Not smutty - genuine question - you must answer honestly!

[handlemecarefully]

Sorry to ask such an intimate question but I would like to know how often you and your partner have sex (and how old your children are...because I wonder if the two are related).

Don't post unless you are going to be honest.

I'll go first: only about once every other month! (so about 6x per year) - due to my total disinterest...(currently seeking help to find my missing libido - poor dh ). Children are 19m (immaculate conception!) and 3.5

The reason I wish to know is that this is a taboo subject which people understandably don't always discuss, and I just want to get a feel for the 'norm'. Was particularly prompted to ask after geekgrrl's thread where she mentioned that she and her dh get jiggy with it twice per week and people jokingly bantered that he should consider himself lucky. So I suspect that there are some relationships where it is infrequent.

I'm not after any gratuitous details!

At least once a week if not two or three. DH wants it a lot more but often tries it on when there is no time.

Children are 5 and 2

I do need help getting my libido back.

I'm a bit the opposite nuffindoin - sometimes we don't have it as often as we maybe should because I always feel I HAVE to have just showered/bathed - silly I know but the paranoia was set from a viscious comment a lad said when I was younger and it just sticks.

we're go through phases of 2-3 times a week to once a month.
TBH I prefer the once a month phase, it's great fun and I always enjoy it() but I just can't be bothered most of the time. The 2-3 times a week phases happen very rarely!
Lately it's been even less than once a month though, I have no idea why but I just have no interest at all.

The Dsses are 6, 4 and 2 years.

Interesting thread - perhaps shows that for most men it's more just a ping! and then they are off but for women there are so many other things to factor in

At least once a week and if dh is extremely lucky twice

My ds will be 8 in Jan and dd is 6.

We too vary between 3 times in a week, and once a month. Currently not for the past six weeks as I'm pg and feeling inattractive and tired.
DDs are 5 & 6.

what really pees me off on this subject is the lack of medical help!

You go to the GP and their first question is likely to be 'are you having marital problems' or something in that vein! Or it's put down to tiredness (let's face it if you have the hots tiredness goes out the window). I firmly believe (and I have nothing to base it on!) that it's hormonal or a chemical imbalance. When you think of the massive changes during pregnancy is it any wonder that things go off kilter?

Years ago Miriam Stoppard had a column in the TV Times and she was trialing some HRT with testosterone in it - she said it was absolutely fab and could understand why men thought about sex every 2 seconds - but since then there seems to have been no further word about it? I know you can get testosterone laced HRT (and the pill I think!)in the US and I believe its quite difficult to get dosages correct but at least in the US they will test your 'free testosterone' levels to see if they're lacking can't see them doing that here.

I've seen on some websites where women in the US stock up like mad when they're coming to the UK!

Does the frequency of jigging about affect the closeness of your relationship?

My boys are 3 and 20 months

We have sex everyday although its usually a very quick, im just lying there trying to go to sleep type sex.

I would like sex maybe once a week (proper sex with foreplay!) Dh likes sex all the bloody time.

dh works nights and due to his shift pattern has a different 2 days off each week. So on the third week he has 5 nights in a row off.

We have sex every day almost that he is off, so as follows:-

Week 1: 3 times.

Week 2: 2 times.

Week 3: 4/5 times.

Our kids are 14, 11, 9, 3 and 1.

When the older 3 are at school and the little ones sleep in the afternoons, we take every opportunity!

Can't get enough of each other and we have been together 4 and a bit years.

Crikey, just read that back and I sound like a brazen hussy!

btw not insensitive, i;d jump on peter given half a chance lol

I've been wondering about going to see my gp about it, because it's so bad.

I have to sort this out, because dh didn't sign up for a sexless marriage. He's lovely too and I still fancy him and vice versa - I just can't seem to do anything about it .

About every 8 weeks
DS is 10 mths

Not happy about this but I don't seem to like it anymore!!

I'm going to be brave and add this too:
We both do a bit of diy too and tell each other about it.

kama - I love it!!! I would hate to go too long without any. btw We don't have full blown penetrative sex EVERY time, it could be him getting all the pleasure, it could be my turn, it could also be 99% foreplay with finishing each other without penetration.

What I'm getting at, hmc, is that it doesn't have to be full sex to have a satisfying sex life. Kissing, stroking, massaging, cuddling, licking - anything you like really. There is no "norm" imo.

I'm going to post again later when have more time (particularly as I want to ask a few things,and maybe empathise with /suggest something to nuffindoing!). Children being very full on currently.

If dh had anything to do with it, every day but as it is, about twice a week. dd is 7 months old.

Must print this off and show it to dp, who is convinced everyone is at it every day over and over and over...regardless of the number of children in the house.....pah

recently - about the same as you, hmc.
nothing wrong with my libido, but I'm just so damn shattered by bedtime, and also a job and a 4 year-old mean that mine and DP's time together is spent in very un-erotic communication about pick-up rotas etc.

I need to 'be in the mood' all day, rather than just switch personas after cleaning my teeth. It's a v difficult gear change.

We both work several evenings a week, too - never go out together.

forgot to say we have 2 children age 5 and 2

My dh has an irritating habit of comparing our sex life as it is now with how it was when we met and saying we used to do it 4 times a day every day!!! as if that's meant to make me say "Oh yeah, I remember, in that case take me now!" I feel so lame reminding him that we are 10 years down the road, we are not in the honeymoon period anymore, my body has been through a hard time in the last year and I'm not feeling so sexy with all the excess preg weight, and I spend all day with a baby clawing at me, bed is the only space I get, so lay off! Sometimes I dread bedtime cos I know I'll end up offending him yet again.