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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A quick peck on the lips from a male friend, what does it mean?

302 replies

waitingfornaru · 11/08/2011 16:50

I have been chatting to a man virtually every night on facebook for a couple of years. He's a family friend, we occasionally cross paths. Our conversations on there are mildly flirty every so often but neither of us like to progress into anything uncouth online.

Every night otherwise, near enough, talk about anything and everything. We don't use the Chat function or send private messages to eachother (Ok, about 2 each in two years), my reason mainly because he's already told me things like everytime he logs on, particular women always instantly send him messages, so I don't want to be like that. I also agree with him that there's nothing we can't say in 'public' on facebook, so no need for private messaging.

At a family wedding, we had our first real opportunity to sit and talk to eachother for several hours, having previously only been in the company of other family members or similar, here we were pretty much together most of the night, having both drunk, but him only a couple of pints, I gave him the usual hug goodbye and a kiss on the cheek, but he gave me a quick peck on the lips. It wasn't a misjudged aim.

What does that peck mean?

Everyone says that he likes me, but if this is alluded to in facebook conversations we both deliberately ignore it and try to change the subject!

We are both single by the way and in early 40s, both out of very long-term relationships exactly two years ago, both of us.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 23/08/2011 21:45

OP is going to slay us when she gets back Grin

Bohica · 23/08/2011 21:47

Marking place for update.

I want to know if he ends up with stinky fingers.

FellatioNelson · 23/08/2011 21:49

Shock Bohica! Too much!

MrsSchadenfreude · 23/08/2011 21:50

And her with a moist gusset. Grin

geraldinetheluckygoat · 23/08/2011 21:50

She said she wouldnt be back till midnight

AnyFucker · 23/08/2011 22:00

I can't stay up that long, I have work in the morning Sad

Bohica, that comment was rather uncouth Smile

MavisGrind · 23/08/2011 22:14

We are not going to find out anything at this rate

I'm going to have to stay up a bit longer finish this bottle of wine-- to see if the OP has done a runner..

Bohica · 23/08/2011 22:15
Grin
AlwaysbeOpralFruitstome · 23/08/2011 22:33

I want to know what [wunk] is a euphemism for, but I dare not ask. For the lewd and coarse turn of this thread, I fear it shall make me blush crimson to my breast Blush.

MavisGrind · 23/08/2011 23:22

Not back yet?

I suspect there is cannodling afoot....

ImperialBlether · 23/08/2011 23:27

OK what time was the film? Whatever time it started, though, it MUST have ended by now!

letitlie · 24/08/2011 00:18

Been lurking.....marking spot so I can check in tomorrow morning Smile

PercyPigPie · 24/08/2011 00:25

Oh for goodness sake. In the time it took me to read this thread I could have cleaned half the house that desperately needs cleaning. Instead, I get to the end of the thread to see that he has already told her he fancies her in binary code Hmm Shock. Come on OP - just flaming well get your act together!

ReadyToDrink · 24/08/2011 00:29

I am loving this thread. I hope the OP takes it in good humour. I imagine a lot will depend on how thorough a ravishing she receives at his manly-but-deft hands, not to mention the quivering bulge held within his breeches.

Grin I'm meant to be essay-writing, but I just came back here to see if the post-midnight update was up yet, but evidently she is otherwise occupied. I shall try to contain my enthusiasm Wink until tomorrow.

geraldinetheluckygoat · 24/08/2011 09:01

Waiting? Are you back yet? I really hope you had a great night, and that it was a good film, and that you and your bloke got on brilliantly.......Smile

DottyDot · 24/08/2011 09:25

Waiting for Waiting...

Fuzzled · 24/08/2011 11:08

Maybe they did get on... Grin

eaglewings · 24/08/2011 11:18

Half the country is waiting for news!

timetoask · 24/08/2011 11:26

been lurking and crossing my fingers for you!
but cannot wait any longer for news!!!! how did it go????

waitingfornaru · 24/08/2011 11:37

Oh my gawd, so funny reading the previous posts; 'People dont exchange binary code with just anyone, you know' Haha!

Well, you were all right, he fancies the pant(aloons) off me and has done for donkeys Grin all that Facebook chat late at night for two years meant something.

It was a happy outcome, but not totally what I would have wished for though.

He stayed talking til half 3 in the morning, talked about sooo much my head's still reeling, and it transpires that he needed to talk to clear the air of sexual tension between us he said. He told me lots of beautiful stuff about what he thought of me, how at my brother's wedding two weeks ago he realised what he felt, that he couldn't look at me without wanting to snog my face off.... BUT..

As I said before, he is (like me) two years out of a very long term relationship for which he shoulders excruciating guilt and along with some depression which he suffers from he feels he isn't in the right place yet for dating, but that I am the woman he would want.
He has had much to deal with emotionally with family issues recently and from what I can intuit his ex partner still possibly has a strong hold on him and is holding him back, until he can let go the guilt or she can let him go, and his depression and other issues are on a more even keel, I have to hold tight, but he doesn't want to lose me, wants me to continue being his friend. To hang in there I guess? I can feel him wanting to kiss me, he kept saying this, but he wanted to be able to respect me and hold out until he is in a more stable place in himself.

I didn't get a kiss. We did have a long, long hug. The kiss would have been too leading for both of us as we both want to so much, but we need to stay friends for the time being.

You know, it would be too easy to dress to kill and floor him in 60 seconds the tension is that high, but I just knew my trepidation was neccessary, I knew it, it isn't all daft Jane Austen-esque, it was and is neccessary in order for him to stabilise himself. He has women after him all over the shop facebookers, etc. (he is very handsome, he really does look like George Clooney) but he cannot and does not want to pursue anyone..but I am who he wants if he was ready.

I know you will think, a gracious rejection. In black and white, that's how it appears. But there is high emotion here, sexual tension, a real feeling of permanence about our friendship, a funny butterfly belly 'fate' feeling about it all. Writing this all down is really helping me actually, I'm still shell-shocked by last night (haven't slept yet).

I have gained a deeper bond with a friend who has a beautiful soul. I now have to restrain myself for the foreseeable future until he is ready. He is worth the wait. You don't meet someone like this every day, he has become a pivotal character in my life's history. Now how am I going to stop myself falling in love with him I don't know, that's going to be hard Blush but that's my priority now, to be a good friend and to ensure I don't fall in love.

I'm sorry this might disappoint some of you romantics, it's too easy to jump someone and think it will progress naturally from there. But if this friendship deepens even more, we will both have such a strong foundation for, well whatever might come later.

Thankyou all so much for your advice. I love Mumsnet
Smile

0100110001101001011001100110010100100000011010010111001100100000011101110110111101101110011001000110010101110010011001100111010101101100

OP posts:
ReadyToDrink · 24/08/2011 11:48

I'm really glad that you're happy and that at least it wasn't all based on wishful thinking or whatever. Just make sure that he doesn't string you along for too long. I understand that things are complicated and that it's good to start a new relationship from a place of stability, but don't let yourself become his ego boost while he doesn't have to bother making a commitment, if you see what I mean? Sorry to come across as cynical after such an optimistic, happy post - I really do wish you well :)

geraldinetheluckygoat · 24/08/2011 12:12

Hey, waiting,

01010011 01101111 00100000 01100111 01101100 01100001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101100 01100001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100101 01101100 01101100 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110000 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101011 01110011 00100000 01101111 01110101 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110000 01100101 01110010 01100110 01100101 01100011 01110100 01101100 01111001 00100001 00100001 00100000

I am glad that you had a good evening, sounds deliciously intense, how exciting!! I would echo ReadytoDrink's advice and say just watch that he doesnt keep you hanging on. He should go for some councelling, relate or sommat, you can go on your own to work through issues. I REALLY hope it all works out and you get together eventually! To be honest, youre a grown woman, and you're not daft so Im sure you can use your own judgement and will know when or if you need to put your foot down if he messes you about. But I dont think he will now he knows you feel the same!

Good for you for taking the comments last night in good humour too, I think everyone is willing this all to work out for you!

PS I am INTO the Binary....I might have to start communicating like this all the time.....

QueeferSutherland · 24/08/2011 12:12

Only just found this thread.

2 years and he's not over his ex? FFS.

Would it be too crude to suggest the best way to get over someone is to get under someone?Wink

geraldinetheluckygoat · 24/08/2011 12:13

Counseling....is that how you spell it? My spelling skills are weaker than my new found binary skills...

QueeferSutherland · 24/08/2011 12:13

Oh, and please don't wait for him. x