stand up and say that (I presume, although not been to a meeting) - can you for now think that you are going to go because you want to change / end the relationship you have with alcohol?

Mouse just want you to know that I am thinking of you. Are you feeling any better? (( ))

Anyway, more coffee on the go here if anyone wants anyone. No cake (you all have to share the pain on my diet) if I am on breakfast duty whilst Mouse recuperates... but I have fruit and a selection of meusli bars. And more coffee.

xx

MsGee · 26/09/2011 08:53

Am such a pedant I cannot let the inconsistency in my post lie ...

Ok ... cake for all but eat it up the back of the bus away from me Grin

dementedma · 26/09/2011 09:33

well done you NMB - I know what an achivement that is.
Welcome BlackDuck.
happy birthday to the fabulous Indie.