Oh my gawd, so funny reading the previous posts; 'People dont exchange binary code with just anyone, you know' Haha!
Well, you were all right, he fancies the pant(aloons) off me and has done for donkeys 
all that Facebook chat late at night for two years meant something.
It was a happy outcome, but not totally what I would have wished for though.
He stayed talking til half 3 in the morning, talked about sooo much my head's still reeling, and it transpires that he needed to talk to clear the air of sexual tension between us he said. He told me lots of beautiful stuff about what he thought of me, how at my brother's wedding two weeks ago he realised what he felt, that he couldn't look at me without wanting to snog my face off.... BUT..
As I said before, he is (like me) two years out of a very long term relationship for which he shoulders excruciating guilt and along with some depression which he suffers from he feels he isn't in the right place yet for dating, but that I am the woman he would want.
He has had much to deal with emotionally with family issues recently and from what I can intuit his ex partner still possibly has a strong hold on him and is holding him back, until he can let go the guilt or she can let him go, and his depression and other issues are on a more even keel, I have to hold tight, but he doesn't want to lose me, wants me to continue being his friend. To hang in there I guess? I can feel him wanting to kiss me, he kept saying this, but he wanted to be able to respect me and hold out until he is in a more stable place in himself.
I didn't get a kiss. We did have a long, long hug. The kiss would have been too leading for both of us as we both want to so much, but we need to stay friends for the time being.
You know, it would be too easy to dress to kill and floor him in 60 seconds the tension is that high, but I just knew my trepidation was neccessary, I knew it, it isn't all daft Jane Austen-esque, it was and is neccessary in order for him to stabilise himself. He has women after him all over the shop facebookers, etc. (he is very handsome, he really does look like George Clooney) but he cannot and does not want to pursue anyone..but I am who he wants if he was ready.
I know you will think, a gracious rejection. In black and white, that's how it appears. But there is high emotion here, sexual tension, a real feeling of permanence about our friendship, a funny butterfly belly 'fate' feeling about it all. Writing this all down is really helping me actually, I'm still shell-shocked by last night (haven't slept yet).
I have gained a deeper bond with a friend who has a beautiful soul. I now have to restrain myself for the foreseeable future until he is ready. He is worth the wait. You don't meet someone like this every day, he has become a pivotal character in my life's history. Now how am I going to stop myself falling in love with him I don't know, that's going to be hard 
but that's my priority now, to be a good friend and to ensure I don't fall in love.
I'm sorry this might disappoint some of you romantics, it's too easy to jump someone and think it will progress naturally from there. But if this friendship deepens even more, we will both have such a strong foundation for, well whatever might come later.
Thankyou all so much for your advice. I love Mumsnet
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