A quick peck on the lips from a male friend, what does it mean?

[waitingfornaru]

I have been chatting to a man virtually every night on facebook for a couple of years. He's a family friend, we occasionally cross paths. Our conversations on there are mildly flirty every so often but neither of us like to progress into anything uncouth online.

Every night otherwise, near enough, talk about anything and everything. We don't use the Chat function or send private messages to eachother (Ok, about 2 each in two years), my reason mainly because he's already told me things like everytime he logs on, particular women always instantly send him messages, so I don't want to be like that. I also agree with him that there's nothing we can't say in 'public' on facebook, so no need for private messaging.



At a family wedding, we had our first real opportunity to sit and talk to eachother for several hours, having previously only been in the company of other family members or similar, here we were pretty much together most of the night, having both drunk, but him only a couple of pints, I gave him the usual hug goodbye and a kiss on the cheek, but he gave me a quick peck on the lips. It wasn't a misjudged aim.

What does that peck mean?




Everyone says that he likes me, but if this is alluded to in facebook conversations we both deliberately ignore it and try to change the subject!

We are both single by the way and in early 40s, both out of very long-term relationships exactly two years ago, both of us.

[AnyFucker]

yup

[AnyFucker]

< goes misty-eyed at the memories...>

[AnyFucker]

oi, wait a minute

back is not a feature here

[HenriettaFarthingay]

Ah, I remember the days, bloody freezing, nipples sticking out like cones, and a sticky hanky......oh the romance of it all....

[HenriettaFarthingay]

No no...of course not.

[honeyandsalt]

[BertieBotts]

Erm, okay, sorry, just sounded like serious advice to me.

[AnyFucker]

ah, yes, that's more like it

< has a lovely little daydream >

the quadriceps muscle cramps, the friction burns on the lower back, limping home with one shoe...

happy days

[AnyFucker]

"goin' roon the back" was a treat for Friday nights only

[AnyFucker]

and the ultimate experience...the exchange of the signet ring

< swoon >

[AnyFucker]

OP...are you taking notes here ?

This is helpful shit stuff for you !

[HenriettaFarthingay]

Ah, the memories are flooding back -Saturday afternoon up Kelvingrove Park, then a walk down Sauchiehall Street getting together enough cash for a couple of half pints.

As for the signet ring - lost it years ago.... :(

[HenriettaFarthingay]

Am coming over all emotional now.

[AnyFucker]

like the corners of my miiiiiind...

misty water coloured memreeeeeees

of the way were werrrrrrrrrrrrrre...

[AnyFucker]

my eyes are rcossing now

that typing looks funny < wipes a tear >

[AnyFucker]

crossing

[Whatmeworry]

What nationality is he - some peck the lips briefly rather than kiss the cheek.

[PeppermintPasty]

a sticky hanky...?? I've missed out on a bit of living.

[FellatioNelson]

I think the kiss on the lips was a very deliberate message, but as he is not someone you see all the time, you are going to have to make the next move. He'll be eagerly analysing all your messages and signals now to see if there is a subtle change in the way you are communicating with him.

I was going to suggest exactly what MrGin said - find a pretext to see him that is you asking for some manly help, rather than blatantly asking to see him socially. It's much more subtle, and you both seem to need to do this slowly!

If he is forthcoming with sais manly help then you could offer to make him a nice lunch or dinner as a thank you.

[FellatioNelson]

said not sais

[HenriettaFarthingay]

You have indeed PP - I'm a classy burd me, as you can obviously tell.

I'm very excited to hear if there was anything exciting happened on last night's FB chat.

[Smum99]

I really hope it turns out as you like but alarm bells ringing even so slightly..have you asked if he is seeing someone? If you disappeared off FB for a few days (genuinely busy/tied up with other things) would he be in contact? Do you text? Would you feel comfortable asking him for a favour? If you are true friends then he should have no objection to you asking if he was free to go to the cinema, his response would be very telling.

[waitingfornaru]

Smum99 No I haven't asked him that, I think I'm pretty afraid of rejection so I feel a leading question like that makes him know for sure I am interested. I kind of do / do not want him to know I'm interested.

He works away sometimes, few days at a time, staying in hotels. Sometimes he travels to see his Ex, he helped her move house recently when she relocated a long way away.
During those times, he doesn't really contact me at all on facebook and we don't text. He could ask my sisters for my number if he really wanted.

He's been absent from facebook several days now. I'm really missing talking to him at night. I don't exclusively sit up every night for him, I'm usually doing other stuff and keep facebook open, but if he's online, lately I feel myself more and more distracted by him.

Your saying that has just made me put things into perspective though. All we actually do is talk on facebook. It's nothing. It's all so flippant. So I got a tiny peck on the lips when we said goodbye. That's nothing in the big scheme of things, is it? :(

I'm just tired of being a lone mother, tired of referee-ing 24/7, I don't have a break, I don't feel like a woman, a human even, I feel like a robot. He lifts me up. It's not just him, watching films or my hobbies also make me happy, but he does something deeper that I can't define. Someome else will come along and grab him soon, women who are prepared to rush in guns blazing when I am not.

I'm too scared to do anything, my fear of rejection because of my previous relationship. I'm just fantasising. That's why it's getting me nowhere fast.

On paper, it could all appear so genuine and full of potential, little nuances of flirty hope here and there, in real life and on facebook. In reality, we just dont see enough of eachother flesh and blood or communicate enough for this to be anything other than fantasy on my part. I am being a big eejit. Yet I suspect he would be gracious enough to let me down gently, in fact I know he would.

I write this now and decide at the end whether to post it, I probably might, it's just thoughts reeling off the top of my head. So if it's all fantasy, why call me 'gorgeous' sometimes? He knows I consider myself unappealing phsycially, so he writes that to make me feel better about myself probably. Why hasn't anybody just said, "Two years! If he hasn't asked you out in two years he just ins't interested you in that way, it's obvious!"

I'm so unholy confused! Best thing for me is to stay off facebook really. If he misses me, he could get in touch. When I have been offline before he does ask my sisters (on facebook convos) what's happened to me.

This is such a go one way or t'other situation, there's no middle ground, I can't be sitting here on the fence much longer. Since that daft tiny goodbye kiss, everything has changed.

[ImperialBlether]

OK why don't you send him a private message saying:

"Hi, I think I'm spending too much time on Facebook lately and need to be doing some real life stuff. I've really enjoyed talking to you. My number's 999 - it would be really nice to chat again in person some time so if you fancy a drink or a walk in the park, let me know. x"

[jasper]

imperalblether have you considered a job negotiating for the united nations? Great plan!