Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating a shorter man

166 replies

Darnsarfupnorf · 11/09/2011 02:23

Any ideas?

Ive been chatting to a man on facebook for a little while, weve met through mutual friends a few times and really get along. hes really lovely and i think we could have a pretty good relationship (my first since dd was born) but hes quite a bit shorter than me and its really putting me off!

Has anyone experienced this? Did you get over it? and how?

I dont get many chances at starting relationships so I dont want to blow it by being silly!

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 11/09/2011 13:23

Im only 5ft 2" But I'd not date someone below 5ft 10" short men just don't appeal to me.

WorzselMummage · 11/09/2011 13:24

I did it once, i wouldn't do it again as i just couldn't find him sexy which was a shame because he was a really nice guy. Shagging him just felt really wrong.

Snorbs · 11/09/2011 13:24

Would a man be considered shallow if he only considered dating women with large breasts?

ASByatt · 11/09/2011 13:27

Still shocked here.

I guess I'm not one of those 'lil girlies who needs to feel all protected by her big strong man' types, then. Hmm

MitchiestInge · 11/09/2011 13:28

although now I feel a bit bad for short men, it's no wonder they have a (possibly undeserved) reputation for being a bit chippy

but doesn't alter the fact that they are generally a bit less sexually desirable than taller men does it?

ASByatt · 11/09/2011 13:29

In fact I'll just file my brain under 's for superficial' and slip my kitten heels back on, shall I?

MitchiestInge · 11/09/2011 13:29

don't they earn less too?

InnocentRedhead · 11/09/2011 13:30

I used to be into those 'rugby, masculine, bigger' men you speak of. I thought that was my type. I am now with someone who is short (my height - but short as man-height goes) and i have never being more in love.

You need to look at more than height. Take the chance - you may soon forget the height difference. And if you can't forget the height when with him; then he isn't for you.

Would you kick yourself if you let something potentially beautiful pass you by?

ASByatt · 11/09/2011 13:30

Mitchiest - erm, I think you forgot to add the bit about that being in your opinion?

Please don't assume to speak for everyone.

ASByatt · 11/09/2011 13:31

sorry, cross posts - I meant the comment about shorter men being less sexually desirable.

MitchiestInge · 11/09/2011 13:33

I said generally because am going by thread responses and also a general sort of impression, apologies for where/when I implied that women universally are repelled by shorter men

RustyBear · 11/09/2011 13:36

Not sure I should be posting here, because I am so angry about some of the attitudes on this thread.

Yes it is shallow to have a 'personal preference' about not dating a person because of their physical attributes.

I just hope none of you have to watch their gorgeous, intelligent, kind and lovely, but short DS go through life suffering this kind of shit.

All you are doing is perpetuating a stereotype.

InnocentRedhead · 11/09/2011 13:37

Well said RustyBear !!!

DimplesOHara · 11/09/2011 13:40

My XP was 5ft 3, I'm 6ft. Like others said it wasn't a problem when we were first together but after 3yrs it was one of the main reasons we split.
I think that if the difference isn't too pronouced then it wouldn't really be a problem. I had to put up with a lot of 'here's XP and his bodyguard' type stuff.

SansaLannister · 11/09/2011 13:52

'You need to look at more than height. Take the chance - you may soon forget the height difference. And if you can't forget the height when with him; then he isn't for you. '

Everyone has ideas about what is attractive to them and what is not.

Do this guy a favour, OP, if the spark isn't there, and you're put off, JOG ON. You can both spend time finding someone more suitable for you.

Don't try to force something that isn't there. It's hardly the crime of the century and it's a waste of both your time.

And yes, if a man said he'd only date women with large breasts well, then, on he goes.

SansaLannister · 11/09/2011 13:54

All this person is doing is being honest with herself.

Your child's abilities are part of the world we live in and yes, it is full of people who use physicality as a criterion for attractiveness, as they have done for millennia, the same way financial wealth is also a criterion, or youth, etc.

Research has shown that human babies are attracted to faces that are most symmetrical. Are they shallow as well?

It's part of human nature to use physicality as a mark of what the individual considers fitness in a mate.

RustyBear · 11/09/2011 13:59

Lots of things are in human nature. Doesn't mean they are acceptable.

SansaLannister · 11/09/2011 14:01

Perhaps not to you, Rusty, but to others, they are.

Some people don't want to date a person who isn't earning a certain amount, is or isn't of a certain age, has small breasts or a small penis, doesn't support a particular football team, etc.

So what? Let them find someone whom they prefer and likewise.

Ponders · 11/09/2011 14:01

\link{http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/06/10/article-1192162-054BD73E000005DC-400_468x753.jpg\she does look a bit like his mum...} but good for her wearing heels anyway!

I come from a family of tall women & all the partners are at least a little bit shorter, which is weird Confused

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly · 11/09/2011 14:01

I don't fancy short men but appreciate that is my issue. I am 5ft9 and well built and don't want to look ever bigger next to a smaller partner.

I do enjoy my height and build though when with a larger guy. DH is 6ft3 and very broad.

However, I am overweight curvy, and I wouldn't be offended if someone didn't fancy me because of it. It takes all sorts.

SansaLannister · 11/09/2011 14:04

Exactly, ItsNot. I have a good mate who prefers only the curvier woman. As he puts it, 'I like a woman with a little meat on her bones'. Well, good for him.

RustyBear · 11/09/2011 14:10

Yes, I know Sansa, and those people are shallow.

Sorry, but it's true.

SansaLannister · 11/09/2011 14:16

In your opinion, they are. My opinion is that trying to force something that's not there is a waste of everyone's time. If you don't find someone shorter/small breasts/low-earner/little penis/whatever attractive, then do yourselves a favour and don't pursue a relationship in which there isn't any spark.

The world is full of people. There are plenty who turn you on with whom you can have a relationship.

I'm a brunette. Some men won't date a brunette. Not offended, don't care, don't find htem shallow, let them go find a blonde or ginger or whatever.

RustyBear · 11/09/2011 14:30

I'm not saying you should pursue a relationship if you don't feel a spark, I'm saying you shouldn't rule out a whole swathe of men because of a physical attribute.

And don't perpetuate myths like 'Short man Syndrome'

There are no disadvantages to dating a shorter man that are not created by prejudice.

SansaLannister · 11/09/2011 14:32

'I'm not saying you should pursue a relationship if you don't feel a spark, I'm saying you shouldn't rule out a whole swathe of men because of a physical attribute.'

Why not? What's it to you, other than you take it personally how strangers decide whom to date. Some even rule out whole swathes of people based on religion or ethnicity. It's a free country. People can rule out whomever they like. If that bothers you, that's your issue, not their's.

I've had experience of Short Man Syndrome. To me, it's not a myth.