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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

To be angry at his abortion request?

792 replies

Breevandercamp1750 · 22/08/2011 18:02

I'll keep this brief but a few months ago we discovered that I was pregnant again. We already have 3 DCs, youngest is almost 9 months. He was over the moon about new arrival but in the last few days has changed his mind. I'm 18 weeks now and really don't want an abortion.

I don't understand his issue, we live in a large house with spare bedrooms and can easily afford it.

I just don't understand. I feel so empty.

OP posts:
FigsAndWine · 27/08/2011 22:05

I feel that if the OP is genuine, then she will come back to the thread because there are so many people here who are emotionally invested in her and have given 'of themselves' (iyswim) and given her a huge amount of support. A few troll hunters wouldn't make any difference to that, when there are so many people who believe in and empathise with the OP, surely?

BooBooGlass · 27/08/2011 22:10

Figsandwine, if you are so vulnerable as to be posting things like this here, then yes a few mean people would prevent you coming back. I know it would me. And I fucking hate how much glee they're getting out of being so big and clever on the other thread, moaning about how things aren't how they used to be. What hey fail to understand is that by getting their kicks liek this they could be cutting someone off from the only support they have. Just because something seems incredible, doesn;t mean it's not true ffs.

FigsAndWine · 27/08/2011 22:32

No BooBoo I don't feel that I have made myself vulnerable by what I posted; I've only said what I would to anyone in RL or online. But it still takes emotional engagement to recall emotionally charged stuff, to phrase it in a written way, and to want to share that stuff for others to (hopefully, that's the idea, anyway!) benefit from. But sometimes I do wonder whether it was appropriate or worthwhile doing so. This was one of those times.

Thanks for your response.

BooBooGlass · 27/08/2011 22:32

Nono figs I meant the OP. Not you

honeyandsalt · 27/08/2011 22:33

Boo, I include you in that, you have picked a nasty and inappropriate fight over this hypothesis of yours. You should have brought it up with the poster herself or MNHQ instead of derailing the support Bree was getting over her - very serious - issue by effectively shouting "here Bree never mind your real issues that girl over there thinks you're a troll". Don't you see? It's you at fault here.

FigsAndWine · 27/08/2011 22:36

Oh sorry Boo - have reread your post and see what you mean now. Blush

I'll just shut up! Grin

BooBooGlass · 27/08/2011 22:36

Hardly honey

BooBooGlass · 27/08/2011 22:38

Read my post of 20.37. I've been where the OP has been. I was pointing out the damage that troll hunters can do. I am NOT one. You want to point blame, blame them.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn · 27/08/2011 22:39

honeyandsalt I totally agree, they have basically acted as trollhunter hunters iyswim Confused

LeBJOF · 27/08/2011 22:39

Several threads have been deleted this week for being not what they seem, and it makes people nervous and wary of posting, and pulls the whole atmosphere down. I don't see anything gleeful in the tone of the other thread you mention, Boo. And I think that for the most part, where people have felt cynical, they have reported as per the guidelines. I think if anything, the derailing of this thread into finger-wagging as well as indiscreet expressions of cynicism, has made it difficult for anyone to just shrug and keep posting supportively if they wanted to. It has all got a bit ugly.

FigsAndWine · 27/08/2011 22:51

FFS would somebody please pm me a link to the other thread that you are talking about; I've looked through aibu and can't find it.

bibbitybobbityhat · 27/08/2011 22:54

Has someone said it is in aibu?

fargate · 27/08/2011 22:56

I think it's in chat.

bibbitybobbityhat · 27/08/2011 22:56

Am interested in why you think its in aibu, figs.

FigsAndWine · 27/08/2011 23:06

Because that's where I mainly 'hang out' bibbity Blush

Someone has PMed me the link; thank you very much. Smile

Loonytoonie · 27/08/2011 23:12

Bree, I send you strength for your next few days. I hope your tummy pains have stopped. There are tons of posters waiting to find another thread, maybe in Relationships, should you need to vent. We'll find it.

Am truly sorry that your H has done this to you and your children. Am also sorry that the machine that is MN has allowed some of it's 'uglier' side to slip through the net, but am certain you know that you have your supporters here.

Take care, and keep posting for the sake of your sanity.

TrickyBiscuits · 27/08/2011 23:41

Well this went arse over tit didn't it? Hmm

FabbyChic · 27/08/2011 23:49

I think you have to read what is written by an OP and answer with your heart if you can. I never consider a post is not what it seems, I just answer.

If it turns out to be false then what have you lost by being honest and open with your responses.

Who really cares if an OP is a troll? What difference does it make? Would your answers have been different?

It think not.

I never get emotionall involved in a thread, just interested.

honeyandsalt · 27/08/2011 23:49

I'd like to second loony's post, we're all still here for you Bree if you need to talk.

For what it's worth I have thought about it and actually I don't think anyone was calling you a troll at all! Certainly the poster accussed has said quite clearly it was not her intention. A storm in a teacup right when you need it least.

I'm totally behind you, as is anyone in their right mind. I'm very sad that you feel that you have been bullied off mumsnet at a time you need help, please remember that despite the infights MNers really do care about you.

I think you can be so blummin' proud of how you've handled yourself, people will rally around you in real life and be overjoyed to help you if you let them, really they will.

All the best x

ToothbrushThief · 28/08/2011 00:05

What Fabby said.

I've had a few events that if relayed on here would fit with TSC and her chum's description of 'obvious troll'. (The thread is in chat and whilst the original premise of the thread is well meant, the behaviour of TSC on this thread is out of order)

MN is one place you can come and safely talk about the stuff that is hard to discuss in RL. It can give you courage to deal with it, give you the ability to get perspective and support. If you have concerns take it off the thread OR RISK upsetting a woman in need. Is it really that important that you show off your superior ability at spotting fakes? For every correct call of a troll there must be loads that just turn away genuine MNetters in need. Shame on you.

I name change frequently - usually after I've exposed anything too personal because of my fear of an ex finding it.

It doesn't mean I'm a troll. I'd name change (and have done) to post anything like this

clam · 28/08/2011 00:24

The behaviour of some posters on this thread is vile. I've been MNing for a number of years now, and I've never been closer to quitting.

Well done, TSC and co.

honeyandsalt · 28/08/2011 00:25

Ah bugger I see it now Blush. What a bunch of fecking idiots, a shame they couldn't even own up. Angry

I guess I owe you an apology boo. I really think you should have brought it up direct with MNHQ rather than hijacking the thread though.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 28/08/2011 00:28

BooBoo didn't hijack the thread, it was basically over when she contributed and the OP had left.

honeyandsalt · 28/08/2011 00:50

Ah yes I see it was someone with giant norks who fired the first hunt the troll hunters arrow and killed the thread. FFS third apology this thread this is doing me no good at all - sorry boo. Again.

Well I hope Bree is now getting the support she needs in RL as clearly we're all crap. sigh.

tallwivglasses · 28/08/2011 00:56

AAAAAAAARGHHHH!!!

Think I might venture into...I dunno - chickens, or fly-ladying or long-haul journeys, Christmas crafts... Smile

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