The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sweeping Into Autumn With A One Way Ticket To Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Phew, just in time!

I'm mouse and I love a few to drink. I love all things cheese and I love MrMouse

Welcome to the Bus. We are a collection of drinkers, non-drinkers, and those who are somewhere in between but we all have the same thing in common, we can't just have 1 drink and then stop.

Come say hi, we don't bite .

Here are the other threads to date, if you have a spare hour or seven to kill.

OUR HISTORY

Hi babes. Found you.

I'm mistress of pemberley (can you tell I'm an Austen fan, or perhaps just a Colin Firth fan), and I don't think I have control over my drinking. I love it, but the next day is always filled with remorse, shame, anxiety, melancholy, and more often than not a stinking hangover. Ive been sober for 3 days now.

First day of job went well. Feeling very positive about the future, if not a bit knackered. I think homemade chicken and chorizo stew may be ditched in favour of a takeaway pizza tonight.

Glad to see the general good moods on the bus tonight.

msgee your post nearly made me spit my diet coke everywhere.

And noteven, I just wanted to say how amazing I think you are. You're inspiring me a lot. You all are, but I've been reading just how far noteven has come. Sorry if I've embarrassed you.

MOP - good news about your first day

MsGee - an XP of mine once bought me a sex long toy and said it would remind me of him when he went away of business.

I thought to myself, 'yes, it will. Something else that requires more effort on my part than yours!'

noteven - thanks for having faith in me. I'm normally right on queue but have been a bit side tracked. I'm sure it would be more than okay for any of us to set a new thread, the job has just landed with me because I can link and actually, makes me feel needed and useful.

I'm out with a friend soon so will say goodnight to you all now.

Be back tomorrow with better service, I promise xx

Hi all. I need a plan for the weekend as Mum is coming to stay and will want wine. Dh (who supports me giving up wine, but not giving up all alcohol ) suggests I switch to beer.

I am umming and ahhhing. I really don't want a hangover this weekend (for once) I know that if i have a glass of wine I won't stop at one. I think it might be easier with beer. If dh is drinking beer and mum is drinking wine its going to be hard to resist.

And what is 'projecting'?

Thanks for the thread mouse, sorry you are in so much pain.

Does your mum like spicy food? Any kind of curry tastes better with beer. Failing that, buy some half bottles of white wine and make up a story about thinking you might be becoming sensitive to sulphur dioxide. And tell your Dh he is in charge of serving drinks. And get the best and most interesting beer you can.....

Hi scatty

Projecting is thinking to far ahead. It's much easier to just think about today, the here and now and worry about tomorrow, well tomorrow

However, if you know you're going to be in a situation where you don't want to drink it makes sense to have some strategies in place.

It really depends on what your ultimate goal is. Are you aiming to cut down, drink occassionally or stop altogether?

it wasn't anything seedy. it was a card saying how much he loved me and some money in it to spend just on me, not the kids or house. My first thought was that we don't have money to spare like that - if we did i would be using it to pay off a bill or three - and my second thought was to be ashamed of my first thought, and my third thought was that there will be a payback.

fairnuff I see what you mean. I don't really have a goal except to get rid of headaches/hangovers. If I can do this by drinking 1-2 beers then thats great but 2 glasses of wine gives me a hangover and i have never been able to have just 1!

legal I may well be sensitive to sulpher dioxide . I'm warming to the idea of sticking to beer as dh will support me on this.

Have only one thought Ma, he loves you. xx

Or perhaps two! you don't need to pay it back.

x posts ma yes he definately loves you .

fairnuff when mum asks what my plans are for Xmas I can tell her that I'm not projecting any more .

I use the drinkaware site alot and my goal on there is to stick to the recommended units of 2 per day (they don't let you save them up and binge drink ). Its quite hard as thats 1 drink really.

I know he does. I just don't love him!

It is hard to stick to one drink scatty which is why it's often easier to just not have any.

If you want to have a couple of beers plan your other drinks just as carefully. Start with a long, cold soft drink. I'm partial to lime or grapefuit with soda and tons of ice. Then have another soft drink and make sure you're not hungry. This should make it easier to sip the beer rather than glugging it down and turning to the wine

And you certainly can use 'not projecting' to avoid committing to anyone

Marking my place, I get panicky if I can't find you Babes!

Projecting isn't so much thinking too far ahead, it is when you start expecting and trying to control your and other people's reactions to a situation you can't control. It's different to planning. For example, on Saturday I'm going to watch my cousin in a concert. It's going to be my first drinking occasion. I can plan, for example, to ring my sponsor in the interval, and to come home if it gets too much. But if I start wondering about how I will feel seeing others drinking, and what if there's someone drunk, and what if someone offers me a drink, and what will I say about not drinking, and what if I feel tempted and I can't get out, and....
I can't control how I'll think or I'll feel, so dwelling on it is pointless. But, if I feel vulnerable, I'll ring my sponsor (must see if she is also out - you mean she's allowed a life surely not ;) !) and now I can stop thinking about it.

MoP - thank you. I'm not embarrassed - it's what happened to me that makes me of most use to others. It took me to worse depths than many here. Some of that was circumstance - I never did have any help with DD, it wasn't my drinking that took that away, there never was any back up really, or if there was it was very reluctant. My denial was deep, painful, and really had me in its grip for a long time. AA has worked for me and it is the only thing I see working in alcoholics that are affected like I was. That's not to say if you get it sooner like most of the ladies here have, there aren't at that point much more options, as many have demonstrated. The biggest thing for me was to finally 'put my guns on the table'. Alcohol had me beaten. Thank God I don't have to fight it any more.

Do you not think anythng can be salvaged Ma?

OMG - found you! Had slight panic attack that I'd fallen off the bus and hadn't even noticed!

Hello, I'm TheBossofMe, and I stoped drinking 4 weeks ago tomorrow [shyly proud face emoticon] I stopped drinking because it was negatively impacting on my life, my marriage and my daughter. I have found it hard in places, and easier than I thought in others, and have managed to get through the tough parts by eating my own bodyweight in apples (perhaps I secretly think they might turn into cider in my tummy).

Oh, and I can't bake, so will be watching the thread for tips.

mousie - lovely to have you back, and so sorry you're having a tough time with the pain at the moment. Re nemo and sleep, we had a similar problem with DD, the groclock was fab. Eventually she bored of it, and started getting up again, so then we linked it to a star chart, and that's got her going through again. Except of course on Sunday nights, somehow its always a Sunday....

scattyspice - does your mother know you're trying to give up wine? I've started telling friends that I'm not drinking, and its amazing how considerate people have been - one friend who always used to rock up with a bottle of wine for a chat when bored turned up the other day with a basket of cakes (which we ate in about 10 mins flat). She may surprise you...

Am feeling very down today, no idea why, just a bit tired and fed up. raining here - monsoon season in full flow.

Am having first dinner party since I stopped drinking tomorrow. DH and I have discussed how we're going to handle it - guests will drink for sure (and we'll get wine in for them) but I;m going to make a jug of non-alcy cocktail for DH and I to have as an aperitif, and the same with alcohol for guests, and then just lay places for us without wine glasses at the table. Someone here is always in rehab, so suspect guests will have no problem. Earlier dinner with kids as well, so less likely to be drunken.

Morning all,

theboss. Well done with the 4 weeks, that is awesome!!! And ur plans sounds great for tomorrow. I am sure that you will have a great time.

mouse. Has texted me asking me to do The breakfast run, so it's a Scottish breakfast! Lorne sausage rolls, with red or brown sauce, and cups of tea all round.
Mid morning snack today will be abernethy biscuits and Dundee cake!

Hope everyone is good, away to get in the shower and get this day started properly, take care everyone.

Love bafana
Xx

Morning all,

theboss, well done .

I am off to work in a mo, so just popping in.

I have my "Graduation" ceremony this afternoon, only in a very minor way, but still, it's something I've achieved in the last year. In fact, it's something I've achieved since I joined the bus back in October!
Thank you all, I couldn't have done it without you.

I'll probably be back tomorrow afternoon.

Mucho love to everyone
xxxx

Morning tawdryhepburn, and welcome,

I cross posted with you.

I have to rush off now, but, please stay on here, and someone will be along to talk to you very shortly.

Stick around, we've all been there .
xx

hey tawdry
welcome, sorry you are feeling so desperate this morning. But as someone wise once said to me - none of us come through the door, singing and laughing, because we are all here because we have a problem with alchohol.

The good news is that there is a solution!!
I found my solution in two places - here and AA.
Lots of people here are trying to control their drinking, I have stopped completely, and have managed one day at a time to not drink for 9 months, which believe me, when I got here, I thought was impossible. I could not contemplate not drinking for 4 days let alone 9 months!!

If you don't want to drink tonight, you need to plan your actions for the evening, ones that will allow you to choose not to drink. I often self sabotaged by arriving thirsty or hungry, and immediatley guzzle a large glass of wine, which then led to...... not knowing how I got home, making a tit of myself etc.
So - plan what you are going to drink now.
Can you swop with your friend and do the driving,
Can you take your car anyway?
Chest infection with antibiotics excuse?

Keep posting, and we will all help

Bafana
xx

Be honest with her then tawdry I don't tell alot of people, but I do tell the people that I am closest to. I found in my early days it was really really important to me, that I had people that supported me, and had my back.

Keep posting, it's early. People much wiser and more articulate than me will be along soon!

You have taken the first step admitting to yourself that it is a problem, and that it's a problem that you want to deal with, the wonderful thing is that there is a solution, you just have to want the solution ALOT!!! I did, I wanted to stop drinking more than anything, what it wasn't destroying physically, it was eroding mentally - I was a shell of me. And I very definitely have me back again - and it's great!!

Right. need to get ready for work!
Still sitting here in a towel and hair is sopping..

Bafana